Rather than pen our own response to State of Game, we have turned BHGP over to Bradley Morris, social chair of the Michigan chapter of BAE fraternity and top-notch collar popper.
State of Game,
I read your blog all the time. It's the best. Sometimes I print out your posts and take them to the crapper with me. Then I use them to wipe my ass and throw them over the stall door on one of my fraternity brothers! We all laugh because it's so awesome!!! LOLZ!!!
I agreed with your post yesterday about those a-holes at Black Heart Gold Pants, too. They have no right to be frontin on us like that!!! When was the last time Iowa won the Capital One bowl, huh?!?!? [Ed. note -- 2005] When was the last time Iowa beat Florida in a bowl game?!?! [Ed. note -- 2004] When was the last time Iowa played in a BCS game?!!!?!! [Ed. note -- 2003] They SUCK LOL!! Michigan is teh GREATEST EVAH!!! Has anyone even heard of Iowa before?!?! They should make a video called "Iowa: Where nothing happens" LMAO!!! Iowa's nothing but corn, right? Woah, while I'm thinking of it...
/Puts on a Korn album, starts thrashing uncontrollably
This music gets me so fired up!!! I love Korn!!! They describe my moods so perfect. Sometimes I listen to Korn before I go out with my bros, and then I drink 10 Jager bombs, slip roofies into the Delta girls' drinks, and start fights with strangers!!! ROFLMAO!!1
You did it the right way, too, SoG. There's nothing more effective than talking about your girlfriend. Did you see my g/f Courtney in the pic? She's HOT, and she's a FREEK IN THE SACK!!1! That pic was from St. Patty's Day. I drank so much green Miller Light that day LOL!! We met at winter formal. I went with some other bitch but she got mad when I tried to get her into the hotel lobby bathroom. Bitch deserved to get dumped. I left the bathroom, and Courtney was drunk, and she asked if I liked that Buckcherry song. You know, that Crazy Bitch song? I LUV THAT SONG!!! We hooked up back at my place while my roommate watched. It was HOT!!!
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that there's no better way to attack someone than to question their sexuality. People always back down when you just say they're gay. Make a crack about Brian Boitano or Richard Simmons or some other homo, take something gross off of urbandictionary.com, and BOOM they can't come back. Nerd jokes are good against bloggers, too (you guys aren't really bloggers since you don't actually write anything on your blog). When I wuz on Hot Chicks with Douchebags I emailed them and was like you should move out of your mom's basement LOLROFLMAO!!! Those BHGP nerdz had to be in an A/V club, especially since they're from Iowa, where there isn't any electricity LOL!!!one!
One criticism, bros: You really need to update your pictures. I don't know who James Dean or Marlon Brando are, but they look really old. You should use Joe Rogan or something. MMA RULZ!@!!1! Maybe one of you can be Joe Rogan, and the other can be Carlos Mencia. He's HILARIOUS LOL!!! DER-DEE-DER ROFLMAO!!! That would be BADASSQ!!!!Q
NEway, you broz RULE!!! You own BGHP!!!!! LOL GO BLUE!!1!!1!