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P.S. I HATE YOU

                     

Ezekiel 25:17
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.

It is so easy in this state to get into the muck and argue about Iowa versus Iowa State. I didn't start this blog to talk about you, Iowa State fan. I've been trying hard to focus on Iowa and ignore you. I've had many opportunities to take shots at you and passed. There was the Chizik-Nickel , the team chaplain, and the season ticket fiasco. But I took the high road for once in my life.  Then you lost your first game to a team named the Golden Flashes and I still tried to cut you some slack. However, after this past weekend when you lost, at home, to Division I-AA Northern Iowa I heard some disturbing stories coming out of Ames. I heard you were booing your team, your new head coach (in his 2nd game), and Brett Meyer (who's about to become your all-time leading passer). The last straw was when I received a phone call saying that you celebrated at half-time of the game you were losing to Northern Iowa by burning a paper-mache rocket with Iowa written on the side. You are so focused on a game you can't win that you can't manage to get a win in the only game you have a chance to win all season. You've left me with no choice.

Ezekiel 25:17 And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

Let's be clear here, Cyclone fan. You're the fucking Cyclones. Are you so dim and myopic that you've forgotten what that means? It means you're in Ames. It means you're in Ames (I think it's important that I say that twice). You had the worst football program of the 80's, the funniest of the 90's, and the most disappointing of the 00's. You should thank the heavens that you can get anyone to come to your school, let alone an athlete with any discernible talent. For fuck's sake, you have the shittiest stripper bar I've ever been to (and I've been to East Dubuque). You have the worst tailgates I've even seen. Two years ago, I was at Jack Trice on gameday when you were actually challenging for the Big 12 North title (which of course, you choked away with a loss, at home, to Kansas, because you can't kick a field goal). For four (4) hours I tried to give away a pair of tickets at the 50-yard line, and could not do it. I couldn't give away tickets to people who were already at the game! Why would you boo your new coach and your team? Do you think they aren't trying? Do you think they will play better? You aren't just booing the team or the coaches. You're booing everyone who supports your program. You're booing the little kid who got all excited to go to the game on put on his Todd Blythe jersey. You're booing the prospective recruits who are visiting your school and are standing on the sidelines for the game. You're booing the fool next to you who had to shuck a million ears of corn to buy the season tickets to go to the game to stand in front of you to listen to you boo.
Bitch, you a stupid bitch.

Jules Winnfield: I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

 

I didn't want it to be like this, Cyclone fan. I was tryin' real hard to be the shepherd. See, unlike you, I love college football. I love my team. I love my coach. If I'm at an Iowa game and I hear someone booing my team while I'm standing there, I tell them to shut their fucking mouth. You're supposed to stick up for your boys, you fucking weasels, not attack them from behind. I don't hate Iowa State, or the players, or the coaches.
I hate you, mother fuckers. This isn't the end, it's only the beginning.
See you tomorrow!

0 recs | Comment 17 comments

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wait

Wait a minute.

You mean there is another university in Iowa with a football team? IN THE BIG 12?

I thought the Cyclones were just the local HS football team.

by dmbmeg on Sep 11, 2007 6:51 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

a more powerful THC
New site looks great guys!!  Nice job.  It's like the old THC but with more purple hairs!
Ha!  A Gonzo's pubes reference!  Sweet.

Anyhoo, fuck the Clones and all that good stuff.  I really do try to root for them when appropriate (they're still in Iowa, after all), but a vocal portion of their fanbase makes it awfully difficult to do so regularly (kinda' like with the White Sox and their oh-so-classy fans (but more Aryan-looking)).  Of course this week that all goes by the wayside, and I wish nothing less than massive amounts of pestilence and itchy scabby embarrassment upon the whole (hole?) of Cyclone Nation.  Oh and fuck Jamie Pollard while we're at it.  Not literally of course - even if the Bucket did dig on the dudes he's got that weird needleheaded ferretface thing going on and seriously, fuck that.  So yeah, aISU (a definite article?  I think not) O-Line comprised largely of kids who've barely had time to put away their FFA jackets much less actually play a siginificant amount of downage at the college level vs the bloodthirsty pelvis-shattering neo-Rothian DL of Iowa?  Have a nice day, Brett!  No way I'm automatically writing this one off as a W, as I remember all to clearly the latter D-Mac years, but I mean, really, come on.  UNI?  Not that I ever thought you'd actually beat the Panthers, but still.  At home?  Jeez guys, that's positively... positively... well, Cyclone-like.
And as for the three painted lads pictured above...  I wonder which one is - oh never mind.
So anyway... what was I saying about THC?  

by Bucketochicken on Sep 11, 2007 7:18 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I CALL FOUL

I really do try to root for them when appropriate (they're still in Iowa, after all)

That's sports bisexuality.

by dmbmeg on Sep 11, 2007 10:02 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"try"

I try to root for them.  I'm not necessarily successful at it.

by Bucketochicken on Sep 11, 2007 10:29 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

RE: Booing

Sometimes when you're at a game, there are people called "scalpers" and they sell tickets to people who go to the stadium without tickets who hope to get into the game. You probably aren't familiar with them in Ames. Also, tickets on the 50 are better than other tickets, so if you can have them for free, you should take them even if you already have tickets. Hope I cleared that up for you.

I don't see what Cyclone fans booing has to do with losing to Northwestern but if you want to swap box scores I can send you hundreds that show Iowa State is really bad at winning games.

by jebushchrist on Sep 11, 2007 7:24 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

ISU football--just plain weird.

ISU football is like a kid who suddenly finds out he's allergic to peanuts, so he throws out all of his Skippy and switches to Jif.

ISU plays football like it's allergic to it. And the fans support it in the same way.

Scalpers? What are they? Hey, let's charge $90 a ticket to the Iowa game! And force everyone to buy a season's worth to get one! Wow, we can't even sell out the B12 North Champ game! The contract goes thru 2020--with us getting 20% of Iowa's home revenues!

Hey, stop calling us the 'little brother,' Iowa fans! 23-3!! 23-3!!

I would give my left nut to drop these turds from our schedule. In fact, I would give both nuts and a kidney.

by The Director on Sep 11, 2007 8:33 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Still In RE: Booing

Wow, you're like, obsessed with this ticket thing? I didn't pay for the tickets. I was given 2 sets of 2 tickets on the 50. No one wanted them.
Then end.

Wasn't talking about embarrassing scores at Iowa, I'm sorry you're too stubborn to understand my story. Iowa State fans were booing and they shouldn't have.

by jebushchrist on Sep 11, 2007 9:52 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Again, with the booing

You go ahead and point to where I said Iowa never booed their team.
I do find it interesting that you don't bother to deny anything I said about Ames though, since you know it's true.

by jebushchrist on Sep 11, 2007 10:07 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Why does anyone care about ISU?

I came of age as a Hawkeye fan when the rivalry was anything but.  Iowa fans during the 80's and 90's rarely cared what ISU fans said because, well, we beat them like a rented mule every year.  That is why I found it so interesting a few years ago when I found Iowa and ISU fans talking smack to one another on some message board or another.  I guess a little success goes a long way.

Anyway, I still don't care much about the Cyclones but I do get some sort of perverse pleasure out of watching them fail over and over again.  I guess in a world of constant change, it is nice to have one constant.  

by Enoch on Sep 11, 2007 10:28 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This is your analysis?

I've been a Hawkeye fan my whole life, living throughout the state and on the west coast.  But you don't even need to be familiar with the Hawks and Clones to see this "their fans are jerks" tirade as pure garbage.  I've heard plenty of Cyclone fans argue that all Hawkeye fans are assholes.  Both sides come armed with a few cherry-picked examples of bad behavior from which to damn the whole group.

So you don't think fans should boo their own team?  Many would agree that's the mark of a true fan.  And while you don't do it, that doesn't mean that other Hawkeye fans don't.  Take this lead from a Press-Citizen story from Nov. 6 of last year:

"Some disturbing but telling voices from the past returned to Kinnick Stadium on Saturday. You could hear them loud and clear in the moments after the Iowa football team's 21-7 loss to Northwestern. As the Iowa players and coaches headed up the tunnel toward their locker room, they were accompanied by a steady chorus of boos, and some remarks that aren't suitable for a family newspaper."

What do you know, Hawkeye fans are capable of bad behavior, just like Cyclone fans and ALL OTHER FANS.    That's what makes these type of arguments so reductionist and worthless.  I understand if you want to show your passion at the game, beat your chest and talk some shit.  But don't waste people's time posting it like it's some valuable analysis of this rivalry.

SportsBlog Nation is usually a reliable link to intelligent fan sites.  I'm surprised to find something like this.

by givemeabreak on Sep 11, 2007 11:35 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Ha!

So you don't think fans should boo their own team?  Many would agree that's the mark of a true fan.

That's pretty much all you had to say to prove yourself to be a complete fool. You sound like a great fan.

However, since you clearly didn't read my post, I'll explain it to you. I was criticizing Iowa State fans for booing their team because they have unreasonable expectations of success. Their team is bad and to boo them for losing is pointless.

What Iowa fans did at a game last year is unrelated, but since you brought it up, I will point out that I was in Iowa City for the Northwestern game and I saw a lot of players and coaches not giving their best efforts. It was a talented bunch of guys who seemed disinterested in the game. I didn't boo, but I can see why people did. Again, that's unrelated to this post, but there's your analysis.

Maybe you should go back to reading newspapers where you won't have to be threatened by people with opinions that frighten you.

by jebushchrist on Sep 12, 2007 12:59 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As Teddy put it...

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Get the fuck out of here with your "that's the mark of a true fan" shit. Booing is ugly and horrible. Doesn't matter who does it. Doing it during your new coach's second game ever as a head coach is, well, exclusively ISU's domain.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Sep 12, 2007 7:26 AM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

go away

I will smack you across the face with a bag of Gene Chizik Commemorative Coins if you do not shut up.

by dmbmeg on Sep 12, 2007 3:03 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Two points...

Rooting for ISU? - F-that.  I cheer for Iowa, and whomever is playing Iowa State.

And booing sucks, only boo the other team.

by Not Marv Cook on Sep 12, 2007 11:02 AM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Agreed...to a certain point

I don't like booing college athletes.  After all, they're just kids, and in theory at least, they're not being paid for their services.  Sure, they get a scholarship, but they don't get a paycheck.

I have no problem booing professional athletes because they are PAID to do a job.

Outside of that, I will never cheer for ISU.  Ever.  That decision was made after I visited a buddy who was a student at ISU a while back and I wore my Iowa hat on campus.  Dirty looks are to be expected, which I got plenty of, but more than that I was called anything you can think of that's derogatory in nature.  Ridiculous at best.  FUCK the Cyclones right in their stupid ear.  Right in the ear I say.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Sep 12, 2007 12:31 PM CDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Memo to Commenters

I didn't think this needed to be said but I guess it shouldn't surprise me that it does. I just had to ban and delete someone for making homophobic remarks. There is a zero tolerance policy here for homophobic and racist statements. They won't be tolerated here anymore than they are in the world.
Trash talking can be fun. If you have a point to make I'm happy to argue about it. Let's stick to football hate from here on out.

by jebushchrist on Sep 12, 2007 5:58 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I've never booed at a game--ever!

But I'm not such a wuss that I don't think it's sometimes ok:

  1. Always okay to let the visitors have it when they take the field. It's expected. It fires us up and it probably fires them up. It ain't business--it's personal. Or maybe it's the other way around. And it's sometimes necessary.
  1. I didn't mind the fans booing Iowa at the NW game. Didn't do it myself, but golly gee whillikers, how listless and brain-dead does a team have to play against one of the worst B10 teams AT HOME before a crowd tha paid $40 a ticket starts to buck a little? Please don't make me consider it this year, Hawkeyes.
Search your soul--you know I'm right.

by The Director on Sep 12, 2007 6:42 PM CDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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