Iowa @ Penn State LIVEBLOG: Punctuation Edition
Make no mistake about it comma this game will be unwatchable semicolon luckily, I've got my handy dandy 1994 clock radio dialed up to 800 AM so Dolph and Bobby Hansen can soothe the pain with their dulcet tones period Jebus will be joining us shortly comma and Hawkeye State is a ghost of a man who appears and disappears without warning comma so why don't you have some fun with us and join in question mark
(p.s. I promise not to do that in the comments.)
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94 comments
Comments
I had totally forgotten
that Penn State has a guy named "Stanley Pringle." That's what makes Dolph a true professional: he can say that name with a straight face. I'd be giggling like an idiot every time he touched the ball.
3-2 Penn State early.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Jake Kelly
looks and plays like Jerry Stackhouse at the age of 14. Oh, and white as hell.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I don't want to tell Lickliter how to coach
but I'm all for Tate scoring two-thirds of Iowa's points, 4 of Iowa's 6 with five minutes gone. Tie game.
Oh for fuck's sake, ridiculous charge called on Tate for foul #2. Hello, cold snap. It might be 31-6 by halftime.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Good god
Freeman's got a fast break and walks with it. 11-9 PSU, 8+ minutes gone.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:22 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Dolph and Hansen
have convinced themselves that referee Steve Skiles is on the take. They're citing the two quick calls on Cyrus and then a "moving screen" where Gorney was pushed into a defender. Of course, this is coming from Dolphin, who has an at best casual acquaintance with reality, so it wouldn't surprise me if Gorno took a 2x4 to Jamelle Cornley's knee.
PSU 11-9 still, 10:44 to go.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Note to Gary Dolphin
"Tony Freeman zippered up the middle" is either a) way too much information, or b) totally poor grammar.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:28 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Morrissey has hit 3 treys in a row
20-14, Penn State.
I had no idea he was still eligible.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:31 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Media timeout #3
22-17 Penn State with 7:30-ish left. Penn State is shooting the lights out at this point. Sure, being behind sucks, but PSU can't and won't keep this pace up; being down by only five bodes well for Iowa. Wait, Iowa's 7-10. Never mind.
And you know, if they keep committing offensive fouls like this (4 offensive fouls, 7 turnovers, Lickliter drinking himself to sleep), it won't matter how Iowa shoots.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Okay, Iowa's shooting is downright silly
Now 9-12, and having just hit two threes, Iowa leads 23-22.
Well, they led briefly, anyway; Peterson commits his third foul and sends Walker to the line for 3 FTs. Of course, he hit them all.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:37 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Iowa still hanging in, 27-25
Their defense has been ugly, and the refs haven't done Iowa any favors. As Dolph so artfully put it, Iowa has been, and sadly I quote, "Iowa has been out freethrowed
9-0."
God, it's freaking Penn State. Shouldn't Iowa be leading by 60?
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:41 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Remember Loody?
He was fun to watch.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 6:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Odd man out here
I know I take this stuff too seriously, but your running commentary on games is one of the single biggest reasons I continue to come here. Keep it up gents, I'll be working through the game tonight.
by jason3kidd on Feb 27, 2008 6:47 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Jake Kelly, redux
He's wreaking havoc on the Nits now. Drives for an easy two, then causes a turnover that leads to a 3. Iowa's within 1 now, 31-30.
Meanwhile, what the hell is wrong with Gorney? What's with the regression?
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
It's as though
He and the Virus can't co-exist. There's only so much awesome on the front line.
It parallels Freeman and Johnson in the backcourt. These guys need to learn they don't have to take turns playing well.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 6:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Timeout, Iowa, still 31-30
Also, it should be noted that Gorney has not regressed on the defensive end; he's one of the two best defenders on the team. But his offense is just nonexistent anymore. Remember when we were all "OMG GORNEY LOOK AT HIM GO"?
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
you know
If you want to toot your son's horn, blow away, but must you attack my boy? All of these kids are beautiful in their own way. Even Sethula.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 6:52 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Way off topic
Is he just showing off his power in their sports world? Or is it indicative of the talent level here in the bottom half of the league. Or is it...MURDER!
Wait...no, not murder...what's the word. Coincidence. Is it coincidence? Sorry for the confusion.
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 27, 2008 6:55 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Free throws
I'm sure you can point to the free throw disparity (Penn State 9-10, Iowa 0-0) and say ERRRGH REF BIAS IOWA SHOULD BE AHEAD, but--to take Dolph at his word (I know. I know.)--there's really only one instance where Iowa should have been shooting free throws, and that's the charge called on Tate early on. Past that, Penn State doesn't collapse on slashers, so Jake Kelly's points in the paint have been mostly uncontested.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 6:56 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
You know
Someone had posted a link to one in an earlier liveblog, but I can't remember which it was, nor can I find it by using the search engine. So there is one out there, it's somewhere in western Iowa, but by and large, this sort of stuff is tightly regulated by the UI so they can force you to pay to listen online.
It sucks, I know, but c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:00 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Great Question
I just assumed his brother, Albert Hughes, would continue writing it.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
please
don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood two should be out soon.
by big11th blog on Feb 27, 2008 7:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Road conditions
I just helped a neighbor get out of her driveway; there are tire ruts about four or five inches deep on our street, from all the snow.
What the fuck, Iowa City? Want to toss us dead-end-road types a bone on this one? It's been like a week since the last major snowfall.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:05 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Men Without Hats
I still can't get over him putting that money on his head, posing for a snapshot, and posting it on the internet.
Why?!?
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:06 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
What I keep thinking
That's where this goes from stupidity to tragedy.
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 27, 2008 7:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
THINK AGAIN!
That explains why criminal genius DD moved the money table between photos 1 and 3. You can't steal what you can't find, mu'ufucka!
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
d'oh!
Truly, we are looking at pictures from a criminal mastermind
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 27, 2008 7:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
And just like that, the Hawkeyes lead
36-31 after JJ and Kelly each hit a three.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
SOMEBUDDY
GET A BODY ON KELLY!
[hic]
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
this is a lot more like
jesus
by big11th blog on Feb 27, 2008 7:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
is there a way to set
something so everything isn't collapsed?
by big11th blog on Feb 27, 2008 7:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
probably
fuck if we know how.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I think so
Go up to the bottom of the story, where you'll see this --
24 comments | Post A Comment | Autorefresh | Edit Story
Comments: Expand Shrink Hide (Always) | Indented Flat
And check "expand" and "indented". That should do the trick.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:15 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
LOL
He just said "Stanley Pringle".
Couldn't they have named him Pris?
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
VA-J-J!
Another Johnson three; Iowa's now 9-14 from downtown on the night. If that keeps up, um, I think they win.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Confusion just
Rang out in the Iowa huddle during that last timeout. Kelly, Johnson, and Freeman are pointing fingers, wondering which one of them is supposed to be the shooter tonight.
"Well we can't all make shots!"
Should be interesting to see what adjustments Lick makes.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
hisssss
Another callous foul on Tate. The refs hate him. This I know. Leave my son alone!
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
psu radio guy
"the season is really on the line here for penn state...if they want to make something out of the season they need to do it in these 17 minutes"
um, or 3 months ago. i dont want to hate b/c if i had to watch every game i'd be stupid too, but comeon.
by big11th blog on Feb 27, 2008 7:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
STOP THE PRESSES
Iowa gets to the free throw line!
Kelly converts on a three-the-hard-way, and Iowa's now up 42-31. That's like 187-150 in regular team points.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:15 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Hahahahaha, Justin Johnson
just nailed another trey. 4-4 from deep, including three before the first media timeout. Now Iowa's up 45-33.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
we'll
good news: i'm leaving work
bad news: this game is over
so much for the "season".
by big11th blog on Feb 27, 2008 7:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
jesus fucking pringles
Looby can't make a dunk, turning the mo back to PSU.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
For crying out loud
Looby blows a dunk, PSU converts a 3, then Freeman commits a foul. Way to give the game back, guys. 45-40.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
PLAYGERRIZER!
I just said that stuff firster.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:20 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
In the locker room afterward
Lickliter: Looby, go get me a footstool.
Looby: Why?
Lickliter: Just fucking do it.
Looby: (fetches one)
Lickliter: (climbs atop, strangles Looby to death)
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:23 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
You aren't going to believe this
but I was just writing that same joke, but I went with Shinebox and ... forget it.
[Hoke is trailing Daisy in the car as she walks to the supermarket]
Miss Daisy: What are you doing?
Hoke: I'm tryin' to drive you to tha sto!
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
DOUBLE SECRET PLAIJERRISM!
(angrily googling "bhgp plagiarsts")
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:28 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I would have guessed
50-46 would be a final score, not the score with 12 minutes to go.
Cornley is abusing Gornography.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:24 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
52-46, 10:21 to go, media timeout
Neither team knows what the hell "defense" is. This could end up being the highest-scoring Iowa game of the year.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:27 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Trading threes again
55-49 after Morrissey and Peterson trade haymakers.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:30 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
In the locker room afterwards
Lickliter: Peterson, go get me the machete. It's next to the dog sled.
Peterson: No! You're going to cut me!
Lickliter: No I won't. I promise.
Peterson: Fine. But you can't slash me. (gets the machete)
Lickliter: (hacks off Looby's lifeless hands, uses them to strangle Peterson to death)
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:33 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
wow
That was a fucking quick and slick move by the Virus.
No so much at the defensive end by the Gornographer.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:33 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
[throws in white towel]
Get Gorney out of there. Cornley is murderin him to death.
Cornley just raised his fists to Gorney for no reason. Nice.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:38 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Jake Kelly now with 17 points
Hansen and Dolph can't shut up about the finish on a layup off the glass. 60-53 Iowa, about six minutes to go, PSU heading to the line.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
It was a thing of beauty
Like Alex English, back in the day.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:40 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Cyrus will see himself out just fine, thank you
Cyrus coughs the ball up, gives to to Cornley, then commits his fifth foul immediately afterward.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:41 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Tate out, his replacement?
Looby. Ouch.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:42 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Oh for fucks' sake
Iowa is trying to give this game back to Penn State. 60-57, 4 minutes to go.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:43 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
WHY?!?!
Can't we reanimate the corpse of David Palmer? Looby just isn't there tonight.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:43 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Steve Skiles hates Iowa
Freeman gets hacked during a three, ball goes about 12 feet, no call. Unbelievable. Lickliter might run Skiles over with a pickup truck at midcourt.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
In Skiles defense
I kinda hate Freeman too. Of course, I hated Skiles' brother more than any player in Big 10 history.
I'm filled with hate.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Three from Free
is what we need here.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:45 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
3:15 to go, 60-57
If Iowa loses, so help me god, I'll put on some pants.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:47 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Finally!
The Bohall Experience begins.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Oh holy lord
The "4" in the game right now for Iowa is Dan Bohall. That's not small-ball, that's microscopic ball.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
and
who draws the charge?
Bohall.
This guy saved our nuts against NW too.
Now? He just drew another foul.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:50 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Dan Bohall is a force of nature
Four free throws and a drawn charge for Mr. Zima, Iowa leads 64-57.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:50 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Yep.
"They could not score points until Bohall came in"
-- announcer guy
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:51 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Freeman
Is killing me. Just killing me.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:52 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
CRIKEY!
Just get the fucking ball to BOHALL!!!
/ sober, wearing pants, and serious as a heart attack
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:53 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Easy, Bohall
I know you're excited about hitting the free throws, but don't go pretending you can shoot a three. That's a level of reckless optimism that we haven't seen in months.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:53 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
absolute
HIGHWAY ROBBERY on Freeman there. He was assaulted by 3 guys, no call.
Penn St responds with a 3, cutting it to 2.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:54 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Big 3 for PSU. 64-62 Iowa
...and Iowa gives the ball up again. Fucking oh my god.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:54 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Holy Shit
Jarryd Cole makes that Penny's sweater look fucking terrifying.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:56 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Jesus Christ
This is Penn State, there's 20 seconds left, and Iowa doesn't block out.
Tie game, PSU on the line, and I can't feel my left arm.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
And-1 for Penn State. Tied pending a free throw.
18 seconds left. Ridiculous.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
65-64 PSU, 9 seconds to go, time out Iowa.
Where's the nearest ballpoint pen? I need to gouge my eyes out.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 7:58 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I...
no idea what to do.
Freeman will turn it over.
Gorney will shoot an airball.
Peterson will fall down.
Kelly will get tackled.
Bohall is the guy. Has to be.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 7:59 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
again
Freeman got fucking hammered, and there's no call.
Utter bullshit. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Just wow. They call a chippy on us at the other end, giving Penn St the and-1 (and the lead), nothing for us.
Wow.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 8:00 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Ball out of bounds to Iowa. 1.2 seconds to go.
Fuck. fuck. fuck.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 8:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Ha!
The BTN couldn't even decide which replay to show, Freeman got hammered so badly on both of them.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 8:02 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
God damn it.
Fucking Johnson can't hold onto the ball, game over. I'm going to beat my head in with a frying pan.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 8:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
That's that with that
Wow.
No replay, natch
That's it for me.
Night all.
by jebushchrist on Feb 27, 2008 8:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Fuck you Steve Skiles.
Fuck you Penn State.
I'm already done with this game.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 27, 2008 8:04 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Retards.
Not that I had any idea there was a basketball game tonight. That season ended the moment Geary Claxton's knee exploded.
by Run Up The Score on Feb 27, 2008 9:45 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
exploded?
I thought he died? Isn't that why all the players wrote his number on their shoes?
Either way, I'm with RUTS, I didn't even realize there was a game until I saw this post pop up in my reader.
by big11th blog on Feb 28, 2008 8:02 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

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