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Keeping The Man Busy, Week 10

Here's why athletic directors are frowning this morning...

The whole system's out of order! Kind of!: Potentially ominous news is coming from the bastion of sanity that is Tuscaloosa, where the University of Alabama is widening its probe (LOL, says my inner 12-year-old) of misuse of the free textbook system. Players have allegedly been receiving extra copies of books (which are priced as if they're made of pure cocaine and unicorn semen), then giving them to others. Nick Saban, ever a voice of reason in an unreasonable world, condemned the players' blatant misuse of regulations and immediately dismiss---pffhahaha, what am I talking about? Nick Saban's crazy!

Head coach Nick Saban said Monday the players used "poor judgment" but that the university's textbook distribution system for athletes also failed the players.

"No one at the university wants me to say it, but it's true," Saban said in a speech to the Monday Morning Quarterback Club.

"We had some guys use poor judgment in how they did it," Saban said. "Now, the NCAA might see it as an extra benefit. We saw it, we reported it. But the system failed the players, too. If we call a bad play and it doesn't work, we're responsible."

Absolutely, Nick. There is nothing batshit crazy about what you're insinuating. If your players are fraudulatin' the system, then the system is to blame. While we appreciate the ...And Justice For All nod, we're not entirely sure that passing the blame on a scandal like this is entirely wise.

Actually, you know what? We're with Saban on this one. What these players are doing is basic economics, celebrated by the free world but demonized by the NCAA. Fuckin' commies.

In other news, OPS is arrested for plagiarism, acquitted upon linking to said article: UNC defensive tackle Andre Barbour was suspended from the team in the wake of an arrest for (what else) drug possession. The fuckin' man, man, busted Barbour for possession of up to half an ounce of marijuana, which is barely enough to get a party going. Past that, I've got absolutely nothing to add except this excerpt from the tastefully named

Andre's bio at indicates that "he won a campus wide cooking contest in 2006."  We're guessing his brownies were delicious.

Well played, sirs.