I misread this game, so obviously I'm a putz.  

But if we have to get a new coach, no pleated Dockers, okay?  Reminds me of PTA meetings in Fairfax.

After all, we could have...  well, his name rhymes with "Crook."

I'm not ready to throw KF to the wolves just yet.  I wash my hands too, for fuck's sake.  But I completely agree about the emotion part.  I'd LOVE to see him go completely purple-faced Bobby Knight Sweet Lou apeshit crazy on a ref sometime and get ejected for it.  Do they even eject people in college football?  Anyway, yeah, I'd love to see him take a swing a Back Judge, or pick up Andy Brodell and throw him into the Gatorade table like a cowboy in a saloon fight.  I want some shit like that to happen and to have someone like a Bob Knight see it on Sports Center later and be all like, "Jesus dude, calm the fuck down."
I love KF, but the man needs 30 CCs of Rageahol, stat.

We scored on the opening drive of the Alamo Bowl.  Before that, it was sometime in the 2005 season.  That's terrible.

And I take back the part about wanting KF to throw Andy into the Gatorade table.  I want him to throw KOK into the Gatorade table.  

Never ever say, "it's just a football game."

Not ready to give up on KF et al quite yet, but I understand jebus's frustrations. It's time to change this shit up before I go into town and do it for them. Let's see some chairs being broken over backs.

I don't want to be mocked by the TSA agent at the Minneapolis airport for wearing an Iowa t-shirt anymore.

The enigma is that we can bitch all we want about KOK, but I don't see Ferentz pulling a Brian Billick and firing Fassell (KOK).  They taught in prep school together, 25 years ago.  There's some sort of megabond operating there.  And the upshot is we get to see our running backs turned into suicide bombers ("they'll slide left, you three stay home, he'll cutback and run into you and blow himself up"), and our QBs reduced to quivering basket cases by tanking WRs, indefinitely.

The fact is, we were out-coached in this game.  Their coach mapped out our obvious tendencies, his team did their homework, we played directly to character and type.  No screens, no swings.  No reverses.  Busch hasn't caught a pass since last year.  Even the obvious, pro-set 1998 bullshit plays we are leaving in the locker room.

It's like watching our offense go up against our own D in camp.  Everyone knows what we're going to do, because they've seen it now 8000 times.

At present, after three games against cupcakes, we are 11th in the Big Ten in total offense.

Well, we played pretty well at Michigan after losing 100-0 at Arizona.  One can always dream, and maybe PJ is too fat to play outside the hash marks and so we'll all agree to play the shrink offense.  All I have to do is dream ...

When was the last time an Iowa team entered Big Ten play last in total offense, and competed for a title?

Repeat: our playbook might as well be mailed to the opponents' DCs (and it might only take a first class stamp).  We have all drunk too much Kool-Aid here.  I don't care how bad Brewster, Bielema, Lynch, Fitzgerald are; they can game plan to defend a one-note samba offense and that means ... ughhh.

KOK's going to lose his players if Wisconsin does what ISU did, with better players.  Run four plays for nine years, and then say they're young and not executing?  

I mean, LAST?  After NIU, Cuse and the Clones?  Nine years in, and we are learning anew how to play offense like a first-year turnaround team?  And we are last in the league in total offense?  What nightmare is this?

Uggh.  Well, a guy can dream.  The dream goes, we're just playing rope-a-dope, possum, whatever, and we have an entire new offense that gets unveiled next week.  Dreaaaaaam dream.  Dream dream dream.  Dreaaaaaam.  Dream.

Oh.  The dream continued, and it's a nightmare.  We run the Wing-T next week.  Go, Massillon!  You guys are too young to remember the Delaware Wing-T and Bob Commings.  And good for you.

The single wing is probably a better fit.  Arghhh.

I don't have any serious complaints about the defense.  Only giving up 5 FG's, you really can't complain too much, but I understand those that do.

I put this loss squarely on the offense.  One touchdown and two FG's is completely unacceptable.  Period.  Against a team like ISU, I fully expected to score at least 42 points.  At the minimum.  I'm no great football mind, but a few new plays certainly couldn't hurt.  

Do something guys.

One of two things happen in Madison on Saturday:  

Either Iowa shows up to play and wins by a close score or they lose by at least 30 points.  One or the other.

We are well aware of The Orgeron, and we would whole-heartedly embrace his hire at the UI, even if it meant that our mothers would be forcibly pleasured by him before our eyes.