Iowa receiver James Cleveland and backup quarterback Arvell Nelson have been dismissed from the team, coach Kirk Ferentz said Thursday.
Both were arrested on drug charges last month and had been suspended indefinitely.
"It’s disappointing anytime one of our players doesn’t complete his career with our team and go on to earn their degree from Iowa," Ferentz said. "That being said, we wish both James and Arvell success in the future."
The dismissals are hardly shocking; Nelson was allegedly caught red-handed with pot, and Cleveland is facing honest-to-goodness jail time (and that's not even mentioning the implications of last week's DMR report on the Douglas/Bowman affair). More interesting, however, is the apparent end of CBI at Iowa. Nelson and Cleveland are now gone, Douglas is literally eating money, and Bowman is not listed on the current roster. I think we all know what that means...
The Des Moines Register published some additional details from the August '07 arrest of Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman, and, well, they don't look too pleasant:
Search warrant documents recently unsealed and obtained by The Des Moines Register from the Johnson County Courthouse indicated the credit cards, belonging to students Abraham Tekippe and Michael Nelson, were used after the students reported their wallets stolen from N115 Hillcrest and C128 Hillcrest, respectively.
[...]
Tekippe later reported that by 8:30 a.m. the next day [May 9, 2007], more than $2,000 worth of transactions had been attempted on his credit cards. Among the attempted purchases were baseball caps and a pair of $490 shoes, with Bowman's dorm room listed as the shipping address.
Most of the purchases were denied on the basis of the credit cards being listed as stolen.
Tekippe also reported the purchases had taken place over the Internet and two orders had been placed with Sneakerhead.com for Bowman and Douglas, using Bowman's e-mail address.
[...]
Bowman confessed during questioning to buying the merchandise using the stolen cards despite initially denying it, Poole said. Douglas continued to deny he had participated in the use of the cards and asked to see a lawyer.
Poole said Douglas had listed Cleveland, who is to appear for his preliminary hearing on the drug charges March 14, as having "access to Douglas' user name and password during the time unauthorized purchases were made online."
Ouch. Also, the story notes that Bowman is no longer listed on the team roster. Sure enough. We don't remember any formal announcement that Bowman is off the team, but there's been scuttlebutt to that effect for days now, so maybe it's in Bowman's best interests to go about that as quietly as possible. Fine. Whatever. Ta-ta.
Also, Cleveland looks like far more of an active participant than originally thought. Nothing here seems rock solid proof of wrongdoing against him, just guilt by association, but this evidence, coupled with the drug arrest, means we have definitely seen the last of him in a Hawkeye uniform. So it goes.
But there's an even more troubling update, and one you should probably sit down for. As you're probably aware, Dominique Douglas' gang is called CBI, or City Boyz Inc. Make sure you get the spelling exactly right, because accuracy is key here.
We say that because if you just switch one letter, let's say... the Y in "City" to an I, you get "Citi Boyz." And uh... that name's taken. By a gay pornography company.[While the link is technically safe for work and there are no depictions or simulations of relations on the page, we really, really don't recommend clicking it.--ed]
Now, look. Beyond the standard NTTAWWT, we don't mean any disrespect to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. Demeaning someone for who they're sexually attracted to is only acceptable if they're chubby chasers. But as Norm MacDonald put it, "there's nothing wrong with being gay--unless you're not gay, then it's like the worst thing in the world." That, of course, goes triple for jocks; go into a locker room sometime and accuse someone of being gay. See how well it goes over. So with that in mind, CBI may need to undergo, uh, significant re-branding. At the very least, go the KFC route and stick with the acronym only. Heck, in KFC's case, it's even more warranted: We'd much rather be associated with homosexuality than with the state of Kentucky.
Sadly, this is not a repeat. Mr. CBI himself is back on the internets, taking pictures with large sums of cash for some reason, and as Pants Pal Eric Page puts it, "that ain't Pell Grant money." Observe:
Fat stacks on his face...
...on his head...
...and in his mouth. Okay then.
It's probably safe to say that he's not particularly interested in playing football ever again, because he has better things to do, like... wear his money like a hat (but he already has a hat on. Oh, I quit.)
That lunacy aside, there's actually something worth noting in the article: the strange tale of Abe Satterfield. He was a lightly recruited kid from Erie, only two stars, but he was offered early enough that the coaching staff must have seen something they liked. He saw light playing time as a true freshman, usually on special teams, and was suspended indefinitely with Cedric Everson before the Michigan State team. Later, he was named by the Des Moines Register as one of three players that police investigated in the sexual assault case. Of the three, Everson and Satterfield both transferred after the semester, and you kind of know how we feel about Jevon Pugh, the third implicated student-athlete, already.
So, according to the article, Satterfield found his way to Indiana University of Pennylvania (which, somehow, is located in the mountains of Nepal). The coach there, former Illinois whipping boy leader Lou Tepper, had this to say about Satterfield:
"I said, 'Would you take him back if you could?' Tepper told the Indiana Gazette. "And they said, 'Absolutely.' They told me that he might have started for them next year at corner. They were all high on him. He seems like a great kid."
Page then muses:
Hmmm... what does that tell you about Satterfield’s decision to transfer, which I think we all assumed at the time was strongly encouraged if not demanded by the coaching staff? The fact that Tepper asked, "Would you take him back if you could?" and they said, "Absolutely"... that either means the decision to leave was totally Satterfield’s or that his dismissal was based on public perception. Did the coaching staff want to keep Satterfield around but couldn’t because his name had been mentioned in the same sentence as rape and with the year they’ve had it would have been a PR nightmare? Or did Satterfield leave town because he had already been found guilty in the court of public opinion? It’s interesting...
All plausible scenarios, to be sure. Let me throw this out there, too--we don't know why they couldn't take Satterfield back. For one, it's probably better that such information wasn't made public, just for the kid's sake. Nobody's been charged with anything, after all. But in light of the fact that he and Everson were both suspended immediately and effectively permanently, don't you think it's possible that Iowa couldn't take Satterfield back because of his misconduct? That although there wasn't enough evidence to charge him with sexual assault, the coaching staff knew that he had screwed up badly enough that team rules dictated that he'd be off the team? Also, isn't it wholly plausible that Ferentz wasn't being completely truthful with Tepper? It'd be an awfully dick move to tell the kid's new coach, "fuck no we don't want him back, good luck, peace." Satterfield and Everson are off the team and off campus (Everson transferred to Alcorn State), so that's essentially the end of what Kirk Ferentz needs to worry about, right? Why kick them when they're down?
Anyway. Good that they're neither here nor in prison. And I sincerely hope that this is the last time we ever hear bad news about them. There's no behavior that's more abhorrent or appalling than violence against women, but these two have a second chance, one most don't get, to start acting like real men. We sincerely hope they take it. As for Dominique... well, that deferred judgment's probably going to get un-deferred in the near future. That's a shame.
Welcome to 2008, readers. From an athletic standpoint, 2007 sucked so hard that it took the last three months of '06 with it. There was scant good news, a metric shitload of bad news, and a horror show of a basketball season that's only getting worse.
Non-binding resolutions: they're not just for the Senate!
So in the spirit of the holiday, we'll be considering what we're looking forward to in 2008, and hearing from some old familiar faces as well.
Hawkeye State
Start eating better
Buy a new car
Take more road trips to Hawkeye away games
Renovate the main bathroom
Join Rockapella, search for Carmen Sandiego
Oops Pow Surprise
Stay in close touch with my family
Get a promotion at work
Visit Europe again, spend more than one day in Brussels
Find Jesus Christ*
JHC
Shower every day
Write every day
Do a triathlon
Get a book published
Learn to juggle bowling balls
Kirk Ferentz
Recruit kids who will not create their own gang
Cut down on the gum
Talk like a person and not a computerized help line
Jake Christensen
Knock a tenth of a second off my 40 time
Throw with my eyes open
Make Coach O'Keefe cut it out with the Good Games while I am in the shower
Learn receivers' names
Todd Lickliter
Stop referring to Seth Gorney as "The Mongoloid" to assistant coaches and my family
Review pros and cons of spending rest of season in drunken stupor
Get Barta to take Drake off next five schedules
Emotionally separate self from Butler job, no matter how far up the Top 25 the Dawgs get
Resident troublemaker Dominique Douglas is back in the news, as he has just agreed to a plea deal in the Douglas/Bowman Affair. Details are as follows (all emphasis mine):
Suspended Iowa football player Dominique Douglas on Tuesday pleaded guilty to credit card fraud and was ordered to play $223.53 in restitution to the victim of a May 8 incident in which Douglas used a stolen credit card to make online purchases from Hat World.
Barry and Levon approve of $223... worth of hats. Awwww yeah.
Douglas, a sophomore receiver from Detroit who has been serving an indefinite suspension since being arrested Aug. 19, entered a written plea of guilty in Johnson County Court, an agreement that reduced the charge against him from a Class D felony to an aggravated misdemeanor.
This is, of course, much more in line with the nature of the offense than the original $750-$7500 in fees and five years in prison.
Douglas, 19, who was scheduled to go to trial Monday, was granted a deferred judgment, which means if he abides by certain unspecified conditions for an undisclosed period of time, the guilty plea will be withdrawn and he will avoid sentencing. If he fails to meet expectations, he faces up to two years in prison and between $625 and $6,250 in fines.
I know what you're thinking: The guy already fucked up again, he's in trouble for swiping the Air Bud trilogy! Aha. He already pled guilty and was fined 100 dollars. (He probably paid by credit card. --Buddy Light*). The deferred judgment will start once his plea deal is accepted. BA-ZANG! Dougie Fresh is BACK, bitches! All he has to do is stay out of trouble for 24 months here in Iowa City, and...
This is money. It is not in a bank where it should be.
That is why I am not smiling.
Oh, Dominique. When will you learn?
The suspended Iowa receiver and Facebook Hero was arrested this morning on 5th degree theft charges stemming from an October 11 incident where he was observed on Wal-Mart security cameras stealing three DVD's hidden under his shirt. How did they know it was him, you ask? Well, Douglas certainly made the police's job easier when he earlier signed for and received a money order. With his name on it. At the Wal-Mart service desk.
Once again, because it does bear repeating: He told the store who he was, left a paper trail, shoved three DVD's under his shirt, and walked out.
It's almost tempting to presume that Douglas has a pathological need to be arrested; this is twice now that he has (allegedly, innocent until proven guilty, etc. etc.) left behind brutally obvious evidence in committing a crime.
So, readers, we're searching for the important answers here. Three DVD's for $30? They can't possibly have been any good, right? What do you suppose those three movies were? Leave your guesses in the comments below. The winner will have his credit card stolen and used to purchase hats at a later date.
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