Iowa @ Penn State LIVEBLOG: Punctuation Edition

that Penn State has a guy named "Stanley Pringle." That's what makes Dolph a true professional: he can say that name with a straight face. I'd be giggling like an idiot every time he touched the ball.

3-2 Penn State early.

looks and plays like Jerry Stackhouse at the age of 14. Oh, and white as hell.

but I'm all for Tate scoring two-thirds of Iowa's points, 4 of Iowa's 6 with five minutes gone. Tie game.

Oh for fuck's sake, ridiculous charge called on Tate for foul #2. Hello, cold snap. It might be 31-6 by halftime.

Freeman's got a fast break and walks with it. 11-9 PSU, 8+ minutes gone.

have convinced themselves that referee Steve Skiles is on the take. They're citing the two quick calls on Cyrus and then a "moving screen" where Gorney was pushed into a defender. Of course, this is coming from Dolphin, who has an at best casual acquaintance with reality, so it wouldn't surprise me if Gorno took a 2x4  to Jamelle Cornley's knee.

PSU 11-9 still, 10:44 to go.

"Tony Freeman zippered up the middle" is either a) way too much information, or b) totally poor grammar.

20-14, Penn State.

I had no idea he was still eligible.

22-17 Penn State with 7:30-ish left. Penn State is shooting the lights out at this point. Sure, being behind sucks, but PSU can't and won't keep this pace up; being down by only five bodes well for Iowa. Wait, Iowa's 7-10. Never mind.

And you know, if they keep committing offensive fouls like this (4 offensive fouls, 7 turnovers, Lickliter drinking himself to sleep), it won't matter how Iowa shoots.

Now 9-12, and having just hit two threes, Iowa leads 23-22.

Well, they led briefly, anyway; Peterson commits his third foul and sends Walker to the line for 3 FTs. Of course, he hit them all.

Their defense has been ugly, and the refs haven't done Iowa any favors. As Dolph so artfully put it, Iowa has been, and sadly I quote, "Iowa has been out freethrowed
9-0."

God, it's freaking Penn State. Shouldn't Iowa be leading by 60?

He was fun to watch.

He's wreaking havoc on the Nits now. Drives for an easy two, then causes a turnover that leads to a 3. Iowa's within 1 now, 31-30.

Meanwhile, what the hell is wrong with Gorney? What's with the regression?

Also, it should be noted that Gorney has not regressed on the defensive end; he's one of the two best defenders on the team. But his offense is just nonexistent anymore. Remember when we were all "OMG GORNEY LOOK AT HIM GO"?

I'm sure you can point to the free throw disparity (Penn State 9-10, Iowa 0-0) and say ERRRGH REF BIAS IOWA SHOULD BE AHEAD, but--to take Dolph at his word (I know. I know.)--there's really only one instance where Iowa should have been shooting free throws, and that's the charge called on Tate early on. Past that, Penn State doesn't collapse on slashers, so Jake Kelly's points in the paint have been mostly uncontested.

Someone had posted a link to one in an earlier liveblog, but I can't remember which it was, nor can I find it by using the search engine. So there is one out there, it's somewhere in western Iowa, but by and large, this sort of stuff is tightly regulated by the UI so they can force you to pay to listen online.

It sucks, I know, but c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?

I just assumed his brother, Albert Hughes, would continue writing it.

I just helped a neighbor get out of her driveway; there are tire ruts about four or five inches deep on our street, from all the snow.

What the fuck, Iowa City? Want to toss us dead-end-road types a bone on this one? It's been like a week since the last major snowfall.

I still can't get over him putting that money on his head, posing for a snapshot, and posting it on the internet.
Why?!?

36-31 after JJ and Kelly each hit a three.

GET A BODY ON KELLY!
[hic]

He just said "Stanley Pringle".
Couldn't they have named him Pris?

Another Johnson three; Iowa's now 9-14 from downtown on the night. If that keeps up, um, I think they win.

Rang out in the Iowa huddle during that last timeout. Kelly, Johnson, and Freeman are pointing fingers, wondering which one of them is supposed to be the shooter tonight.
"Well we can't all make shots!"

Should be interesting to see what adjustments Lick makes.

Another callous foul on Tate. The refs hate him. This I know. Leave my son alone!

Iowa gets to the free throw line!

Kelly converts on a three-the-hard-way, and Iowa's now up 42-31. That's like 187-150 in regular team points.

just nailed another trey. 4-4 from deep, including three before the first media timeout. Now Iowa's up 45-33.

Looby can't make a dunk, turning the mo back to PSU.

Looby blows a dunk, PSU converts a 3, then Freeman commits a foul. Way to give the game back, guys. 45-40.

Lickliter: Looby, go get me a footstool.
Looby: Why?
Lickliter: Just fucking do it.
Looby: (fetches one)
Lickliter: (climbs atop, strangles Looby to death)

50-46 would be a final score, not the score with 12 minutes to go.

Cornley is abusing Gornography.

Neither team knows what the hell "defense" is. This could end up being the highest-scoring Iowa game of the year.

Go Hawks!

No Lions!

55-49 after Morrissey and Peterson trade haymakers.

Nice shot, Jake!

darnit

Go Hawks!

That was a fucking quick and slick move by the Virus.

No so much at the defensive end by the Gornographer.

and we lock this down.

Get Gorney out of there. Cornley is murderin him to death.
Cornley just raised his fists to Gorney for no reason. Nice.

Hansen and Dolph can't shut up about the finish on a layup off the glass. 60-53 Iowa, about six minutes to go, PSU heading to the line.

Cyrus coughs the ball up, gives to to Cornley, then commits his fifth foul immediately afterward.

Looby. Ouch.

Iowa is trying to give this game back to Penn State. 60-57, 4 minutes to go.

Can't we reanimate the corpse of David Palmer? Looby just isn't there tonight.

Freeman gets hacked during a three, ball goes about 12 feet, no call. Unbelievable. Lickliter might run Skiles over with a pickup truck at midcourt.

is what we need here.

If Iowa loses, so help me god, I'll put on some pants.

The Bohall Experience begins.

The "4" in the game right now for Iowa is Dan Bohall. That's not small-ball, that's microscopic ball.

who draws the charge?
Bohall.
This guy saved our nuts against NW too.
Now? He just drew another foul.

Four free throws and a drawn charge for Mr. Zima, Iowa leads 64-57.

"They could not score points until Bohall came in"
-- announcer guy

Is killing me. Just killing me.

Just get the fucking ball to BOHALL!!!
/ sober, wearing pants, and serious as a heart attack

I know you're excited about hitting the free throws, but don't go pretending you can shoot a three. That's a level of reckless optimism that we haven't seen in months.

HIGHWAY ROBBERY on Freeman there. He was assaulted by 3 guys, no call.
Penn St responds with a 3, cutting it to 2.

...and Iowa gives the ball up again. Fucking oh my god.

Jarryd Cole makes that Penny's sweater look fucking terrifying.

This is Penn State, there's 20 seconds left, and Iowa doesn't block out.
Tie game, PSU on the line, and I can't feel my left arm.

18 seconds left. Ridiculous.

Where's the nearest ballpoint pen? I need to gouge my eyes out.

no idea what to do.
Freeman will turn it over.
Gorney will shoot an airball.
Peterson will fall down.
Kelly will get tackled.
Bohall is the guy. Has to be.

Freeman got fucking hammered, and there's no call.
Utter bullshit. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Just wow. They call a chippy on us at the other end, giving Penn St the and-1 (and the lead), nothing for us.
Wow.

Fuck. fuck. fuck.

The BTN couldn't even decide which replay to show, Freeman got hammered so badly on both of them.

Fucking Johnson can't hold onto the ball, game over. I'm going to beat my head in with a frying pan.

Wow.
No replay, natch
That's it for me.
Night all.

Not that I had any idea there was a basketball game tonight.  That season ended the moment Geary Claxton's knee exploded.