We like to think of ourselves as technologically inclined folks here at BHGP. We like our HDTV, using YouTube to watch Peter Frampton annihilate While My Guitar Gently Weeps*, etc. etc. Hell, we're bloggers, for crying out loud. We love the tech world.
And that includes twitter, a rapidly growing fad among we technosnobs. The premise is simple: quick, concise messages, ostensibly answering the timeless question of "what are you doing," that people can "follow." Sound weird? For real. Huge thing, though.
WHITE PEOPLE ALERT LEVEL 5
So imagine our joy and glee when [everything past this point is a complete and total lie.--ed.] You think they don't know that? This is BHGP, not the fucking Times. [you think SBN wants a C&D letter?--ed.] Dude, this website is and always has been a giant pile of lies. [you know way too many lawyers to be this naive.--ed.] Sigh. Fine. Anyway, we were fortunate enough to get access to Kirk Ferentz's twitter feed, which may or may not actually exist, and we're happy to share it with you today.
Oh, and yes, technically, this isn't even close to how twitter feeds look; yes, we know. We've never strived for accuracy here, ever, and that shit's not going to start now. But "about 6 hours ago" isn't funny ever, so try not to be this guy and just enjoy an article or something.
captainkirk How do I delete this program? I was better off clueless. 6:48 PM February 25, 2008
CoachLick @Gornstar Your pants stay on during the next practice. I don't care what your "dad" told you. Tell Cyrus the same. 5:58 PM February 25, 2008
GuilloryIn08 I swear to god if I don't start at least half of the games next year I'm transferring back to KSU, this Shonn Greene business is horseshit 5:12 PM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll @popebenedict You too, big guy! Glad you could stop by for a night. Thanks again for the hat. 04:36 PM February 25, 2008
MATTROTH HI 04:01 PM February 25, 2008
jebushchrist I'm not wearing any pants. 3:21 PM February 25, 2008
jakechristesnen Watching Cartoon Network, Scooby Dooby Doo! 02:31 PM February 25, 2008
domodouglascbi4life watchin cartoon network, scooby doo bitch 02:31 PM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll Still haven't urinated. The streak's at 17 days, 8 hours, 15 minutes. Anything less than a month is weakness. 02:13 PM February 25, 2008
MATTROTH yo 02:10 PM February 25, 2008
captainkirk Really, really regretting signing up for Twitter. 2:01 PM February 25, 2008
domodouglascbi4life gonna steal a cop car with the cop still in it, i don't give a fuck 1:49 PM February 25, 2008
MATTROTH WHATS UP 1:40 PM February 25, 2008
djk The police just told me if I don't start every game possible next year, I get to kill my coach and no one will blame me. 1:29 PM February 25, 2008
DaceRichardson Doctor says they need to use alien technology to fix my knee. What's a "Glaxorg Ray"? 1:01 PM February 25, 2008
jamesclevelandwhat IF UR A COACH I DI DNOT TYPE THAT LAST LIMNE OK 12:59 PM February 25, 2008
MATTROTH TITTER 12:55 PM February 25, 2008
MATTROTH WHAT IS TWITTER 12:53 PM February 25, 2008
jakechristesnen God, I hate knives without wooden handles, which end is the cutty end???? 12:47 PM February 25, 2008
MATTROTH HELLO 12:12 PM February 25, 2008
jevonpugh Finished the maze, thanks. PS: AY says thanks for submarining his NFL hopes, coach erb... 12:06 PM February 25, 2008
jevonpugh Sigh... great, my spring playbook is a placemat from shakey's. 12:03 PM February 25, 2008
domodouglascbi4life watchin scarfce, WHAT 11:58 AM February 25, 2008
domodouglascbi4life dougie fresh is bluntd as fuuuuuukkkk 11:51 AM February 25, 2008
alexkarras I was the dad in Webster! 11:18 AM February 25, 2008
jamesclevelandwhat WHO WANTS TO BUY DRUGS I HAVE DRUGS 10:48 AM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll Just beat Dwight Howard in a dunk contest. That guy can sure jump! 09:55 AM February 25, 2008
djk Really looking forward to backing up a couple white guys next year. So, so glad OSU dropped their offer for this. 09:44 AM February 25, 2008
CoachLick @RICKYdavis It's not that at all. You'd totally start. 9:32 AM February 25, 2008
CoachLick @RICKYdavis No, the NCAA said you couldn't play here again, and please stop calling my players; they're terrified. 9:26 AM February 25, 2008
kenokeefe AAAARRRGH 09:25 AM February 25, 2008
kenokeefe I don't understand. It did it again! Nothing I try ever works! I've tried three times, all three times it failed miserably, and now I'm about to punt this lapt 09:24 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Fight to the beginning of the end! 09:17 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Loser takes the fall! 09:17 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Winner takes it all! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Be great! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
OPSurprise I knew following the Hawk would be a grave error. 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Now or never! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Strive for excellence! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS This is it! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Work hard! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Let the fear motivate you! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS You can do it! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS No excuses! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
COACHDANHAWKINSGOBUFFS Go for it! 09:16 AM February 25, 2008
kenokeefe That's strange. This thing cut me off. I was barely into my first paragraph. Is there a problem with the software? I know it's not the connection here, because 09:12 AM February 25, 2008
jakechristesnen Ever spent 30 minutes trying to open a jar, then realize you were turning it the wrong way? 09:04 AM February 25, 2008
kenokeefe Hello, this is Coach Ken O'Keefe. I've never really used a new technology like this, so please bear with me as I get accustomed to "Twitter." I suppose I'll sta 08:41 AM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll Figured out critical flaw in certain coach's trips left pass tendencies on right hash. Prepare to eat violence this fall. 08:04 AM February 25, 2008
TigOlNormParker Real glad I don't coach linebackers anymore. No, I only lost a first-team BXI LB midseason and kept them up. Sure, blame me. FU. 07:51 AM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll Just got to work. Today is another great day! 04:01 AM February 25, 2008
domodouglascbi4life fuck you mufucka, bedtime cbi 4 lyyyyyyf 03:50 AM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll Whoops, I slept in. 03:46 AM February 25, 2008
coachcarroll Good night on Crenshaw. Better get to bed. Today was another great day. 01:49 AM February 25, 2008
domodouglascbi4life uoefuiasfasfuihsfuifs8ohusahu im hiiiiiiiiiigh 12:22 AM February 25, 2008
*interesting to note that he's just about the only guitarist to come out of that era totally unscathed. Clapton is a bore, Jimmy Page is dulled beyond repair**, and everyone else is long since dead. Hey, based on that video, I'll take it.
**No, I'm not hating. I love Led Zeppelin. Hell, the first song I ever sang wasn't Itsy Bitsy Spider or some shit, it was Whole Lotta Love at 20 months old. Plant and Jones are miles ahead of Page anymore. Sorry, but, c'mon.