FanPost

The Beginning

In the beginning Aaron Craft created supreme "defense" on the basketball court. Now the court was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the arena, and the Spirit of Aaron Craft was hovering over the seats of the arena.

And Aaron Craft said, "Let there be supreme defense," and there was supreme -Aaron Craft like-defense. Aaron Craft saw that the defense was good, and he separated the bad defense from the great defense. Aaron Craft called the bad defense "defense," and the great defense he called "Aaron Craft supreme style defense." And there was Dan Dakich, who praised Aaron Craft for his defensive prowess—the first day.

And Aaron Craft said, "Let there be a no fouls called on me between the other players on the court to separate my supreme "defense" from other’s defense." So Aaron Craft made his supreme "defense" and separated the bad defense from his supreme "defense." And it was so. Aaron Craft called his defense stellar. And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

And Aaron Craft said, "Let the hoops be gathered to one place, and let officials turn a blind eye to my fouling." And it was so. Aaron Craft called the dry ground "court," and the gathered hoops he called "baskets." And Aaron Craft saw that it was good.

Then Aaron Craft said, "Let the officials produce fouls for: guards, forwards and centers on the court that play against me, according to their various kinds." And it was so. The court produced a playing surface: players according to their kinds and coaches according to their kinds. And Aaron Craft saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

And Aaron Craft said, "Let there be lights in the arena so that we can play during the day and the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred Aaron Craft supreme style "defense, to which, I cannot be called for fouls, and let there be "defense" on the court of the arena to give satisfaction to the fans on the earth." And it was so. Aaron Craft made two great defenses—the greater defense to govern the officials and the lesser defense to govern the court. He also made the basketball stars. Aaron Craft set them on the court of the arena to give supreme defense on the earth, to govern the officials and the court, and to separate supreme defense from bad defense. And Aaron Craft saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

And Aaron Craft said, "Let the court be ruled by me, and let the officials not call a single foul on me!" So Aaron Craft created the court and officials of the arena and every living fan with which, in the arena, teams and opponents move about in it, according to their team, and every mascot according to its kind. And Aaron Craft saw that it was good. Aaron Craft blessed them and said, "Be foul-full and increase in number and fill the bench of the arena, and let the fouls increase on the court." And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.

And Aaron Craft said, "Let the sport produce players according to their kinds: the center, the forwards that move along the baseline, and the guards, each according to its kind." And it was so. Aaron Craft made the players according to their kinds, the coaches according to their kinds, and all the officials that are not allowed to call fouls on Aaron Craft Almighty according to their kinds. And Aaron Craft saw that it was good.

Then Aaron Craft said, "Let us make defense in my image, in my likeness, so that my defense may rule over the players on the court and the reserves on the bench, over the coaches and all the fans, and even over all the Alumni that donate big dollars."

So Aaron Craft created defense in his own image, in the image of Aaron Craft he created defense; from great to the horrible defender, he created them.

Aaron Craft blessed his defense and said to everyone, "Be defensive and foul in number; foul them in the post and on the perimeter. Defend over the players on the court and the reserves on the bench and over every living coach that tries to beat my defense."

Then Aaron Craft said, "I give you every defensive-bearing ability on the face of the whole earth and every foul that has never and will never be called on me. They will be yours for playing intense "Aaron Craft" supreme style defense. And to all the players of the earth and all the reserves on the bench and all the coaches that plan against my superior "defense"—everything that has a ball and hoop in it—I give every player defensive prowess." And it was so.

Aaron Craft saw all the "defense" he had played, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Thus my "defensive" ability was completed in all its vast array.

By the seventh day Aaron Craft had finished his "defense;" so on the seventh day he rested on the bench from all his supreme "defense" he had been playing. Then Aaron Craft defended the seventh day and made "defensive" player of the week honors, because on it he rested from all the supreme "defense" he had done.




Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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