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Iowa Fans Need A Nap


Anybody who is referring to this season as "rock bottom" (and there's a lot of you idiots) either has a very short memory span or a penchant for exaggeration only matched by Dane Cook's mannerisms. 6-6. Wow. Boo-hoo. Fact is, this season is nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

First, if this is the worst possible scenario, what happens if Northwestern doesn't ignore Tyrell Sutton in the second half and doesn't let CJ Bacher run the Frightened Rabbit Spread? What if Michigan State doesn't fall asleep at halftime? What if Ron Zook doesn't coach like Ron Zook coaches? Fuck, what if Minnesota figures out a way to put one more touchdown on the board? If 6-6 is so terrible, what if any combination of those plausible scenarios plays out? Is it time to set off a nuke at the 50 at Kinnick?

Remember that Iowa spent decades without a single bowl bid. Decades without a winning season. During the turn of the 21st century, Iowa won seven games in three years. So now you expect me to take up a pitchfork and a torch because the Hawkeyes went .500? Sure, that's underwhelming, but are you out of your fucking mind?

Did this season suck? Yes, absolutely. Hawkeye fans expected more, especially with a schedule roughly as strong as Hawaii's. But this team was young, young, and young. And Young. Face it, when half your two-deep is filled with freshmen, your quarterback's a first-year starter, and the entire receiving corps goes down to injury or stupidity, things are going to go sour. It's a matter of fact these days.

I'm every bit as upset as the rest of the Hawkeye faithful that Iowa was 6-6 this season and lost to two very lousy teams in ISU and WMU. That's a level of performance that, if repeated once or twice more, will lead to Kirk Ferentz being shown the door. Sorry, but this won't cut it.

But the "rock bottom" bullshit is just that: bullshit. For crying out loud, Iowa missed a bowl for the first time in seven years. It's not the end of the fucking world. That's in Ames.