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The Legend of J Leman

We love J Leman here. The level of mancrush we have for the all-Conference (and, so fittingly, All-American) linebacker from Illinois surpasses that which we've got for Rambo, Pete Carroll, and the guy that built this. Combined. So you have to understand that when ESPN decides to write an article about J and infomercials, it is absolutely and positively getting posted here.

If pro football doesn't work out, Leman hopes to become a sports broadcaster. Or he might choose a more unique profession -- as the voice for infomercials. Leman admits being an infomercial junkie and often watches TV late at night while his teammates are sleeping. Leman has purchased a product only once after watching an infomercial. He bought a can opener for his mother and admits it was a "total bust."

"I like to watch them," Leman said. "I'm always fascinated with them. I think it would be fun. I think it would be a good job. I'd never endorse a product that I didn't think worked well."

Leman's favorite infomercials are those hawking exercise products and kitchen gadgets, particularly the "Magic Bullet."

"It's the personal countertop magician," Leman said. "It can do anything in 10 seconds or less. It does it all."

I'm an Iowan, so I definitely caucused last night. Who did I support? Nobody gives a shit, that's who! But I do now already regret my decision, not because of how my candidate performed, but because my candidate was not J Leman. Truly, I have failed America.