Are You There God? It's Me, Hawkeye State

by Hawkeye State on Sep 17, 2007 6:54 PM CDT in News Comment 7 comments

Armageddon
Come Armageddon!
Come Armageddon! Come!
Everyday is like Sunday
Everyday is silent and gray

So, yeah, I'm still listening to Morrissey. And drinking. Heavily.

When the game ended, I spent 45 minutes on the phone with my buddy EK. We discussed playcalling. We discussed another year of receivers who can't receive. We discussed the never-ending disappointment that comes with following this team. When that call ended, my dad called, and he reduced that entire conversation to six words:

"Both those teams are horse shit."

You can waste time talking about Ken O'Keefe's continuing lack of imagination (to blatantly steal from RUTS, we're obviously running an offensive playbook Kenny Boy copied from Tecmo Bowl), why the man continues to resist anything that might be successful, why ISU blitzes all day long and KOK's response is to throw one screen pass. You can discuss defensive playcalling which puts your middle linebacker on a receiver in a sure-fire pass situation, or our apparent resistance to such newfangled concepts as the nickel package, or the fact that we absolutely cannot defend the spread offense (for a breakdown of defending the spread - and a look at something Norm Parker will never do - look at this breakdown). You can discuss a recruiting philosophy which apparently seeks out receivers who can't catch and cornerbacks who can't cover.

The fact remains that, despite JHC's best late-night efforts, Captain Kirk and his band of boring men aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Norm might give it up for health reasons, but he'll leave on his own terms. O'Keefe, whose only qualification for the job was being friends with Ferentz (a DIII - yes, that's three I's - National Championship at Allegheny and one 4-7 year at I-AA Fordham), won't be going anywhere due solely to nepotism. So, while a discussion of the credentials and performance of our coaching staff is warranted, it is also useless.

We've started seasons like this before; only once has a Ferentz-coached Iowa team escaped September unscathed, and it was because 9/11 canceled a week of games. We've watched them turn around. Maybe Morrisey's wrong. Maybe Armageddon isn't here just yet. But it's close, and Wisconsin is five days away.

And ISU? Just remember that we came home to this:

And when the party is over, you still have to go home to this...

Sweet dreams, motherfuckers.

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blondie there

Ja think, blondie there might be able to kick off inside the 5? That would make me wet. It's embarrassing to kick off and have people waiting for the damn ball somewhere around the the 18.

by Bellanca on Sep 17, 2007 7:33 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Jack Kerouac said it.

"The prettiest girls in the world live in Des Moines."

Or Iowa City, but whatever.

-- Run Up The Score! http://runupthescore.wordpress.com

by Run Up The Score on Sep 17, 2007 11:27 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Damn Right

He also said Rock Island smells like sawdust and steam. Of course, when given the choice, I took Rock Island. Yep, I'm an idiot.

by Hawkeye State on Sep 18, 2007 12:53 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ya know...

O'keefe was considered a genius when we were leading the nation in scoring offense, and nobody complained about Parker when we shut down spread offenses like Northwestern and Texas Tech.

Is it personnel, execution or merely ISU making adjustments we didn't make? I don't think it's the scheme.

Also, I was driving through campus yesterday, and yes, that little video is representative of the average Iowa co-ed. Hot women, everywhere.

by rocky on Sep 18, 2007 7:11 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Stay the Course

Yep, you said it yourself - it's not really the scheme per se, it's the staunch refusal to make adjustments of any kind based on the available talent and on what the opposition is doing. Nine in the box? Gut, gut, gut. LBs dropping into coverage/comitting to defending the pass? Throw it into coverage! A 4.2-speed wideout in the slot? Put a LB on him!
Our helmets look cool at least.

by Bucketochicken on Sep 18, 2007 7:53 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Living in the Past

I think it's a fair point that KOK was anointed upon high and given scented oils and exotic spices when things were going well (2002-04). But he's on autopilot now, and the offensive nuance he showed back then has been replaced with zone run left, zone run right, 4 yard pass pattern, punt. I don't think he even watches game film of the opposition anymore.

As for Norm, I'm not familiar with these shutdowns you speak of. Northwestern? We haven't beaten Northwestern since 2002 (yeah, read that statement again and tell me there's not trouble in paradise). If you're talking the 2000 game, well, you go ahead and pin your argument to a team that went 3-8 with losses to ISU and Western Michigan. Tech was a decent performance, to be sure, but Tech doesn't run a true spread (4 receivers to move linebackers/safeties and run the football).

The fact remains that Michigan fans are complaining because their coaching staff won't run a particular version of the nickel against spread teams. WE DON'T EVEN RUN THE NICKEL! Think about it: We're running a defense that's an entire generation behind what Lloyd Freaking Carr is running. That, my friend, is completely unacceptable.

by Hawkeye State on Sep 18, 2007 8:57 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Iowa has a history of results against the spread.

Yes - Northwestern has our number - although it's not all on the defense by any means - defense did OK, but the offense was non-existent last year, and two years ago we fell asleep at the wheel with a 2 touchdown lead - NU hadn't done anything to that point. But we always do well against Purdue - no one remembers this. Last year they were the only team we covered against in the regular season. We went into they're place and beat them by three scores in '05, and we beat them in 2004 (although we seemingly took our foot off of the gas after one quarter in that game). The last time Purdue ate us up on offense was in 2002, the game Iowa had no business winning. We ended Roethlisberger's Heisman run in 2003, and dominated Arizona State's well regarded spread offense two games later.

This team has a history of good performances against spread offenses. They aren't some sort of boogeyman that we can't do anything against.

They only gave up 15 points and no touchdowns on Saturday, I'm not worried about the defense.

We have Nickel and Dime packages. No one would even know Bradley Fletcher's name if we didn't. Do we use them as often as, say 90% of other teams? No. Do I have a problem with that? No.

by Not Marv Cook on Sep 18, 2007 3:22 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs