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The Virus Strikes Hard

ITEM! What player, during conference play, leads the Big Ten in field goal percentage and is third in rebounding?

No, it's not Kevin Garnett (good guess, though). It's my adopted Hawkeye, Cyrus Tate. Seriously. Since the Justin Johnson freak show conference opener, The Virus has averaged nearly eight boards a game and has converted 28 of 39 field goals, a 71.8 percentage (stats here).

That, um--that won't continue, of course; Tate's far past overdue for a regression to the mean, and if that means he has to go 1-8 tomorrow night, fine, whatever. It's still yet another sign that the Iowa team is improving, and more quickly than what most sane observers predicted even two months ago, when Iowa was getting walloped by, like, Utah State.

Other fun stats from the BXI include Tony Freeman making more threes than anyone (over three a game), Jeff Peterson second in free throw percentage (16-17, or 94%), and Dan Bohall for most Smirnoff Ices consumed at a bar (39 on the year; tied for second place, with zero, is everybody else). But our (okay, just my) hat is off to the Virus, even if he plays defense the way men think--with his cock.

Bad decision, Cyrus--Big 10 officials call wristdicking all the time.

ITEM! I was planning on going to the CR Kennedy-City High game tonight* to watch incoming guard Matt Gatens play, but that's been cancelled due to the blizzard we're putting up with tonight. That's fair, I suppose; the wind chill's already -17, and um, the sun's still up and the snow hasn't fallen yet.

We're not sure what could have angered Jesus to the extent that he's dropping temperatures 60 degrees and unleashing arctic hell on us like this, but we're pretty certain you've been lax on your prayers as of late, reader (and don't get us started on praying for more prayers; Jesus isn't a genie).

Anyhoo, the game will be Monday night here at City High, so if I still remember its existence by then**, I'll be there. Want to organize a BHGP get-together? No? Me neither!

*I don't know why, exactly; I already know what I'll say. Fast, strong, can jump, whiter than you can imagine. There. Boom.
**and those odds are pretty fucking slim.