"Once got busy in a Burger King bathroom" - Humpty Hump
"Once got busy in a Metrodome bathroom" - Humpty Dump
The best story from last weekend's epic 55-0 drubbing up at the Dome is... well, it's probably the game itself. And the records. And this FanPost.
But past all that, it's what happened behind the scenes, as we have a late leader for King and Queen Awesome, 2008. That would be the unnamed 38-year-old woman and 26-year-old man who were nailed for, uh, nailing. They were caught having sex in the men's room at the Metrodome during the game last weekend:
Considering the state of the Minnesota Gophers' crippling loss against the Iowa Hawkeyes last weekend, one could reasonably assume some would have rather watched anything but the action on the field.
That's precisely what police said approximately 15 people did when they observed the action going on inside a men's bathroom at the Metrodome last Saturday.
According to a report filed by University of Minnesota Police, the crowd had gathered to cheer on a couple "having relations" in one of the stalls.
Since the two weren't arrested, we're denied the richer-than-chocolate privilege of seeing mugshots. I, for one, hope the lady's either really hot or just beastly. No half-stepping here.
But that's not even the best part of the story. The two Iowa fans (as if there was any doubt at all) were both in a committed relationship. Just, uh, not with each other. The police released the man to his girlfriend, and the woman to her husband. Yeah. She came up from Iowa to the game with her spouse, and couldn't make it the whole game without sneaking into the men's room and getting filled up by some dude a dozen years younger while a bunch of people cheer them on.
I'm not sure what's going to be more awkward--the drives home on Saturday, or the Thanksgiving dinners.
Husband: "Say, whore, could you pass the cranberries?"
Wife: "Oh come on, Michael, treat me with some respect, we are in front of family!"
H: "Fine, fine."
W: "Good."
H: "So are you going to pass the cranberries, or go fuck them in the bathroom instead?"
Cheers to you, Cougar, and to you too, MILF Hunter! Your interpretive dance of the domination the Hawkeyes were putting on the Gophers won over the crowd and BHGP as well. Happy Thanksgiving, and may your inevitable breakups be soon, swift, and unlike the venue in which you fornicated, clean.