We don't gamble here at Black Heart Gold Pants. It's a dangerous and unsavory habit that's tearing away at our nation's fabric. It's particularly disturbing when you read how many college kids are throwing away hard earned beer money to bookies. It's a national tragedy. However, we can't stop you from gambling and we're not judging you. In fact, we're here to help! So if you're going to be a degenerate gambler, stop by here first, and we'll guide you through the fog of your addictions. I know, you're probably getting the shakes, so, go ahead, read.
My first thought was, that's a lot of points. I know, I know, the Irish suck, and yes, I hate them too. However, I'm hearing rumblings from Happy Valley that they're going to kill Lil Jimmy Clausen. Now, that may be true, but let's not forget that just last year Penn St got taken out behind the woodshed by Mr Fat and the Lepres, 41-17. Notre Dame is a different team this year, to be sure, but I wouldn't spend too much time watching film from your game, or theirs, from last week, lest you look past them and get upset at home by the nation's second biggest laughingstock. Penn State wins but take the points and put your money on Notre Dame. Speaking of laughingstocks -
This is the most intriguing game of the week, and again, seems like a lot of points. The Big Blue Nation did not take their loss well last week. In fact, they're still talking about it. That's all they're talking about. Looking backwards is the quickest way to get your head removed in football. I haven't heard many mentions of the fact that they play Oregon. The Ducks have a shitload of talent at the skill positions and they also happen to run the same spread offense that bedeviled the Wolverines!!! last week. Thankfully, for Michigan, they're at home, as they are 6 out of their first 7 games (hooray for level playing fields!). If I'm Llllloyd! (and thank gawd I'm not), I'm hoping Mike Hart plays all 4 quarters and gets the chains moving early and often. Last thing I want is the crowd jumping on Henne's skittish ass early on or this really could be a lost season. I see a lot of similarities in these teams. They both have a tremendous amount of talent, great offenses, soggy defenses, and a penchant for showing up a couple times a year with their heads buried in their cavernous assholes. It'll be interesting to see who wants this one. If I'm a gambling man, I'm putting momma's house on Oregon.
Fun Fact: Oregon has been shutout all three times they played at the Big House. I'm thinking this streak comes to an end.
After last week, Tyler Donovan left me wondering what the hell John Stocco was doing starting the last 3 seasons. He looked spectacular while throwing for 3 TD's and running for another. Scoring points should not be a problem against the Runnin' Rebels but can they stop them? UNLV will run the ball, relentlessly, and if you're a Wisky fan you have to hope coach Bielema's nasty demeanor will translate to his defensive line which got gashed for 5 yards a pop last week against Wazzu. This game will tell me a lot about the Badgers, who appear to the Big 10's most solid opportunity at a National Championship. Like the other games above, I'm advising you to take the points and the dog.
That's it for this week, and remember, bet as much as you want, I really don't give a shit, it's not my money. Just don't be gambling on every game out there. Pick 3 and bet as much as you want on them. That's why they call it gambling!