In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Hawkeye basketball player and dorm bathroom resident Dan Bohall has decided to leave the program. As Bohall told the media:
"I just really don’t have the heart or the passion for the game anymore....I enjoyed playing basketball, but I’d rather spend more time with my family and my girlfriend."
"I just kind of figured this was the right path to go on....I’m going to continue school at Iowa, work for a golf course for the summer, and try to enjoy life a little now that I’ve got some free time."
The 6-4 sophomore guard was ostensibly a starter for the first 7 games of the campaign before giving way to Jake Kelly. He then missed 6 games for a public intoxication conviction, went through twice as much work as a normal drunk student in an effort to get back in the good graces of his coach, his school, and the media, and played a total of 47 minutes in Iowa's final 17 games. The former walk-on was told he was not keeping his scholarship, and that was it for Dan. Frankly, I doubt I would have made it through everything he did and still have the tenacity to come back and finish the season; the kid has my respect. Enjoy your free time and your summer on the golf course, Dan. Just stay away from the hard stuff.
UPDATE: OK, nothing new here, but I'm embarassed with myself for not coming up with the obvious joke last night.
So I jump ship in Omaha and make my way over to Iowa City, and I get on as a walk-on on a team over in the university. A walk-on, you know, a gray squadder, a walk-on, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro walk-on, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lickliter, himself. Twelfth son of the Lickliter. The flowing robes, the grace, frown... striking. So, I’m at the first practice with him. I give him the basketball. He hauls off and shoots one - good shooter, the Lickliter - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lickliter says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the season and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little scholarship, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won’t be any scholarship, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.