J LEMAN SAVES THE WORLD, PART 1
Scene: Los Angeles airport. The USA basketball team boards a private jet to go to Beijing. A security guard takes count. All right, Kobe's here... morning, Dwight... and that's Lebron in back. Good. ...
Because Kirk Motherf--king Ferentz Said Rose Bowl, That's Why
So it's media day. Time for you jackals and mongrels to fight over the rancid table scraps of information we've carefully selected for you. What a joy this must be for you. This is the part where I g...
The 2007 Iowa Football Team Finds A Severed Head
Dude. C'mere. Check this out. Serious, c'mere right now. It's over by the 10 yard line. You're gonna freak out. AWWWW GROSSSSSS!!! Hahahahahahahaha! Where'd you find that??! It was literally just si...
A Letter From Joe Tiller
Dear Philadelphia Cream Cheese, Hey. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your product. For the Tiller family's money, there's nothing like cracking open the foil around a new package o...
The JoePa Chronicles: Kirk Ferentz Visits Penn State
Right this way, Mr. Ferentz, Mr. Barta. This is the Lasch Football Building, where we have our training rooms, practice facilities, and coaching offices. Coaching offices? Yes sir, the entire sta...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Gets Ready for Election Coverage
SECRETARY SECRETARY (don't let him do this. you have a Master's in communication.) PARDON ME SECRETARY (don't let him call you "Secretary." that's not even your job title.) EXCUSE ME (b...
Brennan Carroll: Office Special Teams Coach
In case you don't get the reference, and really, nobody does Morning, Ruth. Morning, Josh.Goooood morning, Sherri.How bout this weather! Ha, ha! No kidding, where was this in March?!Whoo. 8:15 is t...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Meets Terrelle Pryor
GOOD MORNING SECRETARY, LOVELY DAY TODAY It's 4 in the afternoon. IT'S ALWAYS MORNING SOMEWHERE, THAT'S MY MOTTO, YOU'D BE WISE TO LEARN IT Oh, sort of a way to approach life from an optimistic...
Major Discovery
First known photo of Jake Christensen found.
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Meets Bill Cowher
(Parts 1, 2, 3) BOY, TIME TO HIT THE ROAD. IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY Have a good evening, Mr. Paterno. May I go home yet? HAVE YOU BOOKED MY RECRUITING FLIGHT YET Sir. For the thousandth time, yo...
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