Ocean's 15
Much hullabaloo has been made about the 15 players who have left the team since the start of 2007, but when we looked at the list, there were a few names that made us say, "uh... what?" Let's look at that list and discuss what it actually means for the football team. We'll use the BIGDEALOMETER (tm) to measure how much you should care about each departure. The BIGDEALOMETER (tm) measures the impact of events on a revolutionary 0-10 scale, where 0 represents complete insignificance and 10 is the world exploding. Shall we? Yes, we shall.
- Richie Amendola, jr., OL, Corallville - unknown: Who? Was he even on scholarship? 0/10
- Nyere Aumaitre, sr., OL, Camden, N.J. - unknown: To be perfectly honest, I thought he'd left the program in 2005. 0/10
- Anthony Bowman, so., WR, Detroit - transfer: CBI, bitch. Never on the 2-deeps. 2/10
- Nick Brayton, so., DL, Iowa City - unknown: Another walkon. 0/10
- Dana Brown, jr., RB, Clairton, Pa. - dismissed: Spent most of his time in Iowa City in trouble, and that's before he beat his girlfriend. Nonetheless, Iowa could use some tailbacks. 4/10
- James Cleveland, so., WR, Baytown, Texas - dismissed: CBI, bitch. Always sad to see a dealer go. 6/10
- Dominique Douglas, so., WR, Detroit - transfer: CBI, bitch. Started as a freshman, then embarked on a quest to break every single law ever. Will probably go down as the most prolific sower of discord for Hawkeye athletics since Hunter Rawlings.7/10
- Rashad Dunn, sr., DL, Evans, Ga. - unknown: Who? What? 0/10
- Cedric Everson, so., DB, Detroit - transfer: Amari Spievey's return softens the blow of losing Everson and Satterfield, who quite improbably weren't known members of CBI. Still, losing young corners sucks hard. 6/10
- Adam Farnsworth, sr., QB, North Ogden, Utah - transfer: We're nearly certain the Pr0fess0r wasn't even on scholarship. 0/10
- Alex Kanellis, sr., OL, Iowa City - injury: Make no mistake, losing him and Bruggeman before the season hurt. The two couldn't have possibly been worse than Meade and Vandervelde. 6/10
- Grant McCracken, sr., DE, Ankeny - unknown: Pretty sure he wasn't even on the 2-deeps. Like, ever. 0/10
- Devan Moylan, sr., DB, Panora, Iowa - injury: Okay, he was on the team for five years and took up a scholarship for one of them. It's a bit disingenuous to say he's leaving the program "early." 2/10
- Arvell Nelson, so., QB, Cleveland, Ohio - dismissed: CBI, bitch. Wouldn't have been in the running to contribute at QB anyway. 2/10
- Jevon Pugh, fr., RB, Winterhaven, Fla. - unknown: What was it, Jevon? Was it the cruelly unrelenting winter? The lack of public support from the coach?
The love letters I left outside your dorm roomThe lack of a practice facility? Either way, you were probably starting at an above-average, run-first BCS team. Now you're back home. I don't know what else to say. 8/10 - Abe Satterfield, fr., DB, Erie, Pa. - transfer: Don't let the 2-star rating fool you--he was one of Iowa's first offers and commits of his class, and he would have been pushing for a starting spot already. This is the wrong program to be mixed up in bad company, though. Question the high BIGDEALOMETER (tm) rating now, but think of it when Bradley Fletcher gets torched for a long TD like 19 times. 6/10
- Derrick Smith, fr., DB, Cleveland - unknown: I got nothing. 1/10
- Eddie Williams, sr., FB, Rock Island, Ill. - unknown: Iowa will probably survive the loss of a 3rd string, walk-on fullback. 0/10
So there's about five or six guys you should be worried about leaving the team. Of them, two didn't play a down in 2007, three made it halfway through the season before being axed, and only two (Pugh, Cleveland) played the entire season. Pugh was the only one with a glimmer of hope of starting in 2008. In other words, don't expect a backslide because of any of these departures. Plus your wallets are probably safer now.
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Dunn
From the Spring 2007 Prospectus:
"Rashad Dunn is a backup at [defensive] tackle after making the move from the offensive line. Iowa coaches feel Rashad could be a force in the Hawkeye line."
Without Dunn, our backups are Karl Klug (screaming nightmare terrormonster, but smaller than me) and Anton Narinsky (might be defector from Communist Russia). That's got to be worth at least a point.
by Hawkeye State on Apr 4, 2008 10:52 AM CDT 0 recs
Karl Klug is a fuckin stud
I will punch anyone who disagrees in the neck meat.
by storminspank on
Apr 4, 2008 9:44 PM CDT
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To be honest
I thought Derrick Smith was the LB recruit who went to Notre Dame.
by Frank Grimes on Apr 4, 2008 3:42 PM CDT 0 recs
By the way
Did you forget Jevon Pugh or did I misunderstand your listing?
by Frank Grimes on
Apr 4, 2008 3:45 PM CDT
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Totally forgot him!
We keep it professional around here. Article has been fixx0red.
by Oops Pow Surprise on
Apr 4, 2008 4:25 PM CDT
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that's great and all
but I would rather have scholarship guys in the two-deep at corner, and other skill positions like, oh, running back.
This is the 100x theory of organizational success. A few people have disproportionate influence on success. It's not about finding people who are 20% more productive, it's about finding the 100x'rs who are 100 times more productive.
Organizations that value "above average execution" are losers.
But I appreciate the sanguine, don't-panic, analysis. There's a lot of truth to that, also.
by Bellanca on Apr 4, 2008 4:54 PM CDT 0 recs
No reason to panic
Nothing any of us can do to change any of it anyway. May as well crack open that bottle of Icelandic vodka and enjoy the ride.
by Bucketochicken on
Apr 4, 2008 4:57 PM CDT
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Well,
maybe not enjoy the ride, but be on the ride, anyway.
sigh
Fuck.
by Bucketochicken on
Apr 4, 2008 4:58 PM CDT
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Brinnivin
Morning aperitif of the sports-demented.
If Harris had a daring streak, he'd serve it at Prairie Lights.
by Bellanca on
Apr 4, 2008 5:00 PM CDT
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it's not about the players
Anyway, it's not about the individual athletes, these days in I.C.
It's about, "Why didn't we show up to play 5 times last year?"
This completely baffles me. I thought, after the Texas game, there was no way Iowa would lay down for half the games last year. It's all about what's going on with the staff.
If Iowa had played every game last year the way they played TX, we'd have won 9 -- before going to a good bowl.
by Bellanca on Apr 4, 2008 4:58 PM CDT 0 recs
KOK-blocked
The defense did not lay down--they played well the entire season in spite of all the simplistic defense schemes. We lost most of those games because KOK kept calling passing plays in spite of a crappy line and an iffy quarterback in what should have been a run-oriented offense. He refused to rely on the running game, which showed success, and that was really baffling.
by BradBanks4ever on Apr 4, 2008 8:35 PM CDT 0 recs
And let's not forget Special Teams
Also depressing.
by Bucketochicken on Apr 5, 2008 4:02 PM CDT 0 recs





