BIGGEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF BHGP!!!

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:08 PM CST in News

We were linked by Deadspin, (falsely and hilariously) accused of plagiarism, and we're rooting for Ohio State. I don't even know who I am anymore. Also, this is the first post I've written in 2008 - it's been so long I couldn't find my lucky pajamas. Anyway, we're here, we're... here, and we're not going anywhere!

Go [is he really doing this?--ed.] Buckeyes!!! [he is, jesus, there goes the neighborhood.--ed]

Previously: on Big 10 versus SEC - Michigan did the unthinkable and dispatched the Gators. This was the biggest win for the Big 10 all season.
Can Ohio State take down LSU and put an end to this talk of Ess ee cee speed and supremacy?
Can the Big 10 win a National Championship against a superior team from a superior conference?
Can I make it through a liveblog without talking about taking my pants off?
Stick around if you want to have all of these questions answered and I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope it doesn't turn out like this --

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And

we're off! As they were waiting to go onto the field, Tressel was absolutely bouncing with anticipation. HIS SWEATERVEST NEARLY CAME UNTUCKED!
It was epic.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:26 PM CST 0 recs

ahem

Looks like speed wasn't an issue there for Beanie Wells as he hit the hole and outran the secondary of LSU.
Geaux Buckeyes!!!
7-0

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:29 PM CST 0 recs

boom

LSU needs points here.
/Madden

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:33 PM CST 0 recs

thank god

Ted Ginn Jr. is there to make the Buckeyes think fondly of last year's game when he scored then got hurt celebrating and missed the rest of the game.
Welcome to the party, Jr.
Asshole.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:34 PM CST 0 recs

and

Ohio State shoots themself in the foot after a great play. 2nd & 10 from the LSU 15.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:39 PM CST 0 recs

this

Horrible formation by tOSU - empty backfield on 3rd & 4 from the 9, thus allowing LSU to stand in a zone and wait for Boeckman to clumsily plod into them. Wow, that was stupid.
They settle for a FG.
I won't forget that call.
10-0, OSU

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:44 PM CST 0 recs

1st down - Tigers

"The first 1st down was key for LSU. Now they need to score points."
/ announcer dude channeling Madden

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:48 PM CST 0 recs

Hester

Is about to fumble, since the announcers just said he never fumbles.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:49 PM CST 0 recs

wow

Ohio State's D looks like a team that hasn't played a game in 6 weeks - guys are just standing around looking for someone else to do their job.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:51 PM CST 0 recs

and

another terrible formation, this time by the OSU D. LSU had 3rd & 1 from the 14 and the Buckeyes had splits on their D line you could drive a truck through. They literally created a hole for LSU to run through.
Snap out of it, Tressel, the game is happening right now! COME ON!

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:53 PM CST 0 recs

ok

LSU runs a worthless play (after a timeout) on 3rd & 13, settling for a FG.
10-3, OSU

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:57 PM CST 0 recs

Fox

Is creaming in their pants right now at the possibilities of QB ball suckage. Next weekend they have Favre, Romo, and bad Manning to talk about.
Note to self: stay away from Fox pre-game shows next weekend.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:01 PM CST 0 recs

punt

Ohio State punts, misses a couple tackles, then LSU's return guy (Jones? I think) fumbles. After a scramble, LSU recovers it... and then LSU inexplicably taunts after recovering their own fumble. I think they just broke new ground in taunting. I don't believe I've ever seen a guy completely uninvolved in a play taunt his opponent after a teammate scrambles to recover a fumble.
Noice!

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:07 PM CST 0 recs

slam

Hester just trucked OSU's safety, leaving him in a heap on the ground.
Ohio State looks tired and we're 30 seconds into the 2nd qtr.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:11 PM CST 0 recs

Ohio State

Makes me look smart by committing personal fouls, out of laziness and fatigue, on consecutive plays, leaving LSU with 1st & goal.

Let the beatings begin.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:13 PM CST 0 recs

TD

LSU scores an uncontested TD on 1st & goal.
10-10.

Ohio State needs to get their second wind and regroup fast, or they're going to get humiliated.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:14 PM CST 0 recs

holy hell

Beanie Wells just fucking electrocuted Chevis Jackson with a stiff arm, literally knocking him to the ground, and continuing for another smooth 20+ yard run.
Thing is, the Buckeyes need to take their time here on this drive, to give their bewildered D a breather.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:19 PM CST 0 recs

sigh

and OSU gets ANOTHER personal foul called on them, moving them back to midfield.
Jesus Christ, guys, get your shit correct.
For fuck's sake.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:20 PM CST 0 recs

Robiskie

Just dropped a TD. Nice play by LSU.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:20 PM CST 0 recs

jesus christ (jebus christ?)

is anyone here besides jebushchrist?

hello? is this thing on? [taps mic]

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 8:35 PM CST 0 recs

I know

that rooting for the sweater vest is a sign of the apocolypse, but does my browser really need to fucking crash every five minutes?

by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 8:46 PM CST up 0 recs

also stretched too thin

The Buckeyes. Are you kidding me with this shit? They're the #1 defense in the country, they've had 6 weeks to prepare, and LSU doesn't even have a good offense. This is an absolute embarrassment.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:50 PM CST 0 recs

haven't you heard?

There's no speed in the big 10. And it doesn't matter if it's true or not, sweater vest doesn't stop getting blown out, it's all we're going to hear about for the next 12 months

by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 8:59 PM CST up 0 recs

I'm so glad I'm at work

and can't see this damn game.

by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 8:51 PM CST 0 recs

be thankful

It's horrible.

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:08 PM CST up 0 recs

wow

I'm on record as saying I hate the Buckeyes, in particular their coach, but this is hard to watch. I cannot imagine the pain of being a Buckeye fan right now.
You have 6 weeks, hell, a year, to prepare for this night. You jump out early, then spend the next quarter and a half wandering around listlessly like you're at a fucking photo shoot and not a football game. This is what I've noticed, thus far from OSU:

a horrible defensive scheme
milquetoast, predictable offensive formations
horrible situational gameplanning on both sides of the ball (see: comments above)
horrible conditioning (i can haz Mike Hart's stationary bike?)
lazy tackling
Ted Ginn Jr. on the sidelines (they couldn't get Maurice Clarett? least he won a title)
inability to maintain emotional composure
a complete lack of intensity at the point of attack
no teamwork
no apparent interest in winning a national championship
no leadership on the field

I'm disgusted and ashamed for my conference.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:09 PM CST up 0 recs

and it's all the more surprising

considing who it is.
This is a team, or at least a coach, who knows better. Who should understand what it takes, and who has spent the last 6 weeks talking about how they're going to be ready this time.

With the exception of the boring offense, everything else here is out of character from them.

by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 9:17 PM CST up 0 recs

what the fuck?

Is Jamarcus Russell planning on hosting Supermarket Sweep later tonight?

Nice sweater, man.

And way to annunciate on tv.

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:16 PM CST 0 recs

seriously

Bill Cosby looked at that sweater and he was like, "that is an ugly sweater, boy! you got to get yourself a jeellllooooo pudddinnggg POP!"

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:20 PM CST up 0 recs

I...

have no idea what Jamarcus Russell just said. Not a word.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:17 PM CST 0 recs

and

why does every student at Trinity look like they just were greeted by the Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol?

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:21 PM CST 0 recs

eaux neaux!

Perrillouxoux is in the game. Not what the Buckeyes needed to see.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:25 PM CST 0 recs

I heard

he wants to get the W for Britney Spears.

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:29 PM CST up 0 recs

also

Britney could use some Zoloft.
and some sleep.
and some veggies.
and some panties (crotchless do not count).
and a husband who doesn't end all sentences with "yo".
and Supernanny.
and a treadmill.
and some sensible shoes.
and stock in Frito Lay.
and a chauffer.
and some nice white pants to go with her straight-jacket.
and some conditioner.
and smaller sunglasses.
and some sturdier backup dancers.
and a new stylist.
and an island (with no Tiki bars).
and some unconditional love.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:35 PM CST up 0 recs

and

her reproductive organs removed?

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:39 PM CST up 0 recs

gnnnnnnnnn

Again, with the 4 foot splits between D linemen from tOSU on 3rd & 1.
Make it stop.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:26 PM CST 0 recs

broken record

again, with the splits in short yardage

Does OSU not have someone in the booth? I mean, someone's lookin' at the 22, right?

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:29 PM CST 0 recs

Call it!

T.O.D. - 9:37 CST.
Cause of death - sloth

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:38 PM CST 0 recs

or pride

tOSU is above roughing the kicker penalties!

by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:40 PM CST up 0 recs

also

I'm not wearing any pants.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:40 PM CST 0 recs

Considering

the score, that took longer than expected

by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 9:46 PM CST up 0 recs

To be fair

They came off awhile ago, I just didn't mention it.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:51 PM CST up 0 recs

Attention recruits!

Attention all high school players!
When considering your offers, keep this in mind...
Come to Iowa!
Beautiful campus!
Plenty of playing time for those of you who aren't arrested!
A coach who won't leave despite many rumors!
Absolutely guaranteed not to embarrass yourself on national tv getting waxed in the title game!

by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 9:44 PM CST 0 recs

hoenstly

Anyone who watched this "game" with any knowledge at all will know this has nothing to do with speed.
If someone tries to say this was about SEC speed, you can stop arguing with them because they're a fool and not worth arguing with.

by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:47 PM CST 0 recs