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Charles Godfrey Should Have Just Gone for a Tramp Stamp

Sure, we all make mistakes. Hawkeye State strangled a guy for having a blond moustache, just because it reminded him of Larry Bird and all the money Mr. State lost betting on the Celtics in '87. I mean, he's not in jail or anything--like we're telling the cops--but it probably wasn't the right thing to do.

But I digress. The highest draft prospect coming out of Iowa this year, one Charles Godfrey, would really like to play in Houston, where he's from. And I mean he'd really, really like that. So much so that he got a tattoo of the Texans logo on his right hand. Seriously.

We can understand the undying devotion to the franchise. Who among us doesn't look back fondly on the David Carr era, or the befuddled announcers wondering what the hell a "Vernand Morency" is.* But jeez, Chuck, if you want to get drafted by the Texans so badly, do it the old-fashioned way: hold the coach's daughter for ransom suck the scout's dick set fire to the other 31 stadiums work hard and give a good interview. The tattoo stuff is just weird. And on the hand, no less. Let's just hope it's not visible when you're... y'know. That would just be awkward.

(H/T: Da Haus.)

*We think it has to do with the rainforests.