FanPost

To You, the Lady in the South End Zone at Kinnick:




I must apologize for not walking up a few rows, taking your hand, and whispering just how pretty you looked in the afternoon sunlight.

You see, I must explain my appalling lack of confidence. I'm a large man. Too large. And so, in the sultry heat of our afternoon, I was not smelling sweet, though you were looking sweet.

But, when I would occasionally stand up, and turn toward the scoreboard to find knowledge of other sporting events, I began to notice that someone was paying some attention to me. And I was quietly grateful.

You, and perhaps a nearby friend, who were approximately in the 20th row of the south end zone, in section 115, began to wave at me. While I have a certain charisma, I am not a beautiful man. And so, I began to check around, to see who you were waving at. Surely, it was some handsome devil, seated in a row beyond me, that you were interested in.

So, I acted cool. Too cool, really. I looked behind me, saw no one standing or waving back to you. I shrugged off this situation. I was at a football game, with 70,000 people in attendance. Surely, a pretty lady would not care about me.

And as I looked back up in your direction, you provided a signal. You made a motion to your face. You outlined, near you lips, an imaginary mustache. A mustache similar to the one that I wear.

It was at that point, that I should have allowed the elation that I felt carry me up to you. I should have walked up the 10 or 15 rows. I should have introduced myself. I should have made the passes at you that our quarterback was, at that moment, showing he could not make. I should have opened my heart like a gifted Hawkeye offensive lineman opens the defense. I should have acted with the steadfast confidence shown by one Mark Weisman, even if I should be tackled for a loss by your charms and the possibility of me stumbling over my own words. I should have offered to take you to a fine dinner after the game, as Ryan's in Cedar Rapids would be serving fine roasts and sumptuous desserts that very night.

But, no. I sat down. I wondered "was she really waving at me?" I watched the dance team, but they paled in comparison to you. I watched the football game, but it did not provide a feeling of happiness as your attention did.

And so, please know, that I will always remember today. I will not act creepy. I will not bother you. I will, with a quiet and dignified happiness, recall the afternoon at Kinnick, and the brown-haired woman who waved at me.

-- WaterlooChazz

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker