"Even as an apparently illiterate and obnoxious Illinois fan"

I can already see where this is going.  I'll start by telling you to take a freaking joke.

Even though the last few posts are kind of funny, I don't exactly understand their purpose, however. If Illinois happens to continue to play to form this weekend, what does that say about your program? And if you beat Illinois this weekend, as most would have expected prior to the beginning of the season, what joy do you get from it if you assume our coach and certain key players ride the short bus to practice?

The last few posts are meant to be funny.  I don't think any of us (well, maybe Jebus) thinks Ron Zook has a hair-smelling fetish, or threatens Big Ten Network reporters, or instant messages people incoherently at 4 a.m., or goes to raves.  Pull your head out of your ass and laugh for once.  Or go read that unfunny, joyless, exclamation point-laden Illinois blog that the anonymous guy has been linking to all week.

If we lose to Illinois, it says Illinois is better than us right now.  Illini is in the top 25.  We lost to Iowa State.  I think the jig is up.

If we beat Illinois, well, it probably shows that Ron Zook might be a great recruiter but isn't a very good game coach.  Of course, we already knew that (see:  Florida, University of).

I am in the unfortunate situation of growing up a cub fan and an Illinois fan in central Illinois.

Shit, a Cubs fan.  Now it all makes sense.  Why do all you Cubs fans want us to throw a fucking pity party every time you mention this curse you've hoisted upon yourself?  "Oh, I'm a Cub fan!  Oh, but we had Bartman!  Oh, but there was the billy goat!"  Maybe your suckitude has something to do with the fact you constantly sell out your ballpark and allow ownership to rake in the dough without shelling out one penny for talent.  Yeah, you're loyal.  You're dedicated.  You stay with it even though they break your heart.  That's an abusive relationship, broseph.  So either deal with it or break up.  Either way, I don't give a damn about the fucking Cubs.

[W]hat drives me nuts about Iowa, besides the whole Deon Thomas Affair, is a seeming sense of entitlement that I can't really understand.

You know Deon Thomas happened two whole generations of basketball coaches ago, right?  Again, get over it.

As far as entitlement goes, take a look at Illini hoops, then get back to me.

You kids have a universally acknowledged good head coach, but you are seemingly calling for his head. We can't understand this. Illinois has had, in order, Mike White (cheater... Big Big Big CHEATER... SEC level of payments to players and such), John Mackovic (good coach at the time... We would have erected statues to him if he would have stayed and performed at least as well in Champaign as he did in Texas), Lou Tepper (Ugh... He meant well, but good god...), Ron Turner (above average offensive coordinator who never bothered with recruiting) and now Ron Zook (Top notch recruiter, admittedly questionable coach...

First, don't call me kid, son.

Second, nobody in their right mind is calling for Ferentz's termination.  Components of his staff, certainly, but not the top dog himself (unless he refuses to change anything, and we keep getting Drew Tate interviews ripping the playcalling and character of the team.)

Your diminished expectations for football are cute, but you can't seriously tell me it's any different for Illini basketball.  Yes, you have Chicago to recruit from, but don't you also have that source for football?  It seems to me, your excuses for Illinois' place in the food chain are nothing more than a rationalization for decades of indifference by your fanbase.  As for your never-ending parade of horrible coaching, well, that's your own damn problem.  Again, I'm not crying for you because you can't find a football coach.  It's your own damn fault.

It's all Zook, man. Also, no one is funnier than EDSBS, so let's cut that shit right now.

I admit, I have said that on occasion. I also like to tell haughty adults that I will take things from them and put them on top of the refrigerator so they can't reach them.
I am a tall asshole.

It makes me happy that the ZookHook is in Big 10 country. We need coaches like him to add a little flava to our casserole. Also, it's funny. If you don't think so, you're an asshole.
Go read a newspaper you humorless assplug.

As for the head of Kirk Ferentz... Well... The guy has shown incredible loyalty to your program. He could have bolted in the past to more lucrative positions, but he stayed. I know there are  mitigating factors involved, but these are signs of someone of high character. People of this mindset aren't going to throw other folks (his friends/assistants) under the bus to protect himself for future gain, just like he didn't leave for his own future gain. So to demand him to  is tantamount to calling for his head. We may disagree here, but that is the only way I can see it. Ferentz is a good coach and a good man. You are lucky to have him.

Listen, I love the man as if he was a member of my own family.  But to say he shouldn't have to fire an incompetent assistant because that assistant is his friend is idiotic.  I'm friends with the people I work with, but that shouldn't save my job if I continually fail to do that job.  And if you listen to Iowa fans, crazy and not, there is a consensus on the fact that this offensive staff isn't doing its job.  Are we lucky to have him?  Yeah, sure.  But let's not kid ourselves on the "more lucrative" positions he had available.  He never took those jobs, but he sure flirted well to get himself a string of contract extensions that have put him in the top 5 highest-paid college coaches (and he should; keep looking out for #1, Kirk).  Sure, he's been loyal to the program, but let's not act like he's doing this at cut rate for love of the game.

And it's not like you guys are immune from this.  Bruce Weber took you to a national championship game just three years ago, and his reward is this.  And this.  And this.  And don't try to blame this on the "large, very moronic, vocal fan base."  It's not as if we don't have those assholes, and you seem to be more than willing to lump all of us Iowa fans together.

Letting go of the past, in some cases, is hard. I would think you would understand that, though.

Hey, I'm still waiting for my chance to kill Ronnie Harmon for the '86 Rose Bowl.  Believe me, I know.

Since 1960, I believe Iowa has won or shared five Big Ten football titles (Illinois had four during that time). During that stretch, there was a Duke-like 19 years without a winning record, though that was mostly prior to the Fry era. Yet, you expect 10 plus wins a year and to be a big ten title contender every year. I don't get it. Most of us illiterate Illinois football fans are happy when we don't completely embarrass ourselves on a yearly basis.

OK, first, this is the use of selective history we always get from ISU.  Yeah, we won or shared five B10 titles since 1960, but all of those were after 1981 (in that same period, Illinois has 3).  Five in 25 years is much better than 5 in 47.  The "Duke-like 19 years without a winning record" were all in that same 1960-1981 period.  For the average Iowa fan, 1981 was Magna Carta, and everything prior is ancient history.

Second, you are correct we don't have the in-state resources to build a contender.  And yet, we've seen it done before, and repeatedly.  Thre is an investment in this program (financially and emotionally) that entitles us to expect success.  I think you're wrong to say we expect 10 wins per year, but we certainly expect to win.

Michigan fans are insufferable due to their sense of entitlement, but at least they have one of the best records in Div 1 Football history. What is the 'man on the street' Hawkeye fan's excuse?

I still don't see where you get this.  Our obsession with Iowa football is no greater than your typical fan's obsession with Illinois basketball.  And we can deal with the occasional down year, just not the year-in, year-out mediocrity that seems close to occurring.  And, just like Yankees fans booing ARod, Iowa fans have been nickeled and dimed by the athletic department for the last 4 years (higher ticket and parking prices, mandatory booster donations for better seats).  They don't mind, but they expect a certain level of success for that money.  Sure, Iowa might not have the ideal recruiting base, but it has better facilities, financial support, and fans than programs twice its size.  This is a place where a coach can, and should, be successful.  Maybe not Michigan/tOSU successful, but successful nonetheless.

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