Forget George Bush, Hannah Montana, Oprah, and DMX; there is only one ruler of the entire universe. That is MOTO: Master Of The Obvious. The current monarch of the MOTO Universe is none other than outgoing Iowa tailback Albert Young, who broke it down in achingly obvious terms for the Des Moines Register:

"Things definitely have gotten out of hand. There is no way around it," Young said. "And it started happening even before the season."

worse:

"The coaches preach the right things. There is no reason players shouldn't know right from wrong, so if people are blaming the coaches or the university - that's just not right," Young said. "I am not going to name names, but I have seen guys act one way on their recruiting visit, then act a whole other way once they get here and start school. How can you predict that? You can't. It is not only happening at Iowa. I am sure it is happening all over the country."

Yes, the Register is a Gannett-owned shitrag, but AY has a point here. Isn't it insanely obvious that, uh, something's really wrong here?

Now, to be fair, a coach needs to be more proactive than, let's say Stan and Kyle from South Park, who just say "oh goddammit" whenever something dumb happens and it counts as biting social commentary. And Kirk Ferentz has been heavy-handed with both his reactionary discipline and his prevention program (he has, somehow, imposed a 12-day-a-week curfew). So like AY said, he's probably not the one to point the finger at. Still... what the hell? Name one other university where the star running back is compelled to cast aspersions against the state of legal affairs among the players.

Anyway, we thank AY for his candor, even as we bemoan the circumstances that warrant it. We just hope that the criminal element doesn't infect Casey McMillan, because the last thing this city needs is a raging hateboulder throwing a cop car at an elementary school.