I'm running all the way to Iowa City! High five!

We're not much into research at the BHGP sports desk [Wow. No shit. Fooled me. --ed], so we're a bit dismayed that we can't actually verify that something like this--one team taking two quarterbacks from a conference opponent--is unprecedented. Nonetheless, Michigan's overtall, undermature freshman quarterback Ryan Mallett is transferring, to Rich Rodriguez's total lack of chagrin.

Mallett's departure is not altogether surprising; programs often see elevated amounts of attrition during coaching turnovers, and the lanky QB is hardly a fit for Rodriguez's spread-read-ninja-option offense. Mallett's also not the only quarterback to leave Michigan thus far. As you may recall, Iowa snagged QB John Wienke from the Wolverines last month; Wienke became the third quarterback to verbal in this class.

So why not four? What do you say, Mallett? Sure, there's a glut of warm bodies at the position, and sure you'd probably spend at least a season learning from someone whose brain and arm rarely communicate, but hear me out. You'd be helping Iowa create a new program identity. If we can't be the Bullies of the Big Ten, we can at least be the conference's dumpster divers. It starts with you.

[OPS has been drinking since 11 a.m. Mallett's not coming to Iowa. --ed]

The fuck he's not! They're all transferring over here! Even the Mario Mannerhams!

[Let's get you home, big guy. You've had a long day. --ed]