bloodpunch Stories - Black Heart Gold Pants
It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It: Gary Barta Has Some Answers
Iowa's Athletic Director Gary Barta met with members of the media yesterday and took questions on the open coaching positions, Mika'il McCall and the Big Ten's playoff proposal. Barta says next week is when interviews begin for Iowa's openings on the football coaching staff. The lone opening on the...
Gary Barta and Kirk Ferentz Find a Time Capsule
Gary Barta's office, in an empty Carver Hawkeye Arena Secretary! Yes sir? Call Kirk Ferentz and get him over here immediately. I have something to show him. Yes sir. Also, can I please have Thursday off? I think I might get picked in the NBA Draft. Absolutely. Half an hour...
The Purdue Coaching Search: OMHR Makes The Call
[EDIT: Yeah, so this happened and as a result what follows may lack a little truthiness. Just pretend it's from an alternate reality where things happened differently.] [SCENE: The barren wasteland of the American Southwest, better known as... New Mexico.] BRRING BRRING "partyin' partyin'...
MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 2: GARY BARTA VS. DINOSAUR RACECARS
HOT, SWEATY SEMIFINAL ACTION. GET SOME. THE #1 SEED: BLOODPUNCH BARTA Round 1: Defeated Gila Ben, 469-72 THE #5 SEED: DINOSAUR RACECARS Round 1: Defeated Brennan Cougill 563-247 Well, we've got ourselves quite a contest today. Bloodpunch, Dinosaur Racecars, I assume you all recognize the...
MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: BLOODPUNCH VS. GILA BEN
THE #1 SEED: BLOODPUNCH What did you do? Punkin' ain't easy -- oh wait, yes it is when the victim is Jamie Pollard. Bloodpunch pretended to be Jim Delany during EXPANSIONPALOOZA. Then he was the NCAA. Then he got Iowa State into a bowl game. Then he was Gene Chizik. He also found time to...
Jamie Pollard Finds ISU a Bowl Game
RING RING RING Hello? Jacobsen Athletic Building, tire center, and Carhartt factory outlet. Jamie Pollard's office. grumble grumble grumble No, Mr. Pollard's not available. He's busy right now teaching Fred Hoiberg how to make shadow puppets. grumble grumble grumble Oh really? A bowl...
MARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS: THOU FIRST ROUND IS OVERETH OR SOMETHING
Round one is completely in the books. No upsets, which displeases us mightily. Sort of. Actually, no it doesn't, because we really weren't prepared to have Jamie Pollard in the finals or anything. Next week, obviously, will consist of the "Elite Quarterfinals" from Monday through Thursday;...
MARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 1: GARY BARTA VS. JAMIE POLLARD
GMX! THIS IS NOT A GAME! THIS SHIT HERE IS REAL! ARF ARF ARF BOB ZOOK REGION, SEED #3: GARY "BLOODPUNCH" BARTA PROS: Runs the ass-blastinest sports program in the nation Will do what it takes to get an apology over the John Lickliter thing Had some fun at Jamie Pollard's expense Demands...
When Bloodpunch Asks For An Apology, Bloodpunch Gets A Damn Apology
G GOT A GLOCK AND PAAAOOWWW, YOUR BODY IS ALL OVER THE BLOCK Well, well. WHO takes a cheap shot at my coach's boy. I ask for an apology. What do those ratdicked assweasels do? Stand by their beliefs. Well, that's just interesting, because I'm standing by "Barta's Buddies." They're hundreds of...
It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Demands An Apology... And Another Point Guard
Did you think that John Lickliter video was fucked up? Guess who else did: If you were hoping for some justification for your indignation at that weird John Lickliter spoof video thing, good news: Gary Barta's on your side. The athletic director said this: "I’m going to stand on my feeling...
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