You know that awesome Steven Seagal movie, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory?

HELL YES.

The one about where there's a train in the mountains and you couldn't talk on the radio with anyone for a while because of the terrain blocking the radio waves and so they call that area the Dark Territory or something? You know the one I'm talking about? The one where there's terrorists (white guys, mind you, this is before 9/11 changed everything) who are going to blow up a nuke in Denver or something? And then Seagal's character is on the train with his hot daughter and he kicks the hell out of everybody and he does that weird double cross-chop thing? I don't want to spoil the ending, but he wins. Anyway, that's sort of where I am these days. Between a new job where if you use the internet, you DIE and the usual waiting game from Qwest when you move, the only way I can use Googles and internets is A: on one of these bad boys, which is every bit as shootmeinthefacefuckingkillme as you would imagine, or B: here at the library. I think the IT department is wondering why I haven't logged onto myspace or hotmail yet; EVERYONE is on one of the two sites here.

NOW DIE

Anyhoo, pardon the silence around BHGP* until the new headquarters is up and running. It will feature absolutely nothing new, so don't you worry your pretty little head about anything positive coming out of this period of radio silence. In the meantime, just to tide you fuckers over, a story that has absolutely nothing to do with Iowa sports after the break.

(keep reading...)

*Yes, there are technically two other bloggers here; Hawkeye State will probably continue to post roughly twice a week, and as near as we can tell Jebus is sailing through Africa and looking for Col. Kurtz. Best of luck to him on that front.