FanPost

HAMSTERDAM IS GEOGUESSNG

The topic has been batted around in several Hamsterdams, but in case there are a few of you not hip to what all the cool kids on the internet are (not) doing, here is a great way to waste an inordinate amount of time:

http://geoguessr.com/

It's a fairly simple concept: The game drops you in some random Google Streetview location somewhere in the world, and you try to point on the world map where that is. You can move around, zoom in, all the usual functions of Streetview, and also can zoom in easily on the map you're using to guess your location. You get 5 locations per turn, and the closer you get to each one the more points you get. Simple but devastatingly difficult at the same time.

So here's a few quick tips to help you get started:

1) Look for road signs, street names, anything to give you some names to guess by, or google by if you're a cheating jerk.

2) Here is a link to a very handy map showing which countries drive on the right (in red) and on the left (in blue) for when you see a car driving IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, OH MY GOD WATCH OUT

3) One thing you'll notice on that map is that both South Africa and Australia drive on the left. They both use primarily English road signs as well and they're oh, only about 10,000km apart, so guessing incorrectly between them is usually going to kill your score. They also have very similar-looking plants and similar dirt-filled climates. I don't have a lot of tips outside of hoping to see some black pedestrians (prolly South Africa), but I can offer you this one: Western Australia is a shitload of open red dirt. If you see distinctly red dirt, guess somewhere in that gigantic desert there and you'll hopefully get within 2,000km. Sorry I can't be more help. If it's any consolation, I hate South Africa and Australia just as much as you do.

4) If you think you're seeing Central or South America, you're probably in Brazil. I always get that wrong. There's apparently far more Google Street View locations in Brazil than the rest of South America combined so far as I can tell

5) You'll be surprised how drastically dangerous the roads look in Italy and Spain, so don't just assume you're somewhere in Central America when you see whitewashed brick houses in serious disrepair and the most dangerous-looking road you can imagine

6) If you get an Iowa location and incorrectly guess somewhere else, rules are you have to chug a beer. If you guessed somewhere in damned Minnesota, chug a bottle of Templeton as further penance.

7) I can guarantee you're in Illinois if you see the following: A freeway road sign that says "Road Construction Next 35 Miles" and you can tell they mean it. But then when you drive on those roads there's never anybody actually working ANYWHERE and they've basically just torn up one lane and moved traffic onto a shoulder for THIRTY FIVE MILES and used what must seriously be SIX MILLION ORANGE CONES. I mean, really, WHERE DO THEY KEEP ALL THOSE CONES when it's not construction season? So anyway, you're driving those THIRTY FIVE MILES with NOBODY WORKING and you're the entire time on the freeway with 45 MPH speed limits and "DOUBLE FINE ZONE" warnings because you can't hit construction workers BUT THERE'S NO DAMN CONSTRUCTION WORKERS and SERIOUSLY, THIS HAS BEEN THIRTY FIVE MILES AT 45 FUCKING MILES PER HOUR AND I JUST WANT TO GET SOMEWHERE AND I HATE THIS FUCKING STATE SO MUCH. So if you see that, you're in Illinois.

To Hamsterdam everybody. Blackhawks-Kings is currently on, plus other assorted sports, and probably some baseball to watch if you're over the age of 35.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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