Rumors had been flying all week that Tony Freeman--you know, that guy that led Iowa in scoring in eight of his twenty games played--was on his way out. The UI made it official tonight, announcing that Freeman will be released from his scholarship. He'll be completing his collegiate career elsewhere, the story says, and we're anxiously awaiting word on where that'll be. High-major school? Possible, but it's doubtful he'd start; why transfer out of a sure starting role for your senior season just to sit out for a year, then play 10 minutes a game at Marquette or some shit? Mid-major, most likely, but Freeman cannot actually think that playing at IUPUI will be better than at Iowa. C'mon.

The transfer rumors had begun earlier this week, after an assistant told the Linn County I-Club that the captains for the 2008-2009 season were Cyrus Tate and Jarryd Cole. Two guys who play the same position, and one guy who is much younger than Freeman. Freeman gave some tepid answers when pressed for comment, then said he "should be" at Iowa next year, which is code for "peace bitches." Nice work by Randy Peterson, marking the first time since the Big Peach era that Register sportswriting has been noteworthy. In a positive sense, anyway.

We'll sort of miss Freeman. Well, Jebus won't. And I probably won't. And HS probably won't. So let me amend my previous statement: Thank you for spending all of last season knocking down three-pointers when Iowa was hopelessly behind, Freeman. Your ability to create massive amounts of turnovers from thin air (The stats say 71, creating a "perfect 1:1" A/T ratio, but we could swear he coughed it up roughly 14 times per game) was at once astonishing and maddening. Also, we're pretty sure you were the reason Todd Lickliter did this all the time:

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, or failing that, a failsafe place to hide Tony Freeman's body.

Soooo, here's your depth chart for next season:

C: Jarryd Cole (Soph., 6'7", 250), Andrew Brommer (Fr., 6'9", 215)
PF: Cyrus Tate (Sr., 6'8", 240)
SF: Matt Gatens (Fr., 6'5", 201), Aaron Fuller (Fr., 6'7", 185), Jermain Davis (Jr., 6'4", 200)
SG: Jake Kelly (Soph., 6'6", 180), Devan Bawinkel (Jr., 6'5", 205)
PG: Jeff Peterson (So., 6'0", 185), Anthony Tucker (Fr., 6'4", 175)

The wild card is incoming recruit Anthony Tucker, who will probably be pressed into duty at the point. You can judge for yourself if you think he's capable of doing so by watching this highlight reel from Rivals, but we're not terribly optimistic. His jumper is outstanding, but you can't seriously watch that and tell us he's capable of consistently facing a press at the BXI level. No way.

But we digress. Tony Freeman, going the way of the dirigible and Dan Bohall. Godspeed, you offense-wrecking lunatic. We'll always have our below-average photoshops of you.

We don't even remember what prompted this.

Last, no word on if Skynyrd will be crafting a tribute song, though we're not optimistic. And this man you cannot change.

I'm running all the way to Iowa City! High five!

We're not much into research at the BHGP sports desk [Wow. No shit. Fooled me. --ed], so we're a bit dismayed that we can't actually verify that something like this--one team taking two quarterbacks from a conference opponent--is unprecedented. Nonetheless, Michigan's overtall, undermature freshman quarterback Ryan Mallett is transferring, to Rich Rodriguez's total lack of chagrin.

Mallett's departure is not altogether surprising; programs often see elevated amounts of attrition during coaching turnovers, and the lanky QB is hardly a fit for Rodriguez's spread-read-ninja-option offense. Mallett's also not the only quarterback to leave Michigan thus far. As you may recall, Iowa snagged QB John Wienke from the Wolverines last month; Wienke became the third quarterback to verbal in this class.

So why not four? What do you say, Mallett? Sure, there's a glut of warm bodies at the position, and sure you'd probably spend at least a season learning from someone whose brain and arm rarely communicate, but hear me out. You'd be helping Iowa create a new program identity. If we can't be the Bullies of the Big Ten, we can at least be the conference's dumpster divers. It starts with you.

[OPS has been drinking since 11 a.m. Mallett's not coming to Iowa. --ed]

The fuck he's not! They're all transferring over here! Even the Mario Mannerhams!

[Let's get you home, big guy. You've had a long day. --ed]