minnesota-sucks-so-much Stories - Black Heart Gold Pants
The Takeaway: Minnesota
We'll miss this shithole. Sure, Iowa just downed the Gophers, 55-0. Which was awesome. But how much do we really know? What was really important about beating Minnesota? What does it all mean, Basil? The Takeaway has the answer. It's not who hits first, it's who hits hardest. You know how in...
Great Moments in Gopher Football: EPIC FAIL RIGHT
Throughout HATE WEEK, we'll be looking back at some of the memorable moments in Gopher football history. Because all teams have moments of ineptitude, but few have so many widely available on Youtube. October 28, 2000: Minnesota entered the 2000 Northwestern game at 5-3, having become the only...
Great Moments in Gopher Football: Blocked, Quite Believably
Throughout HATE WEEK, we'll be looking back at some of the memorable moments in Gopher football history. Because all teams have moments of ineptitude, but few have so many widely available on Youtube. October 15, 2005: Minnesota returns to the Metrodome 5-1 after splitting road dates with Penn...
Great Moments in Gopher Football: Jamal Harris Loses It
Throughout HATE WEEK, we'll be looking back at some of the memorable moments in Gopher football history. Because all teams have moments of ineptitude, but few have so many widely available on Youtube. September 22, 2007: A 1-2 Gopher team, reeling from a 3-point loss to the Florida Atlantic...
Great Moments in Minnesota Football History: Losing As Art
Throughout HATE WEEK, we'll be looking back at some of the memorable moments in Gopher football history. Because all teams have moments of ineptitude, but few have so many widely available on Youtube. December 29, 2006: In the history of the NCAA, there have been 832* bowl games played. The...
The Takeaway: Purdue
Sure, Iowa just downed the Boilermakers, 22-17. But how much do we really know? What was really important about beating Purdue? What does it all mean, Basil? The Takeaway has the answer. "Tell Duong's mom I said hi." Shonn is gonn. It's not confirmed, obviously, otherwise it'd be all over the...
WELCOME TO HATE WEEK
I hate Minnesota. I hate their dimwitted coach, a man whose countenance in close games could best be described as "Tice-like," a man who is so completely overwhelmed and outmatched by his current situation that it borders on comical. Tim Brewster knows how to talk in that motivational dialect...
Wha Happened? Week Eleven
Let's start right out: Hey, wha happened? Ohio State 45 - Northwestern 10 Northwestern is banged up. Ohio State is Ohio State. That's probably good for 28 points. But that last touchdown? That was unnecessary showboating, you jackasses. Northwestern clearly set themselves to limiting the...
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