This story has nothing to do with the Hawkeyes, so feel free to ignore it. Nonetheless, last week, a guard dog actually bit an Auburn player on the hand during a game. Observe:
The next day, during EDSBS's outstanding weekly call-in show, a shitstorm of hilarity rained down in the chat window. I was fortunate enough to participate, and I wanted to see a record of the chat kept for prosperity; some of the comments were epic. My favorites were as follows:
Harris: That dog took all the black keys off his piano.
OrsonSwindle: That dog thinks Mormons have the right idea.
Sparkyjbd: That dog thought Craig James was the heart and soul of the Pony Express.
NativeSon: That dog calls it The War of Northern Aggression.
Harris: That dog wasted $60 on Fish Bone tickets.
Grimey7575: That dog prefers the Electric Slide.
OrsonSwindle: That dog thinks "Save the Last Dance" is a horror film.
The entire list is 1) edited down to That Dog comments; 2) still unbelievably long, long, long; 3) not even complete; there was one about the dog still liking Zimbabwe better when it was called "Rhodesia" that's been lost in the ether. I didn't format it or anything, but fuck it. It's a service to Orson and his army of mad genius commenters at EDSBS, and hopefully our more intrepid readers (see: unemployed and willing to waste an hour on examples of latent racism in canines) will enjoy it as well.
(Enormous list of comments here...)
11/25/2007 5:29:29 PM MrPelicanPants: Dem Dogs dey bite
11/25/2007 5:29:43 PM MrPelicanPants: Probaly trained to attack Mike Vick
11/25/2007 5:30:03 PM Quinton: It was an goalpost guard dog
11/25/2007 5:30:13 PM Paragon: rhodesian Ridgeback?
11/25/2007 5:30:14 PM Warthen: that was one of Bull Connor's dogs
11/25/2007 5:30:19 PM MrPelicanPants: Clockwork Orange training on the dogs via Mike Vick photos
11/25/2007 5:30:33 PM Harris: Bull Connor's spirit dies hard in Bama.
11/25/2007 5:30:36 PM OopsPowSurprise: The dog was trained in Selma.
11/25/2007 5:30:51 PM MrPelicanPants: That dog was waiting on the firehoses to start
11/25/2007 5:31:49 PM VolunteerValtrex: the dog was then overheard saying segregation now, segregation forever
11/25/2007 5:32:13 PM OopsPowSurprise: His collar says "States' rights"
11/25/2007 5:32:18 PM Harris: That dog stood at the schoolhouse door
11/25/2007 5:32:53 PM Warthen: actually, the dogs now say they're into stronger police and are tough on immigration
11/25/2007 5:33:04 PM MrPelicanPants: That dog has a vendetta against any football player that looks like Mike Vick
11/25/2007 5:33:10 PM Harris: That dog's next assignment? "Guarding" the Obama campaign.
11/25/2007 5:33:12 PM Grimey7575: That dog wants Karl Dorrell fired
11/25/2007 5:33:27 PM NativeSon: word has spread around the dog universe re: Vick
11/25/2007 5:33:38 PM Harris: That dog can't wait for Washington to visit.
11/25/2007 5:34:01 PM MrPelicanPants: That dog would be bored to death at the Kansas - Missouri game, no one to bite
11/25/2007 5:34:26 PM Warthen: that dog is why Charlie Strong hasn't gotten a head coaching job yet
11/25/2007 5:35:11 PM Harris: That dog hates the Nebraska defense.
11/25/2007 5:35:17 PM VolunteerValtrex: That dog just took the Ole Miss coaching job
11/25/2007 5:36:10 PM Grimey7575: That dog wants a piece of Jeremy Macklin
11/25/2007 5:36:12 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog doesn't much care for rap
11/25/2007 5:36:21 PM Harris: That dog wants all the Macklin he can get.
11/25/2007 5:36:44 PM Harris: That dog is named Clayton Biggums.
11/25/2007 5:36:54 PM Saurian-Henry: bigsby
11/25/2007 5:37:08 PM Warthen: I thought that dog's name was just Wallace
11/25/2007 5:37:08 PM MrPelicanPants: That dog likes the dark meat
11/25/2007 5:37:40 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog blocked BET on his TV at home
11/25/2007 5:38:01 PM Harris: That dog hates Prince and Lenny Kravitz. But only hates Kravitz half as much.
11/25/2007 5:38:09 PM Grimey7575: That dog really likes Bill Cosby, though
11/25/2007 5:39:28 PM Grimey7575: That dog can five-star Metallica's "One" on expert level
11/25/2007 5:39:38 PM Warthen: that dog hates Finebaum
11/25/2007 5:40:22 PM Grimey7575: You don't talk trash to that dog, you'll get yo butt whooped
11/25/2007 5:40:26 PM MrPelicanPants: How much are that dogs puppies selling for?
11/25/2007 5:40:34 PM Harris: That dog was thrilled to see Glennon starting for VT.
11/25/2007 5:40:55 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog thinks Brent Schaeffer should move to WR
11/25/2007 5:40:59 PM BurritoBrosShits: That dog would hate the Gators, but Tebow would break its neck
11/25/2007 5:41:04 PM Harris: The puppies are free, but only to good, white homes.
11/25/2007 5:41:09 PM Grimey7575: That dog likes wide receivers with deceptive speed
11/25/2007 5:41:26 PM OopsPowSurprise: Harris, the euphemism is "safe neighborhoods"
11/25/2007 5:41:27 PM Sparkyjbd: that dog was voting for tebow even before dixon destroyed his knee
11/25/2007 5:41:43 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog fucking hates NOIS
11/25/2007 5:42:06 PM MrPelicanPants: that dog is gonna give Ron Cherry da bidness
11/25/2007 5:42:09 PM Warthen: that dog wishes redlining were still legal
11/25/2007 5:42:46 PM NativeSon: that dog ordered the Code Red
11/25/2007 5:42:59 PM Harris: He's running from that dog.
11/25/2007 5:43:01 PM MrPelicanPants: That dog is the CODE RED
11/25/2007 5:43:09 PM Grimey7575: That dog deserved to die, and I hope it burns in hell!
11/25/2007 5:43:24 PM DevinMcC: That dog is Keyser Soze
11/25/2007 5:45:10 PM Sparkyjbd: that dog thinks jacob hester is the best running back in college football
11/25/2007 5:45:15 PM Harris: That dog took out McNabb's ankle.
11/25/2007 5:45:37 PM Harris: That dog LOVES Tebow.
11/25/2007 5:45:41 PM NativeSon: Was that dog on the field when Dixon's knee went?
11/25/2007 5:45:42 PM Grimey7575: That dog's name is That Dog
11/25/2007 5:45:47 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog got pissed when Grambling-Southern was on this weekend
11/25/2007 5:46:01 PM Warthen: that dog loves possession receivers
11/25/2007 5:46:10 PM Harris: No, that dog's name is Grand Wizard.
11/25/2007 5:46:46 PM Harris: Warthen, he's also fond of gritty throwbacks and guys who run good routes.
11/25/2007 5:46:51 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog voted for David Duke in '92
11/25/2007 5:47:47 PM VolunteerValtrex: That dog hates crissy johnson
11/25/2007 5:48:03 PM Harris: That dog is trying to harm people.
11/25/2007 5:48:22 PM Warthen: that dog fought for Mizzouri in the border wars
11/25/2007 5:48:56 PM Harris: That dog is debating between Guliani and Romney, but really likes Paul.
11/25/2007 5:49:44 PM Warthen: WHAT, I was sure that dog was a Tancredo supporter--what with his tough stance on immigration and all
11/25/2007 5:49:47 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog is ambivalent about the foreign-looking kids on Hawaii
11/25/2007 5:54:30 PM Harris: That dog vs. The Orgeron. Sunday in the Octagon.
11/25/2007 5:54:55 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog wants to send his puppies to Bob Jones University.
11/25/2007 5:55:03 PM Warthen: that dog can only recruit in the midwest--he'd be wasted at Baylor
11/25/2007 5:55:13 PM Harris: That dog won't coach blacks. He'll likely wind up at Boston College.
11/25/2007 5:56:43 PM Warthen: That dog wants us all to know that he has lots of black friends--and Tony Gwynn was his favorite baseball player
11/25/2007 6:01:13 PM Harris: That dog can't recruit for shit.
11/25/2007 6:02:18 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog loves Coach K
11/25/2007 6:03:15 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog hates the 901 area code
11/25/2007 6:03:59 PM Harris: That dog has a signed portrait of Adolf Rupp.
11/25/2007 6:04:30 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog gave Glory Road 1 star
11/25/2007 6:04:32 PM Harris: That dog only half hates Joe Dailey.
11/25/2007 6:04:45 PM MrPelicanPants: that dog would bite Oprah and dare her to sue him
11/25/2007 6:04:55 PM Harris: That dog's favorite movie is Hoosiers.
11/25/2007 6:05:00 PM Warthen: That dog thinks Jim Delaney is what a commissioner should be
11/25/2007 6:05:28 PM Sparkyjbd: that dog doesn't think barack obama is "electable"
11/25/2007 6:06:14 PM Warthen: that dog thinks that guy was 'well spoken'
11/25/2007 6:06:30 PM Grimey7575: That dog is a big fan of the humor of Larry the Cable Guy
11/25/2007 6:06:33 PM Harris: That dog wants a threesome with Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter. He'd be the second most attractive in that grouping.
11/25/2007 6:06:50 PM NativeSon: that dog feels that Obama dresses well and enunciates.
11/25/2007 6:07:12 PM MrPelicanPants: That dogs favorite show is COPS
11/25/2007 6:07:29 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog thinks border security is a bigtime election issue
11/25/2007 6:07:31 PM Harris: That dog wants to touch Obama's hair.
11/25/2007 6:07:39 PM BurritoBrosShits: Well the dog is a German shpherd
11/25/2007 6:08:24 PM BurritoBrosShits: The Dog is for the wall between Mexico and US
11/25/2007 6:08:56 PM Harris: That dog's favorite boxer is Max Schmelling.
11/25/2007 6:09:01 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog loves the Marshall Tucker Band
11/25/2007 6:09:02 PM Warthen: that dog is there to make sure 'the wrong kind of person' doesn't get near George Wallace's old seat
11/25/2007 6:09:21 PM BurritoBrosShits: OPS, the Dog is definitely a big David Allen Coe fan
11/25/2007 6:09:27 PM JackFu: that dog sees a clear division between "ath-eh-letic" quarterbacks and quarterbacks who "make good decisions"
11/25/2007 6:09:27 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog's favorite form of transport is zeppilins
11/25/2007 6:09:29 PM Harris: That dog thinks Colin Powell isn't "our kind of Republican."
11/25/2007 6:09:33 PM Warthen: that dog thinks UGA doing the Soulja Boy is 'classless'
11/25/2007 6:09:44 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog is torn over J.C. Watts
11/25/2007 6:09:55 PM Grimey7575: That dog prefers the Electric Slide
11/25/2007 6:10:05 PM GamecockTX: over/under on remaining dog jokes tonight: 5,256
11/25/2007 6:10:20 PM Harris: That dog is really hoping Alan Keyes gets in the race.
11/25/2007 6:10:43 PM Warthen: that dog thinks Alan Keyes is 'one of the good ones'
11/25/2007 6:10:47 PM Grimey7575: That dog just scored again on Nebraska
11/25/2007 6:11:06 PM BurritoBrosShits: The Dog supports our troops
11/25/2007 6:11:10 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog was fired from Monday Night Football in 2003
11/25/2007 6:11:30 PM Harris: That dog doesn't understand what Jimmy the Greek did wrong.
11/25/2007 6:12:14 PM Grimey7575: That dog doesn't like Chad Johnson's antics
11/25/2007 6:12:19 PM Harris: Sorry, dude. But that dog would have plenty of company in Philly.
11/25/2007 6:12:21 PM JackFu: that dog thinks you need to recruit players with more fast-twitch muscle fiber
11/25/2007 6:12:31 PM NativeSon: That dog prefers Vigay Singh to Tiger, given the choice.
11/25/2007 6:12:42 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog objected to making MLK Day a national holiday.
11/25/2007 6:12:50 PM OopsPowSurprise: and don't get it started on Kwanzaa.
11/25/2007 6:12:51 PM BurritoBrosShits: But the dog is a Phil fan
11/25/2007 6:13:30 PM MrPelicanPants: that dog things Katrina happened on purpose
11/25/2007 6:13:46 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog has a wide stance
11/25/2007 6:13:49 PM Harris: That dog HOPES Katrina happened on purpose.
11/25/2007 6:13:57 PM Warthen: That dog forwarded the pick of that looter to everyone he knew
11/25/2007 6:14:04 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog has four magnetic ribbons on its SUV
11/25/2007 6:14:05 PM NativeSon: That dog is not a fan of Kanye West.
11/25/2007 6:14:39 PM DisgruntledGoat: that dog wants to know why those people can't pull up their damn pants
11/25/2007 6:15:19 PM BurritoBrosShits: the dog is a big Ron Paul fan
11/25/2007 6:15:26 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog grounded its kid for renting Soul Plane
11/25/2007 6:16:00 PM NativeSon: That dog most certainly does not love Soulja Boy
11/25/2007 6:16:00 PM Harris: That dog thinks Simon Legree had the right idea.
11/25/2007 6:16:26 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog is a big fan of Sean Hannity
11/25/2007 6:16:48 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog listens to the Savags Nation
11/25/2007 6:17:05 PM Warthen: that dog shook his head upon hearing the McFadden interview
11/25/2007 6:17:24 PM Harris: That dog thinks Limbaugh was right about McNabb.
11/25/2007 6:17:29 PM GamecockTX: that dog knows how to defend a peyton hillis swing pass
11/25/2007 6:18:17 PM Harris: That dog took all the black keyes off his piano.
11/25/2007 6:19:11 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog isn't a fan of Mexican food
11/25/2007 6:19:15 PM JackFu: jacob hester is that dog's favorite RB
11/25/2007 6:19:22 PM NativeSon: That dog is a fan of banana pudding.
11/25/2007 6:19:27 PM Harris: That dog won't eat black beans in chili.
11/25/2007 6:20:03 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog thinks Perriloux should have been kicked off the team
11/25/2007 6:20:23 PM Grimey7575: That dog voted for Clay Aiken
11/25/2007 6:20:38 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog loves him some Chick0Fil-A
11/25/2007 6:21:08 PM Warthen: that dog thinks Steltz is better than LaRon Landry ever was
11/25/2007 6:21:34 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog still cant forgive jessie owens
11/25/2007 6:21:36 PM Grimey7575: That dog be acting all like a zombie at the mall
11/25/2007 6:21:53 PM Harris: That dog loves mayonnaise and wonder bread sandwiches.
11/25/2007 6:22:07 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog is confused by Arian Foster
11/25/2007 6:22:14 PM Warthen: that dog loves Vienna Sausages
11/25/2007 6:22:56 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog has a summer home in chile
11/25/2007 6:23:01 PM NativeSon: That dog doesn't like "durrrty"
11/25/2007 6:23:03 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog only humps labs that are yellow
11/25/2007 6:23:17 PM Harris: But he prefers white poodles.
11/25/2007 6:23:24 PM JackFu: that dog would be a possession receiver
11/25/2007 6:23:35 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog has golden lab pinups
11/25/2007 6:24:23 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog plays sun city
11/25/2007 6:24:24 PM Harris: That dog was born on Stone Mountain.
11/25/2007 6:25:05 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dogs grandfather fought in the Boer War
11/25/2007 6:25:14 PM Harris: That dog hated "Roots."
11/25/2007 6:25:36 PM Warthen: actually, he thought some parts of "Roots" were funny
11/25/2007 6:25:38 PM Harris: My name is Kunte Kinte!
11/25/2007 6:25:41 PM OopsPowSurprise: Nice Harris. That dog named Powers "toby"--damn it chomp
11/25/2007 6:26:09 PM JackFu: that dog thought hattie mcdaniel's performance was brilliant
11/25/2007 6:26:25 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog sympathized with Bud Kilmer in Varsity Blues
11/25/2007 6:26:29 PM Grimey7575: That dog thinks blackface is a good Halloween costume
11/25/2007 6:26:37 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog was not a fan of the Randy shannon hire
11/25/2007 6:26:52 PM NativeSon: That dog's great great great grandfather came over on the Amistad.
11/25/2007 6:26:57 PM Grimey7575: That dog thinks Joey Harrington just needs another chance
11/25/2007 6:27:04 PM MrPelicanPants: that dog laughed at Platoon
11/25/2007 6:27:05 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog has no problem with separate but equal
11/25/2007 6:27:15 PM GamecockTX: that dog hates byron leftwich
11/25/2007 6:27:29 PM Warthen: that dog is fond of saying that 'they don't make em like that anymore'
11/25/2007 6:27:37 PM Harris: That dog wrote a book with Ward Connerly.
11/25/2007 6:27:39 PM NativeSon: That dog feels Charlie Weis should be given a few more years to pull it together.
11/25/2007 6:28:01 PM Saurian-Henry: that dog still thinks Babe Ruth owns the "real" record
11/25/2007 6:28:13 PM Harris: That dog felt Ty Willingham was a fine recruiter
11/25/2007 6:28:28 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog thinks Jackie Robinson is overrated
11/25/2007 6:29:03 PM Harris: That dog treasures his Ty Cobb rookie card
11/25/2007 6:29:23 PM NativeSon: That dog feels Nick Saban looks quite dapper in that straw hat.
11/25/2007 6:29:35 PM OopsPowSurprise: that dog wants to stay the course in Iraq
11/25/2007 6:29:57 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog is opposed to stem cell reasearch
11/25/2007 6:30:09 PM JackFu: that dog is happy he moved to the suburbs ... for the better schools
11/25/2007 6:30:41 PM Warthen: That dog enjoys listening to talk radio during his morning commute
11/25/2007 6:30:52 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog was furious when he went to a Living Color concert.
11/25/2007 6:31:03 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog thinks talent trumps character
11/25/2007 6:31:16 PM Harris: That dog wasted $60 on Fish Bone tickets.
11/25/2007 6:31:47 PM Warthen: That dog secretly wishes he lived in Canada
11/25/2007 6:31:53 PM NativeSon: That dog could never quite get into the whole "New Jack Swing" movement some years back.
11/25/2007 6:32:21 PM Harris: That dog thinks the Australians had the right idea for dealing with the natives
11/25/2007 6:32:23 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog thinks American History X was a documentary
11/25/2007 6:32:41 PM OopsPowSurprise: He thought it was a comedy, Burrito
11/25/2007 6:32:44 PM Harris: That dog jerks off to Romper Stomper
11/25/2007 6:33:28 PM Harris: That dog lost all respect for Strom Thurmond after meeting the senator's daughter
11/25/2007 6:33:31 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog has a confederate flag in its dorm room
11/25/2007 6:33:39 PM NewAZTiger: That dog is tougher than Paris Hilton's diaphragm.
11/25/2007 6:33:39 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog thinks Air Force needs more afro-american athletes
11/25/2007 6:34:13 PM Grimey7575: That dog thinks Notre Dame's academic requirements are too strict
11/25/2007 6:34:14 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog hates rims
11/25/2007 6:34:34 PM Harris: That dog things three-fifths was far too high
11/25/2007 6:34:43 PM Warthen: Grimey, that dog thinks that those requirements keep out 'an unwanted element'
11/25/2007 6:34:58 PM BurritoBrosShits: I said, that the dog loves David Allen Coe
11/25/2007 6:35:05 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog is a big fan of the blue collar comedy tour
11/25/2007 6:35:07 PM NativeSon: That dog pisses on Calvin.
11/25/2007 6:35:19 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog loves hims some Jeff Foxworthy
11/25/2007 6:35:22 PM Grimey7575: That dog thinks that Jeff Gordon ain't shit
11/25/2007 6:35:27 PM Harris: That dog would rather push a chevy than drive a Ford
11/25/2007 6:35:36 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog vehemently disagrees with the title "Kings of Comedy"
11/25/2007 6:36:04 PM GamecockTX: that dog thinks there should be a show'my name is hurl'
11/25/2007 6:36:32 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog is fretting, wondering what the drought would do to the cotton yield
11/25/2007 6:36:48 PM Harris: That dog won't eat peanut butter.
11/25/2007 6:37:10 PM OopsPowSurprise: Holy shit Harris, just got that.
11/25/2007 6:37:15 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog still thinks the south will rise again
11/25/2007 6:37:15 PM NativeSon: That dog calls it The War of Northern Aggression.
11/25/2007 6:37:31 PM Grimey7575: That dog will lead Bama to a 6-6 record for the taste of flesh, which is cheaper than 4 million
11/25/2007 6:37:31 PM Warthen: That dog quit voting Democrat back in 64, still Votes Democrat locally though
11/25/2007 6:37:33 PM OrsonSwindle: The dog has lots of black friends.
11/25/2007 6:37:39 PM OrsonSwindle: He does, really.
11/25/2007 6:37:53 PM JackFu: that dog says the civil war was sparked by "economic issues"
11/25/2007 6:38:09 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog--shit, I already made a "states' rights" joke.
11/25/2007 6:38:11 PM BurritoBrosShits: Orson, the dogs caddy and butler aren't his friends
11/25/2007 6:38:55 PM Warthen: That dog's dad was the casting director for Andy Griffeth
11/25/2007 6:38:59 PM Harris: That dog gave up on the NBA when Bird retired.
11/25/2007 6:38:59 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog doesn't like the WFVU offense
11/25/2007 6:39:00 PM NativeSon: That dog knows something 'bout birthin' babies.
11/25/2007 6:39:12 PM Warthen: that dog did the honors for both Friends and Seinfeld
11/25/2007 6:39:22 PM GamecockTX: that dog is a huge steve nash fan, though
11/25/2007 6:39:26 PM Grimey7575: That dog likes to get his water from a separate fountain
11/25/2007 6:39:39 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog is a Dirk fan, white and German
11/25/2007 6:39:40 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog has a Wes Welker jersey
11/25/2007 6:40:15 PM Grimey7575: That dog would never bite Kirk Barton
11/25/2007 6:40:32 PM LSUJoshua: That dog wouldn't have said fudge helping his dad change a tire
11/25/2007 6:40:35 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog loves him some LArry Munson
11/25/2007 6:40:48 PM Harris: Thhat dog loved Seinfeld.
11/25/2007 6:40:51 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog stopped cheering for Bama in 69
11/25/2007 6:40:56 PM Harris: And Friends.
11/25/2007 6:41:10 PM Harris: He didn't care for Good Times
11/25/2007 6:41:15 PM Warthen: hey harris, i JUST used those
11/25/2007 6:41:18 PM Sparkyjbd: harris, that dog thought seinfeld was too "new york"
11/25/2007 6:41:18 PM Grimey7575: That dog would hate to see West Virginia
11/25/2007 6:41:37 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog was a fan of Jeff Foxworthy show, and wondered why it was canceled
11/25/2007 6:41:39 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog thinks rap is noise.
11/25/2007 6:41:48 PM Grimey7575: That dog thought there were too many black people on Friends
11/25/2007 6:42:11 PM GamecockTX: that dog loves duke and gonzaga
11/25/2007 6:42:33 PM Warthen: that dog has no sympathy for Darfur--doesn't think we 'can be the world's police'
11/25/2007 6:42:38 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog thinks that Mel Gibson is a wonderful actor and an even better person
11/25/2007 6:42:42 PM Harris: That dog's favorite is Condi Rice.
11/25/2007 6:43:01 PM OopsPowSurprise: That dog was pissed when the OJ Simpson verdict came in
11/25/2007 6:43:02 PM VolunteerValtrex: That dog adopted John Rocker from the pound
11/25/2007 6:43:04 PM NativeSon: That dog prefers his rice white, thank you very much.
11/25/2007 6:44:27 PM BurritoBrosShits: the dog isnt sure what you're talkiung about
11/25/2007 6:44:52 PM Harris: The dog is now gunning for Kanu
11/25/2007 6:45:05 PM OrsonSwindle: That guy is throwing bananas at Polish football players
11/25/2007 6:45:14 PM OrsonSwindle: dog. guy . whatever
11/25/2007 6:45:19 PM Harris: That dog hates Jews and Farrakhan, so he's torn
11/25/2007 6:45:43 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog loves him some click clack
11/25/2007 6:45:50 PM Grimey7575: That dog told you that boy could play
11/25/2007 6:45:58 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog doesn't like athletic quarterbacks
11/25/2007 6:46:08 PM Harris: That dog thinks the Gamecocks lost because of the all-black uniforms
11/25/2007 6:46:19 PM NativeSon: The dog like Tebow, though. There's just something about him.
11/25/2007 6:46:33 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog hates roulette because he can only bet on half of the board
11/25/2007 6:46:36 PM BurritoBrosShits: Is the dog a Peter King fan? discuss
11/25/2007 6:46:50 PM Harris: That dog thinks Ran Tarkenton was the NFL's greatest running QB.
11/25/2007 6:46:55 PM MissManticore: Sure, because Peter King only fellates white QBs.
11/25/2007 6:47:13 PM WrstCFBFanNTheUnivrs: And Starbucks Vente Lattes, Ms. Manticore
11/25/2007 6:47:15 PM JackFu: that dog doesn't understand why this video is funny
11/25/2007 6:47:16 PM JackFu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cV4F...
11/25/2007 6:47:18 PM Sparkyjbd: that dog thought craig james was the heart and soul of the pony express
11/25/2007 6:47:27 PM Harris: That dog can't stand Passenger 57
11/25/2007 6:47:33 PM MissManticore: Um, hello? Lattes, making the coffee more WHITE?
11/25/2007 6:47:34 PM MissManticore: Do the math.
11/25/2007 6:47:35 PM HokieAndrew: This Hokie supports the Seminoles not knowing what the fuck they're doing.
11/25/2007 6:47:35 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog thinks that Bobby Bowden needs more control over his team
11/25/2007 6:47:43 PM Warthen: That dog was hoping that Oral Roberts would make a big run in the tournament last year
11/25/2007 6:47:45 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog thinks Mormons have the right idea.
11/25/2007 6:48:21 PM Harris: That dog loves billiards: The white ball knocks all the colored balls off the table.
11/25/2007 6:48:42 PM Warthen: needless to say that dog still uses the term 'colered'
11/25/2007 6:49:18 PM Grimey7575: That dog loves horror movies
11/25/2007 6:49:21 PM JackFu: that dog planned operation: human shield
11/25/2007 6:49:28 PM Warthen: that dog hasn't watched an NBA game in years
11/25/2007 6:49:32 PM Harris: That dog thinks Trent Lott is just misunderstood
11/25/2007 6:49:40 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog named his dog Trent Lott.
11/25/2007 6:50:32 PM Harris: That dog thinks players look faster in white cleats
11/25/2007 6:50:55 PM JackFu: that dog thought laettner would make a better pro than shaq
11/25/2007 6:51:17 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog loves curling
11/25/2007 6:51:18 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog cries when he listens to the "Night they drove old dixie down"
11/25/2007 6:51:42 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog thinks "Save the Last Dance" is a horrorfilm
11/25/2007 6:51:50 PM Harris: That dog thinks those four littel girls were asking for it.
11/25/2007 6:52:20 PM Harris: Hey, man. That dog is hardcore.
11/25/2007 6:52:23 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog;s ring tone is dixie
11/25/2007 6:52:49 PM Warthen: that dog was very interested in the Natalie Halloway, Laci Peterson, and Jean Benet Ramsey cases
11/25/2007 6:52:54 PM BurritoBrosShits: the dog doesnt understnad soccer
11/25/2007 6:53:05 PM Harris: That dog isn't wrong about every thing, jakldawg.
11/25/2007 6:53:17 PM JackFu: that dog thinks "the wire"'s best season is season 2
11/25/2007 6:53:28 PM OrsonSwindle: That dog loves Jay-Z. He can't help it, he just does.
11/25/2007 6:53:39 PM Grimey7575: And Wu-Tang Clan
11/25/2007 6:53:41 PM Warthen: that dog thinks Nancy Grace would crack all of those cases
11/25/2007 6:53:58 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog thinks The Colbert Report isnt a joke
11/25/2007 6:53:59 PM NativeSon: That dog feels JayZ has the flow, but will not talk about it.
11/25/2007 6:54:20 PM JackFu: that dog thinks you should act like you've been there before
11/25/2007 6:54:25 PM Harris: That dog thinks James Earl Ray was framed
11/25/2007 6:54:40 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog does turn off the tV when Cowboy Troy starts rapping
11/25/2007 6:54:40 PM NativeSon: That dog loves the Daves from LFSports.
11/25/2007 6:55:57 PM Grimey7575: Georgia in the Rose Bowl is like that dog at the BET awards
11/25/2007 6:56:30 PM Harris: That dog thinks Leaf should start over Dixon
11/25/2007 6:56:40 PM JackFu: that dog talked constantly about redick and morrison
11/25/2007 6:56:46 PM Grimey7575: Come on Harris, that dog is racist, not stupid
11/25/2007 6:57:18 PM Harris: That dog never trusted Grant HIll
11/25/2007 6:57:35 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog is a big Sam Bowie fan
11/25/2007 6:58:04 PM NativeSon: That dog likes to spoon with Stafford.
11/25/2007 6:58:37 PM BurritoBrosShits: the dog chalks gayness to genetics
11/25/2007 6:58:57 PM Harris: That dog thinks Leno is hysterical, but Chris Rock needs to work on his timing.
11/25/2007 6:58:58 PM Sparkyjbd: bbs, no that dog thinks it's a choice
11/25/2007 6:59:13 PM JackFu: that dog thought the duke brothers were the heroes of "trading places"
11/25/2007 7:00:13 PM Harris: That dog is hunting the Black Crusaders
11/25/2007 7:00:46 PM Warthen: that dog will not spend more than 50 bucks on 'tennis shoes'
11/25/2007 7:01:04 PM BurritoBrosShits: The dog wears brooks walkers
11/25/2007 7:01:11 PM Harris: That dog thinks Jeff George never got a fair shake.
11/25/2007 7:02:02 PM Harris: That dog blames D.C. traffic on Benjamin Banneker.