Dan Bohall tries to out-awesome Clint Huntrods, fails

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 3, 2007 1:04 PM CST in News

Wonderful news from the Hillcrest dormitory early this morning, as guard Dan Bohall was arrested for public intoxication. In a dorm he doesn't live in. On the crapper. Yep.

According to police, Daniel Stephen Bohall, 21, a sophomore guard from Sioux City, was found lying in a locked stall with no shirt on at 5:09 a.m. Police said Bohall did not initially wake up when he was moved and when he did wake, he had poor balance, slurred speech and smelled of alcohol. Bohall allegedly admitted to drinking.

Clearly, Bohall was looking for Clint Huntrods' tried and true winning formula of severe intoxication and bodily fluids, but we've got to say that unless some additional evidence comes out that he was at least decorated, Mr. Huntrods remains Captain Awesome.

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I think it's in towards the back, but...

Doesn't the Koran say something about "Let he who has not passed out while on the crapper cast the first stone"?

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Dec 3, 2007 2:29 PM CST 0 recs

whatever

I could out-awesome them all back in my day.

Hell, I could out-awesome them all now--and I'm 27.

But in Bohall's defense, sometimes the toilet is a nice place for a nap when you've stayed out til 4am doing shots of Jameson and had to be at work at 9am. Not like I would know anything about that....er, yeah.

by dmbmeg on Dec 3, 2007 2:51 PM CST 0 recs

Solid

At least he was not found in the ladies room.

I heart bobby da hitman

by MacG on Dec 3, 2007 3:02 PM CST 0 recs

Breaking News:

College Student acts like...well, a college student.

Come on now, who HASN'T passed out near the crapper at some point? I think we've all been there.

by Adam on Dec 3, 2007 3:09 PM CST 0 recs

Well yes

I passed out near the crapper, but it was in my own apartment not a public restroom.

Do you think he was drinking because the Hawks didn't make it to a bowl this year?

by Mexihawk on Dec 3, 2007 3:53 PM CST up 0 recs

oops

I guess it goes to show how little I have watched the basketball games this year....I didn't realize that Dan was a B-ball player and not a Football player.

by Mexihawk on Dec 3, 2007 4:00 PM CST up 0 recs

Clearly, this is a case for Cirroc

However, in his stead, I'd like to say the following:

It is not public intox if you're in a bathroom stall. Nothing on god's green earth is more sacred and private than a bathroom stall. How dare you, RA that dropped a dime on him?!?

If it's a crime to remove your shirt and take a poo nap whilst drunk, then lock me up and throw away the key. Make it life.

He's 21, not a minor, so he better not have an example made out of him.

Free Bohall!

Thank you.

by jebushchrist on Dec 3, 2007 8:31 PM CST 0 recs

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

"Sometimes, when I receive a fax, I wonder, 'Are there tiny monsters inside the machine that are controlling what I see?' I don't know. My caveman mind doesn't grasp these concepts.

"But there is one thing I do know. I know that when a man, such as my client, is found shirtless in a public bathroom stall, he has quite obviously been assaulted by Idaho senator Larry Craig, and is therefore absolved from all criminal liability. Thank you."

/Cirroc

by Hawkeye State on Dec 4, 2007 7:44 AM CST up 0 recs

What kind of perve...

What kind of perve SUI Phony-Cop wanna-be Clint Eastwood patrols toilets at 4 a.m.?

Seriously, where are these ill-mannered youth supposed to go to binge-drink and self-abuse and fucking hide -- if not the men's room?

Seems to me Mr. Bohall acted in good sense and logic aforethought.

He just didn't bet on some asshole teacher's pet (likely pre-med asshole) calling the phony-cops and crying, "There's some dead dude in the stall in the Hillcrest dorm and I'm really scared and it's too early for me to call my mommie because she needs her sleep and would you just come over here and get his dead ass out of my dorm I have a big test today and I'm worried I'm so upset that I won't do well and then I can't be some skinny-ass nonsmoking nondrinking arch motherfucker MD in 10 years ..."

Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Lower the drinking age to 16. It works really well in Europe, and we all know that they are superior.

by Bellanca on Dec 4, 2007 12:33 PM CST 0 recs