ZOOK WEEK 2: THE ZOOKENING

Z fadin out

I finally heard from the Zooker Monday afternoon. He was in quite a state.
The conversation:

3:43 PM

ZookHook: Greetings from theheartland!

3:44 PM

ZookHook: Nothin to be afraid of, Newsy, the Zooker aint in Iowa. You can come to tha door! I know ur duckin me. thizis seriusss!!1 WEE needta talk

Jebus: Hey, Z. Nice game on Saturday. You really did it right. Also, it's day time. On a Monday. What are you doing up?

ZookHook: GOTCHA!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!! ZOOKER iz soooooooo fuckkkked up! Weave been parteein sincee tha game!! That game wuz aweezome!! I knew we could do it! TEAM AMERICA! fUCK YEAH!

Jebus: You didn't "do it". You lost, Z. Iowa hadn't won a Big 10 game in a year. You really fucked up. People are pissed.

3:45 PM

ZookHook: I KNOWz it!! Im Free!! Free at LAST!! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Jebus: ...

ZookHook: Gotcha, didnt' I? Know who sed that, Big Boy? OJ SIMPSON! PUT THAT IN UR WEBBLOG!

Jebus: Um, that was actually Martin Luther King Jr., Z. It's from the "I Have A Dream" speech.

ZookHook: "It's from Ihaveadream! I'm Newsy! I read history! I know everything!!!"

ZookHook: know thiz, Big BOy! The Zookerz off da chain! I be robodroned sinz halftime on the game day an i havent seen mi pantz since SUDNAY!! Zookerz be smellin everythin!! I smelled more HEAdz than Freddie Mercury!! SO

ZookHook: SUCK

ZookHook: ON

ZookHook: THAT!!!1

3:46 PM

Jebus: Cool. I got work to do. Later.

ZookHook: AW COMEON! Don leaf mee hangin.! Zooker gotta question?

Jebus: Fine... 1.

ZookHook: howmany games you gotta win fer abowl game?

Jebus: 6.

ZookHook: How manyz wegot now?

Jebus: 5.

ZookHook: FUUUUUCKKKK!!! SO WE gotta lose the resta dem?> Can we d o taht?

Jebus: I don't know, Z. You have Ball St and Minnesota back to back. You finish with Northwestern at home. Tough call. I think you're going bowling. Just keep starting Juice and you might be able to do it.

ZookHook: FUkkk!! Zooker hate werkin in Desember! IT RUINZ me CHirstmas!@

3:47 PM

ZookHook: If i losee the resta thessse games... can i get fired? this year? Zookerz worrreed. Ineeda cupple yearz off. FUCK NEWSY!! UR killin mah buzz!!!!

Jebus: I don't think so. You have 2 years left on your deal.

ZookHook: DONT YEW TELL  THE ZOOKER  NO! MARK MY WORDSZ! I"m gettin fiyerd! WATCH MEE!!!!

ZookHook: WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! PINK SLIPZ ALL AROUND!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!

That was the conclusion of my chat with Ron Zook yesterday. Once he gets like that, I just shut down the pc and leave it off for awhile. The minute I logged into IM today, I was greeted with this:

ZookHook: FUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

Jebus: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!

Jebus: "ZookHook: DONT YEW TELL  THE ZOOKER  NO! MARK MY WORDSZ! I"m gettin fiyerd! WATCH MEE!!!!"

Jebus: AAAAAHAHAHHAHAAA!!!!!

Leader. Teacher. Recruiter. Winner. Midget Tosser.

See you next year, Z.