The JoePa Chronicles: JoePa Writes Another Programming Note
HELLO AGAIN INTERNET, THIS IS MR. PATERNO, THANK YOU THAT NO-GOOD LAZY SPANIARD OOPS POW SURPRISE HAS ASKED ME TO WRITE TO YOU ABOUT HIS GOINGS-ON ELSEWHERE HE SAID HE WOULD DO THIS HIM...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Gets Ready for Election Coverage
SECRETARY SECRETARY (don't let him do this. you have a Master's in communication.) PARDON ME SECRETARY (don't let him call you "Secretary." that's not even your job title.) EXCUSE ME (b...
BHGP BRACKET MADNESS: THE LAST FOUR
There's got to be a catchier name for the semifinals than "Last Four." Just can't think of one. Today: BRAAAAAAINS vs. brawn! JOE PATERNO PROS: Met Fergie, listened to Fergie, contemplated his grand...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Meets Terrelle Pryor
GOOD MORNING SECRETARY, LOVELY DAY TODAY It's 4 in the afternoon. IT'S ALWAYS MORNING SOMEWHERE, THAT'S MY MOTTO, YOU'D BE WISE TO LEARN IT Oh, sort of a way to approach life from an optimistic...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Meets Bill Cowher
(Parts 1, 2, 3) BOY, TIME TO HIT THE ROAD. IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY Have a good evening, Mr. Paterno. May I go home yet? HAVE YOU BOOKED MY RECRUITING FLIGHT YET Sir. For the thousandth time, yo...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Loses a Bet
(Parts 1, 2.) SO I SAID FINE, WE'LL DRIVE OUR WIDE RECEIVERS OUT TO THE FOOTHILLS AND STRAND THEM, AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DID Uh huh. WE NEVER DID SEE TERRY SMITH AGAIN Sir, if you don't ...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Can't Get A Song Out Of His Head
(Part 1 is here.) F E R G A Sir. L I SIR! WHAT You're singing again. OH GOD DAMN IT. I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE ME LISTEN TO ANY OF THAT SHE-MAN PROSTITUTE'S MUSIC Well, her song...
The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Meets Fergie
As mentioned below, in the Gridiron Bash promotion that's bringing Kelly Clarkson to Iowa, Penn State will be graced with Fergie's presence. One commenter pondered what would happen if Joe Paterno wer...