Z fadin out
I finally heard from the Zooker Monday afternoon. He was in quite a state.
The conversation:
3:43 PM
ZookHook: Greetings from theheartland!
3:44 PM
ZookHook: Nothin to be afraid of, Newsy, the Zooker aint in Iowa. You can come to tha door! I know ur duckin me. thizis seriusss!!1 WEE needta talk
Jebus: Hey, Z. Nice game on Saturday. You really did it right. Also, it's day time. On a Monday. What are you doing up?
ZookHook: GOTCHA!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!! ZOOKER iz soooooooo fuckkkked up! Weave been parteein sincee tha game!! That game wuz aweezome!! I knew we could do it! TEAM AMERICA! fUCK YEAH!
Jebus: You didn't "do it". You lost, Z. Iowa hadn't won a Big 10 game in a year. You really fucked up. People are pissed.
3:45 PM
ZookHook: I KNOWz it!! Im Free!! Free at LAST!! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
Jebus: ...
ZookHook: Gotcha, didnt' I? Know who sed that, Big Boy? OJ SIMPSON! PUT THAT IN UR WEBBLOG!
Jebus: Um, that was actually Martin Luther King Jr., Z. It's from the "I Have A Dream" speech.
ZookHook: "It's from Ihaveadream! I'm Newsy! I read history! I know everything!!!"
ZookHook: know thiz, Big BOy! The Zookerz off da chain! I be robodroned sinz halftime on the game day an i havent seen mi pantz since SUDNAY!! Zookerz be smellin everythin!! I smelled more HEAdz than Freddie Mercury!! SO
ZookHook: SUCK
ZookHook: ON
ZookHook: THAT!!!1
3:46 PM
Jebus: Cool. I got work to do. Later.
ZookHook: AW COMEON! Don leaf mee hangin.! Zooker gotta question?
Jebus: Fine... 1.
ZookHook: howmany games you gotta win fer abowl game?
Jebus: 6.
ZookHook: How manyz wegot now?
Jebus: 5.
ZookHook: FUUUUUCKKKK!!! SO WE gotta lose the resta dem?> Can we d o taht?
Jebus: I don't know, Z. You have Ball St and Minnesota back to back. You finish with Northwestern at home. Tough call. I think you're going bowling. Just keep starting Juice and you might be able to do it.
ZookHook: FUkkk!! Zooker hate werkin in Desember! IT RUINZ me CHirstmas!@
3:47 PM
ZookHook: If i losee the resta thessse games... can i get fired? this year? Zookerz worrreed. Ineeda cupple yearz off. FUCK NEWSY!! UR killin mah buzz!!!!
Jebus: I don't think so. You have 2 years left on your deal.
ZookHook: DONT YEW TELL THE ZOOKER NO! MARK MY WORDSZ! I"m gettin fiyerd! WATCH MEE!!!!
ZookHook: WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! PINK SLIPZ ALL AROUND!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!
That was the conclusion of my chat with Ron Zook yesterday. Once he gets like that, I just shut down the pc and leave it off for awhile. The minute I logged into IM today, I was greeted with this:
ZookHook: FUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
Jebus: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!
Jebus: "ZookHook: DONT YEW TELL THE ZOOKER NO! MARK MY WORDSZ! I"m gettin fiyerd! WATCH MEE!!!!"
Jebus: AAAAAHAHAHHAHAAA!!!!!
Leader. Teacher. Recruiter. Winner. Midget Tosser.
See you next year, Z.