The horrifying shitshow of above-the-neck trauma continues unabated for the Iowa Hawkeyes, as Ken Iwebema will likely miss more than just the second half of the Purdue game:
Ferentz said Iwebema did not pass initial recovery tests Tuesday.
"We're keeping our fingers crossed that tomorrow morning he'll be able to do the bike test and lift," Ferentz said. "If he can do that, then he'll practice without contact on Wednesday. That's the best-case scenario. We're hoping to get him back."
Holy buttfucking virgin Mary that's not good. It's standard protocol to admit that injuries are part of the game and yeah yeah yeah, but think about what's been happening to the team this year in head injuries alone: Three starting defenders and a key reserve on the offensive line that you know we could use right now. A rundown and more are after the break.
- Alex Kanellis - concussion - out for career
- Mike Klinkenborg - concussion - out for four weeks
- Devan Moylan - concussion - out for at least one game, then he sprained his entire lower body
- Ken Iwebema - concussion - out for God only knows
- Ryan Bain - dumb enough to think he could get Ferentz to sign a written affadavit guaranteeing a starting spot - sweet merciful transfer
- Clint Huntrods - golden shower power hour - released from football team like so much urine from a staggeringly drunk man who's been walking for at least five minutes
- At least six other players - keeping The Man busy - suspensions from one week to one year
While I've got a Harty-esque lack of insight as to the goings-on of other teams, this seems wildly disproportionate for one team and just one year. Why Iowa? Why 2007? What would have changed over the last, let's say three years that would cause so many of the athletes to have such major brain meltdowns? Maybe something on the schedule...
Wait a minute... oh no...
BRAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSS!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAHH!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!