You're not going to believe this but the Buckeyes lost. I couldn't believe it either. I guess all of the whining, crying, and gnashing of crooked teeth didn't do you any good on the field, did it Buckeye fans? Fans that complain about a lack of "respect" and how they "deserve" a higher ranking anger the football gods and their teams always lose. This is science and therefore cannot be disputed (are you listening, Jayhawks?). Now learn from this lesson, handle your loss with a little diffidence, and beat Michigan. This was a "down year" for you guys and you'll still be in a BCS bowl, so get over yourselves.
Also, the sweatervest was conspicuous in it's absence.
This is a rough draft. If you think I ranked something incorrectly though ignorance or stupidity, this is the time to tell me. You have 48 hours to convince me to drop Hawaii even further.