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Guess Who Desperately Wants Iowa to Lose Tonight. Go On, Guess

Should the Iowa men's basketball team lose to lowly Northwestern tonight, don't expect Iowa coach Todd Lickliter to use fatigue as an excuse.


"I can't imagine being 20 years old and being fatigued. I just can't even fathom that."

Senior forward Seth Gorney apparently can, though.


Iowa (11-15, 4-9 Big Ten) has lost three consecutive games using mostly a seven-player rotation. Some wonder if the lack of depth has started to take a toll on the players.

If you had one guess as to which local columnist may have unloaded such Haterade in light of Iowa's upcoming tilt against the comically incompetent Northwestern Wildcats, who would it be? Would it be Pat Harty? Of course it would. And it is.

There is, of course, nothing quite factually inaccurate about his stories; that'd be grounds for dismissal. Rather, his prose reminds us of Fox News reporting: so blatantly slanted that there must be an agenda behind it. Even Slapdick Skip Bayless isn't this firmly mired in bullshit.

You know what? Railing against Pat Harty feels like a job I don't even like anymore. It'a obvious and easy and repetitive. The guy's the exact opposite of a homer. His favorite team is whoever plays the Hawkeyes. He gets an erection whenever Jeff Peterson turns the ball over (which is a lot). Fuck Pat Harty.

We didn't want to do this, but in the face of such breathtaking hateration, we have no choice. Buckle up, folks; it's a Pat Harty Avalanche.