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BHGP BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 1: SETH GORNEY VS. JEBUSHCHRIST

Taxigun2_tiny by Oops Pow Surprise on in News

This is what we're voting on. Today: Father vs. Son!

SETH GORNEY

PROS: Was every bit the MVP of the Ohio State win as Justin Johnson was. Improved by leaps and bounds over his first three seasons. Has the best set of nicknames in Hawkeye history--The New Gornographer, Gorno For Pyros, Caligornication, Gornstar, Gornzilla, etc.

CONS: Got the Eagle/Globe/Anchor tattoo without ever joining the Marines, which neither we nor the Marines would recommend.

JEBUS H. CHRIST

PROS: Undisputed king of liveblogs. Is not wearing pants. Adopted Seth Gorney, undoubtedly fueling Gorno's resurgence.

CONS: Doesn't write nearly enough for BHGP.

Poll
Who wins?
  • Seth Gorney
  • jebushchrist

  183 votes | Results

0 recs | Comment 84 comments

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Comments

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Popularity contest?

Had I known this whole contest was going to be an homage to the writers / regular contributors to this site, I would have predicted my Final 4 accordingly.  I never knew I needed to bring my kneepads to the brackets...

by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 10:37 AM CDT   0 recs

Also--

Please don't confuse that for whining.  I just didn't want my brackets to be destroyed after only one round, which it appears as though they are.  Who knew the Harty Party didn't have as much power as I thought?

by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 10:40 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

piss off

you're shocked that a "contest" that involves voting is a popularity contest? Really?
Also, Gorney is going to crush me, so your theory doesn't hold water.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 10:44 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

"...your theory doesn't hold water."

Hey!  Just like Huntrods!  Cool!!

by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 10:50 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Thank you

I thought if I started with piss and included water, someone would go there. I should have known it'd be you, bucket.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 10:53 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

That wasn't necessary

I included that disclaimer b/c I don't care if y'all win -- I hate that my bracket got fucked so early, and I wish I would have known.

by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 10:57 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

whatever

You accused us of making people stroke us and it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm a 5 seed in my own bracket. HS has to defeat Guy F. Rucker. OPS had to vanquish digitally remastered regionally famous beat writer Pat Harty. This is a dog fight.
There is no favoritism.
And again, Gorney is winning.
Good day, sir!

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 11:10 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Uh, dude

Are you seriously making a big deal out of the fact that your BHGP Bracket Madness Bracket is ruined?

This is meant to be taken as seriously as AIDS. Which is not at all.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 14, 2008 11:25 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I told you

When we seeded this, I knew there'd be controversy. This is amazing.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 11:33 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Sarcasm

Apparently we cannot get true meanings across via text.  Jesus, you'd figure with your collective writing style, you could spot a joke.  My bad for not making my joke apparent enough (honestly).  While the Gornstar losing pains me, I'm certainly not legitimately mad about the bracket.  Goodness gracious.

by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 1:54 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Had I known

I never would have said anything about the voting.  Truly, you're some of the best writers out there and I come here at least 15 times a day, on the hopes that a new thread of comments has started.  No more gush after this, but I truly didn't mean to offend you.  I was only kidding.

by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 2:01 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I took it seriously.

Very seriously. J Leman did not however, which is why he lost.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 11:33 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

AIDS is soooooo 1990s

Cancer.  Now there's something to be taken seriously.

by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 11:36 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Were you watching

this season?  Huntrods, KOK, Hardy and Bohall suck.  The only decent first round games have been Dmbmeg/Leman and now Jebus/Gorney.  I predict Bellanca and HS will make quick work of their sorely overmatched opponents as well.
Is it a homage?  No, they talent pool is just diluted.

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 11:25 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

thank you

for calling me a "decent first round"

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 11:29 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Seriously? HS over GFR?

For all our sakes, I hope Life As A G isn't reading this or we're all fucked.  Guy Rucker will destroy us all.

by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 11:35 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Rucker?

Please, we have McMillan to protect us.  And destroy us all

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 12:42 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

There comes a point in every mans life

when he finds that his son can beat him.  This is both a proud and sad day.
However, today is not that day.  Viva Jebus!

(wait...he's losing?  hmmm...maybe it is that day.  Nevermind)

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 11:18 AM CDT   0 recs

You know

Now that the season is over, he's not really my son anymore. He failed.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:07 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

only

if you let me wear the swim cap and goggles at the wedding.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 11:36 AM CDT   0 recs

STOP TALKING ABOUT HER!!!

This is about me! Validate me (or seth)!!!11

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 11:44 AM CDT   0 recs

you're just jealous

cause I walked away from BHGP betrothed and you're gonna walk away defeated by your own flesh and blood.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 11:46 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Please

refrain from all Dodgeball quotes going forward or I will throw a wrench at your head.

Thank you,
The mgmt.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 11:50 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Correction

[removes goggles, swimcap, retainer, flips mushroom cloud over hunchback]

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:00 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

he's

just letting his Soul-Glo. Nothing wrong with that.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 12:01 PM CDT   0 recs

thank you, anonymous

for defending my honor. I assure you my exquisite breasts are 100% real. You'll find out on our wedding night.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 12:22 PM CDT   0 recs

nice

I like to think that all of these anonymous comments are coming from the same guy. Makes it more fun to see him alternately propose, then insult, then support Meg again.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:26 PM CDT   0 recs

WAIT

Anonymous is two different dudes? Or one?

This is going to make the wedding night confusing.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 12:32 PM CDT   0 recs

XBoxs

are more than capable of breaking themselves

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 12:40 PM CDT   0 recs

New Topic

Is anyone else wondering how J Leman is feeling today?

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:41 PM CDT   0 recs

he's probably

brushing his hair 100 times to ease the pain

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 12:43 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Wait....

you're anonymous hero as well?  and you're marrying 2 anonymous heroes?
This can't be legal in any state not named alabama

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 12:46 PM CDT   0 recs

J Leman visited BHGP

He checked the bracket out. Meg emailed with him too. I suppose he realized he couldn't win so he didn't compete.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:50 PM CDT   0 recs

I think we hit the over

on anonymous marriage comments, a few minutes ago.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:56 PM CDT   0 recs

let's try this again

How about we talk about the fact that Jebus only has 19 votes, yet all of you continue to come here and ask him for entertainment.

For shame.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 12:59 PM CDT   0 recs

I voted for Jebus

But only because Gorn on the Cob let me down, and in my mind, has already been taken on a quiet, fog-ensconced morning fishing trip on Lake Tahoe...

by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 1:06 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Damn straight!

Has Gorney ever entertained you?  Well, has he?

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 1:01 PM CDT   0 recs

in fact

I'm gonna say it now.

Jebus,

We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.

by dmbmeg on Mar 14, 2008 1:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Oh shit

The last time we mentioned Brian, all hell broke loose.  Thanks, Jeebs!

By the way, you're goddamn right I voted for you.

by Hawkeye State on Mar 14, 2008 3:15 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I hope so

I fucking hate squirrels.

by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 1:13 PM CDT   0 recs

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