So, uh... last night. That was interesting. A 53-51 squeaker over the worst major-conference team of the decade. Yep.
Now, we had no doubt that Iowa would pull this one out, even as they trailed 36-22. [liar.--ed.] We had faith. [do you want me to pull up the text messages?--ed.] No. [okay then.--ed.] So we doubted that Iowa could come back. They were shooting about 22% from the field at the time and getting killed on the boards. By Northwestern. They needed a hero.

And a Bohall would lead them.
Improbably, your two heroes of the second half were my adopted son, Cyrus Tate [does he know about this adoption thing?--ed.] Christ no. [it's better that way.--ed.], and Dan "The Man" Bohall. Tate scored 15 second-half points, and the Danimal--not Seth Gorney or Justin Johnson--was on the floor during the last 13 minutes of game play. Sure, Bohall only had five points, but his defense was a welcomed respite from Johnson's total uselessness. Plus, the way Iowa plays, five Iowa points is like 17 regular points.
So we can exhale, knowing that we don't have to talk about things like "has Iowa ever lost to a worse BXI team ever ever?" or "Is it legal to put Justin Johnson into a giant cannon and shoot him into the Oort Cloud?" Next game's on Saturday, when Iowa travels to East Lansing to talk about MSU's loss at Carver. That, uh, ought to be interesting.
We're totally going to lose by like 80.