I realize we've probably had our fill of Barkley jokes, but as a member of the Sports Column (Denver branch) mailing list, I just received this email:
One Night Only!
Charles Barkley – up close
January 13th | 7:00 pm | Wells Fargo Theatre | Downtown DenverThis is your chance to see the one, the only “Sir” Charles Barkley, in a unique personal evening. Known as the 9th Wonder of the World, Charles has overcome doubters all his life. Too short at 6’4” to be considered a serious contender, Barkley went on to become MVP and one of the NBA’s top stars. Now author of 3 insightful (are you shitting me?) books, commentator on sports, politics and life, Charles Barkley will share tales of his exploits on the court and off.
At first I figured it was some sort of joke, especially in light of recent events, but I went to the Insight Speakers website and he's one of their "extraordinary global personalities." Also included are Desmond Tutu, Bob Woodward, Carole Baldwin and Isabel Allende.
"No matter how your day has been, you can go to any of these speakers and feel lifted above the day-to-day, inspired, challenged, stimulated."
That, my friends, is a real quote from their website.
Let's review:
Their panel of extraordinary human beings includes an Archbishop, a pulitzer prize winning journalist, a well-respected marine biologist, an author who has sold over 50 million books world wide.......and this guy:
I have no doubt that he will "inspire and stimulate" the audience with such famous lines as:
"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."
When asked if graduated from Auburn:
"No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."
"All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."
Ernie Jones: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort."
Charles: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!"
And maybe my favorite:
"You can talk without saying a thing. I don't ever want to be that type of person."
You just can't buy wisdom like that. Actually you can.....for about $60.