BIGGEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF BHGP!!!
We were linked by Deadspin, (falsely and hilariously) accused of plagiarism, and we're rooting for Ohio State. I don't even know who I am anymore. Also, this is the first post I've written in 2008 - it's been so long I couldn't find my lucky pajamas. Anyway, we're here, we're... here, and we're not going anywhere!
Go [is he really doing this?--ed.] Buckeyes!!! [he is, jesus, there goes the neighborhood.--ed]
Previously: on Big 10 versus SEC - Michigan did the unthinkable and dispatched the Gators. This was the biggest win for the Big 10 all season.
Can Ohio State take down LSU and put an end to this talk of Ess ee cee speed and supremacy?
Can the Big 10 win a National Championship against a superior team from a superior conference?
Can I make it through a liveblog without talking about taking my pants off?
Stick around if you want to have all of these questions answered and I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope it doesn't turn out like this --
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92 comments
Comments
And
we're off! As they were waiting to go onto the field, Tressel was absolutely bouncing with anticipation. HIS SWEATERVEST NEARLY CAME UNTUCKED!
It was epic.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
ahem
Looks like speed wasn't an issue there for Beanie Wells as he hit the hole and outran the secondary of LSU.
Geaux Buckeyes!!!
7-0
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
thank god
Ted Ginn Jr. is there to make the Buckeyes think fondly of last year's game when he scored then got hurt celebrating and missed the rest of the game.
Welcome to the party, Jr.
Asshole.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:34 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
and
Ohio State shoots themself in the foot after a great play. 2nd & 10 from the LSU 15.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
this
Horrible formation by tOSU - empty backfield on 3rd & 4 from the 9, thus allowing LSU to stand in a zone and wait for Boeckman to clumsily plod into them. Wow, that was stupid.
They settle for a FG.
I won't forget that call.
10-0, OSU
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
1st down - Tigers
"The first 1st down was key for LSU. Now they need to score points."
/ announcer dude channeling Madden
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Hester
Is about to fumble, since the announcers just said he never fumbles.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
wow
Ohio State's D looks like a team that hasn't played a game in 6 weeks - guys are just standing around looking for someone else to do their job.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:51 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
and
another terrible formation, this time by the OSU D. LSU had 3rd & 1 from the 14 and the Buckeyes had splits on their D line you could drive a truck through. They literally created a hole for LSU to run through.
Snap out of it, Tressel, the game is happening right now! COME ON!
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:53 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
ok
LSU runs a worthless play (after a timeout) on 3rd & 13, settling for a FG.
10-3, OSU
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 7:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Fox
Is creaming in their pants right now at the possibilities of QB ball suckage. Next weekend they have Favre, Romo, and bad Manning to talk about.
Note to self: stay away from Fox pre-game shows next weekend.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
punt
Ohio State punts, misses a couple tackles, then LSU's return guy (Jones? I think) fumbles. After a scramble, LSU recovers it... and then LSU inexplicably taunts after recovering their own fumble. I think they just broke new ground in taunting. I don't believe I've ever seen a guy completely uninvolved in a play taunt his opponent after a teammate scrambles to recover a fumble.
Noice!
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
slam
Hester just trucked OSU's safety, leaving him in a heap on the ground.
Ohio State looks tired and we're 30 seconds into the 2nd qtr.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:11 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Ohio State
Makes me look smart by committing personal fouls, out of laziness and fatigue, on consecutive plays, leaving LSU with 1st & goal.
Let the beatings begin.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
TD
LSU scores an uncontested TD on 1st & goal.
10-10.
Ohio State needs to get their second wind and regroup fast, or they're going to get humiliated.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
holy hell
Beanie Wells just fucking electrocuted Chevis Jackson with a stiff arm, literally knocking him to the ground, and continuing for another smooth 20+ yard run.
Thing is, the Buckeyes need to take their time here on this drive, to give their bewildered D a breather.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:19 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
sigh
and OSU gets ANOTHER personal foul called on them, moving them back to midfield.
Jesus Christ, guys, get your shit correct.
For fuck's sake.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:20 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Robiskie
Just dropped a TD. Nice play by LSU.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:20 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
jesus christ (jebus christ?)
is anyone here besides jebushchrist?
hello? is this thing on? [taps mic]
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 8:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I know
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 8:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
also stretched too thin
The Buckeyes. Are you kidding me with this shit? They're the #1 defense in the country, they've had 6 weeks to prepare, and LSU doesn't even have a good offense. This is an absolute embarrassment.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 8:50 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
haven't you heard?
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 8:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm so glad I'm at work
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 8:51 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
wow
I'm on record as saying I hate the Buckeyes, in particular their coach, but this is hard to watch. I cannot imagine the pain of being a Buckeye fan right now.
You have 6 weeks, hell, a year, to prepare for this night. You jump out early, then spend the next quarter and a half wandering around listlessly like you're at a fucking photo shoot and not a football game. This is what I've noticed, thus far from OSU:
- a horrible defensive scheme
- milquetoast, predictable offensive formations
- horrible situational gameplanning on both sides of the ball (see: comments above)
- horrible conditioning (i can haz Mike Hart's stationary bike?)
- lazy tackling
- Ted Ginn Jr. on the sidelines (they couldn't get Maurice Clarett? least he won a title)
- inability to maintain emotional composure
- a complete lack of intensity at the point of attack
- no teamwork
- no apparent interest in winning a national championship
- no leadership on the field
I'm disgusted and ashamed for my conference.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and it's all the more surprising
This is a team, or at least a coach, who knows better. Who should understand what it takes, and who has spent the last 6 weeks talking about how they're going to be ready this time.
With the exception of the boring offense, everything else here is out of character from them.
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 9:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
what the fuck?
Is Jamarcus Russell planning on hosting Supermarket Sweep later tonight?
Nice sweater, man.
And way to annunciate on tv.
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
seriously
Bill Cosby looked at that sweater and he was like, "that is an ugly sweater, boy! you got to get yourself a jeellllooooo pudddinnggg POP!"
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:20 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I...
have no idea what Jamarcus Russell just said. Not a word.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
and
why does every student at Trinity look like they just were greeted by the Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol?
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:21 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
eaux neaux!
Perrillouxoux is in the game. Not what the Buckeyes needed to see.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:25 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I heard
he wants to get the W for Britney Spears.
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 9:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
also
Britney could use some Zoloft.
and some sleep.
and some veggies.
and some panties (crotchless do not count).
and a husband who doesn't end all sentences with "yo".
and Supernanny.
and a treadmill.
and some sensible shoes.
and stock in Frito Lay.
and a chauffer.
and some nice white pants to go with her straight-jacket.
and some conditioner.
and smaller sunglasses.
and some sturdier backup dancers.
and a new stylist.
and an island (with no Tiki bars).
and some unconditional love.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
gnnnnnnnnn
Again, with the 4 foot splits between D linemen from tOSU on 3rd & 1.
Make it stop.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
broken record
again, with the splits in short yardage
Does OSU not have someone in the booth? I mean, someone's lookin' at the 22, right?
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Call it!
T.O.D. - 9:37 CST.
Cause of death - sloth
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:38 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Considering
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 9:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
To be fair
They came off awhile ago, I just didn't mention it.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Attention recruits!
When considering your offers, keep this in mind...
Come to Iowa!
Beautiful campus!
Plenty of playing time for those of you who aren't arrested!
A coach who won't leave despite many rumors!
Absolutely guaranteed not to embarrass yourself on national tv getting waxed in the title game!
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 9:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
hoenstly
Anyone who watched this "game" with any knowledge at all will know this has nothing to do with speed.
If someone tries to say this was about SEC speed, you can stop arguing with them because they're a fool and not worth arguing with.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:47 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
nice
Call by the official.
OSU is due for a personal foul, no?
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:53 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
bad
Call by OSU. Run right at Dorsey on 3rd & 1?
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 9:55 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Matt Flynn
Just got JACKED UP!
Wow, he crumpled like Tyler Donovan there. Ouch.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
hey
Someone remind me to watch the Terminator show.
I'm sure I won't see another commercial for it before it airs.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
There's a Terminator show?
I've been living in a cave
on Mars
and I'm dead.
oh...wait...I might have heard something about it
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 7, 2008 10:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Total no pants count: 2
jebus, what was that about declaring a time of death?
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
it's about fucking time
you showed up.
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 10:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
You know what it's about time for?
Seeing some cocks in this thread. $5 for dickshots!
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It's not over!
Nothing is over until we decide it is!
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:18 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it uh...
Actually looks pretty good. It beats the shit out of American Gladiators.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
yeah
I kinda did. American Gladiators sucks.
Lena Headey is smoking hot. Also, the show has robots, time travel, and things blow up. I'm there.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:18 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Oh yeah?
Where's the goatee, smart guy?
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Budweiser
They were the first with refrigerated railcars?! I'm switching to Bud Diesel right fucking now!
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:15 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
oh no
did anyone see Boeckman get fucking clotheslined and fly through the air?
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 10:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
yeah
It looked like he got the boots from the Macho Man coming off the top rope.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it's
the crunchy/chewy/cheesy/melty wife!
If anyone needs a divorce, it is that guy.
by dmbmeg on Jan 7, 2008 10:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Les might fake this.
If not, well, he totally should.
Or he could back the team up five and do that. That too.
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:22 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Tick... tick... tick...
I think LSU is totally fine with trading a first down for 90 seconds, by the way.
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Best
clock management I've seen this side of Andy Reid.
Best = Worst
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:31 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wah wah wahhhhh...
That will be just about enough from Ohio State.
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:32 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
That'll probably do it.
(switching to the Colbert Report, lighting a heroin cigarette)
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Way to go out on a limb!
I called it an hour ago.
(See: my 68th comment above)
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The mere luck and hubris of an egomaniac.
Jebus: Wrong for college football punditry, wrong for America.
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I only read your comment
because I saw my name in it. I didn't understand all of those words, but I think you said I like hummus, which is completely not true.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:40 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
HEY
What the fuck is wrong with hummus?!
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 7, 2008 10:42 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Um
It's a sheep's belly?
Read a book, dude.
Jesus.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and
I hate hummus.
The circle is complete.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
before
you head out the door, watch the video, it's only about 20 seconds long.
Ohio State is the white dude ;)
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:37 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Jim Tressel
is the most joyless gum chewer I've ever seen in my life.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:41 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Obviously
You didn't watch the Western Michigan game
by Hawkeye State on Jan 7, 2008 10:44 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I
have no recollection of any such game.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 10:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Is this the end?
Yes. And good riddance.
by jebushchrist on Jan 7, 2008 11:00 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Just 1
That was all the work of one extremely bored man.
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 8, 2008 12:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

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