Black Heart Gold Pants: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:

Iowa at Michigan State OPEN THREAD: Please Don't Kill Us

Taxigun2_tiny by Oops Pow Surprise on in News


It's time for VENGEANCE. No, not you assclowns. Go away.

Iowa visits East Lansing today, a place where the Hawkeyes haven't won since 1993. Fa real. The Spartans have all sorts of reasons why they should win, namely:

  1. They're far better than Iowa at basketball;
  1. Izzo stands to win his 300th game today;
  1. cold, brutal revenge.

This won't be close, and we're perfectly aware of that, thank you. We just hope Iowa can keep the deficit to double digits. Be sure to keep your browsers pointed right hyeah as we suffer in the best way possible: together.

0 recs | Comment 89 comments

Read Related

Story-email Email | Print |

Comments

Display:

and

I'm already ill. Hate the Spartans.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:10 PM CST   0 recs

Nice tackle, dickwad.

Raymar Morgan divebombs old dude's knees, and the crowd starts booing because a foul was called? That shit's illegal in fucking football.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:14 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Fire walk with me

Twin Peaks rules!  Woooooooooooooo!!!!!

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:12 PM CST   0 recs

I just set my DVR

I'm recording the entire series on Chiller.  You win, Bucketochicken.  You always do.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:44 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

17:20 remains in the first half

Lick already had to use a TO.
Izzo is already screaming at the officials.
Neitzel is already a prick.
Oh, and it's 8-1, MSU.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:12 PM CST   0 recs

Somehow I forgot

that MSU has a fucking ginger kid at center. I hate Naymick so hard.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:15 PM CST   0 recs

Eject?

I think I may have to bail already. I can't even think right now.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:16 PM CST   0 recs

Hooters

Could they dress in a less attractive "uniform"?

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:18 PM CST   0 recs

It's just not an Iowa game

Without an arctic first eight minutes.

12-1 with 15:30 to go. Fuck me.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:19 PM CST   0 recs

Prediction

Final score: Michigan State 212, Iowa 1.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:20 PM CST   0 recs

Reggie Evans

If we could have him back for just 1 day...

We have the softest front line in college basketball history.

I'm done.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:21 PM CST   0 recs

Lickliter

Looks like he's about to put the team in a bus, then push it into the ocean. Good heavens.

14-1.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:22 PM CST   0 recs

fucking fuck

We're so bad we can't get a shot off.
Jesus, we can't even fucking dribble.
Fuck.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:24 PM CST   0 recs

Keep digging Hawkeyes!

We can still see you.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:25 PM CST   0 recs

Put your bets in now

When will Iowa hit their first field goal? I'm guessing with 9 minutes left in the first half... on Wednesday.

This is agonizing to watch.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:26 PM CST   0 recs

Masochism

A very disturbed part of me kinda' hopes Sparty holds Iowa under 10 first half points, just for you know, novelty's sake.  

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:27 PM CST   0 recs

Why do you

want to see Lickliter beat Freeman's face in at midcourt? Where's the sport in that? It'd just be like Jared Leto getting erased in Fight Club.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:30 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Better at midcourt

than on the sidelines.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:32 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Second media timeout

and no fucking baskets for Iowa. 15-1.

Holy mother of God, we're setting new standards of incompetence.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:27 PM CST   0 recs

...

title=
We know Alex. We know.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:30 PM CST   0 recs

oh goddammit

Make it stop. Make it stop.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:31 PM CST   0 recs

79-12?

This is going to be worse than that time the Dragons beat the Beavers...

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:31 PM CST   0 recs

big boy

with a bucket
wooo

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:32 PM CST   0 recs

pfffft

"Iowa won't run very often... and Freeman won't run here"
-- ESPN announcer guy

Does he know how hard it is to run and dribble at the same time?
Asshole.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:34 PM CST   0 recs

HOLY SHIT 9 POINTS STOP THE PRESSES

WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A REAL BARNBURNER NOW

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:35 PM CST   0 recs

Ford commercial

They're swinging a pickup truck around a giant centrifuge. This strikes me as wildly unnecessary.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:38 PM CST   0 recs

and

ridiculously nauseating for drivers.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:40 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

You're just sitting there,

trying not to barf, and slamming on the brakes even though you know it won't do any good!

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:42 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

I know what it's like

I get carsick in the passenger seat on occasion. I used to have an Isuzu Trooper and when I'd get really drunk (couple times a week), I'd let my girlfriend drive home. Well, the passenger seat made me sick, and I was already drunk, so I'd sit in the back seat. Then I'd shout stuff at her from Driving Miss Daisy, but she wouldn't play along, so I'd play both roles.

Daisy: What are you doing?
Hoke: I'm tryin' to drive you to the store!

or

Miss Daisy: Hoke?
Hoke: Yes'm.
Daisy: You're my best friend.
Hoke: No, go on Miss Daisy.
Daisy: No, really, you are...
Hoke: Yes'm.

She loved it!
(not really)

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:51 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

oh, I forgot

This was my favorite bit:

Daisy: You know your letters don't you?
Hoke: Oh yeahs, yeah I knows mah ABC's pretty good, jus' can't read.
Daisy: Stop saying that you're making me mad! If you know your letters you can read. You just don't know you can read.
Hoke: Ma'am?
Daisy: I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:57 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

WOW

An Iowa player just threw the basketball through the hoop.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:42 PM CST   0 recs

to be fair

it wasn't exactly on purpose; he was aiming for one of the sousaphones.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:44 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Oh well

Better luck next time.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:45 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Honestly

I'm just glad they picked the right ball; it was embarrassing when they spent the first seven minutes of the ULM game trying to dribble a fucking baseball.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:47 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

You know it's bad when

Iowa goes on a 7-9 tear from the field and is still ridiculously and hopelessly behind.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:43 PM CST   0 recs

Your 2007-2008 Iowa Hawkeyes

Helping you decide that you, in fact, hate the sport of basketball.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:48 PM CST   0 recs

MSU -15 1/2 was a steal

Iowa's suckitude at East Lansing is nothing new.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:51 PM CST   0 recs

are you

trying to break my heart?

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:53 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

LINK WHORE LINK WHORE

We don't need to give that piggybacking butthole any more attention and oh god he's standing right behind me isn't he.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:53 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Yeah

The call is coming from inside the house!  THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:54 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

?

[ looks around for Boiled Sports]

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:59 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

oh christ

Don't mention them by name, that only encourages them.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:11 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

If I were at this game

regardless of my affiliation, I would leave at halftime. This is ridiculous.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:52 PM CST   0 recs

Iowa Hoops is to Basketball

what "Weekend at Bernie's II" is to film.  And we don't even have Andrew fucking McCarthy...

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:52 PM CST   0 recs

Maybe

I need to start drinking right now. I'm not sure that it would help the Hawkeyes in any way, shape, or form, but hey, my pants would be gone.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 1:55 PM CST   0 recs

Since when

have you needed alcohol to go streaking from the waist down?

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:56 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Well

If my parents are reading, I'd like them to think that they can at least blame an outside substance for raising someone who engages in such behavior, rather than blaming themselves.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:00 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Sweet

"10,000 B.C." looks really, really cool.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:03 PM CST   0 recs

or as I call it

The Day Before Yesterday

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:05 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

The Senior Skins Game

Arnold Palmer - won seven majors
Jack Nicklaus - won eighteen majors
Gary Player - won nine majors
Peter Jacobsen - announcer on Golden Tee

I'm taking Jacobsen.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:06 PM CST   0 recs

I don't know why

the stat people ever make a big deal about Iowa's bench points. Iowa's backups are Kurt Looby, a 9-year-old, a folding chair, a jar of cashews, and David Palmer.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:10 PM CST   0 recs

And a man who can't hold his liquor

Don't forget Bohall.  Don't ever forget.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:11 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Bo Knows

Bo knows hitting the front rim. Bo knows Smirnoff Ice. Bo knows sleeping on the toilet.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:16 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Well, that was fun

Good to see MSU's up by 18 now. I just hope Iowa doesn't get doubled up.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:15 PM CST   0 recs

Can I make one request?

Can Cyrus Tate show up in the first half once this season?

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:19 PM CST   0 recs

Not until

Lickliter stops making the players wait until halftime to get their goose on.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:21 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

aaaaaaaaahahahaaa

Gornstar just tackled Peterson while he was "setting a screen"! Awesome.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:19 PM CST   0 recs

Um

Why are the Spartaaaaan fans in costumes?

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:23 PM CST   0 recs

lehigh

is french for "the high"

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:25 PM CST   0 recs

lohigh

is french for "the blunt"

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:26 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

I'm

wearing pants.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:28 PM CST   0 recs

The score is 44-28, 11 1/2 minutes to go

if Michigan State merely dropkicks the ball on every possession, will Iowa get back within 10 points before the final horn?

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:28 PM CST   0 recs

There's NO TIME!

No, it's unpossible for them to score that many points in so little time.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:30 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

There's never any time!

I don't have time to study!  I'll never get into Stanford!  I'm so confused!

Everything will be alright.  I just need one of these...

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:38 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

I think this game

must be what taking the Brown Acid at Woodstock was like.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:31 PM CST   0 recs

Goaltending

Our best offensive play of the game.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:34 PM CST   0 recs

nice

Freeman's first FG, 32 minutes into the game.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:35 PM CST   0 recs

It's a miracle

that Iowa is not losing by 90 at this point. They haven't done anything well.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:36 PM CST   0 recs

I feel like

Bob Uecker should be the announcer for all of our games.  With the reanimated corpse of Rodney Dangerfield doing color commentary.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:41 PM CST   0 recs

You know

Jim Zabel's still alive, let's not go tinkering with zombies unless we absolutely have to. I've seen what they can do.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:45 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Goran Suton

Master of the two-foot miss.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:52 PM CST   0 recs

64-48, 2 minutes to go

And I'm leaving. Gents, it's been as pleasant as a root canal. Peace.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 23, 2008 2:54 PM CST   0 recs

well

I hope you guys noticed that a certain squad from Iowa City just hit 50 points!!!
Yeah, I'm out too.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:56 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

naturally!

With 3 seconds left in a 14 point game MSU had to drive to the basket and get a shot off, as opposed to just letting time run out and shaking hands.
Fucking assholes.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 3:00 PM CST   0 recs

I didn't watch but...

assuming the 15 1/2 spread mentioned above was correct...Well, you see what I'm getting at.

by icculus on Feb 23, 2008 6:04 PM CST to parent up   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed

Search

User Tools

Got something you want to see here? Tell us about it! Our email addresses are listed below, and we're always available at BlackHeartGoldPants at gmail.