SPOILERS IN HERE. OBVIOUSLY. DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE EPISODE. WE'RE NOT FORCING YOU TO READ ANYTHING PAST THIS AND IF YOU DO, YOU DON'T GET TO BE UPSET ABOUT IT.
Hawkeye fans across the state of Iowa and abroad were unsettled on Sunday night after watching a particularly brutal episode of Game of Thrones, a hit show on HBO. The "Red Wedding" episode, which culminates in the several prominent characters being ambushed and murdered at a wedding, caused Iowa fans to suffer unhappy flashbacks to the Penn State-Iowa game from the 2012 season.
"Right about when Robb's wife started getting stabbed repeatedly in her pregnant belly, I was like 'oh yeah, all too familiar'," said Des Moines resident Lee Generico. "Why don't you show me Brandon Scherff getting his leg mangled while you're at it?"
The ambush attack is largely carried out with a volley of arrows on an unsuspecting Stark family, prompting many Hawkeye fans to remember Penn State's aerial assault throughout the game.
"I came into the living room last night and my husband's just sitting there watching Game of Thrones and muttering 'Matt McGloin Matt McGloin Matt McGloin' over and over," said Sue Denim. "Why subject your viewers to that? What kind of monster do you have to be?"
"I'm canceling HBO tomorrow," Denim added. "It's bad enough that he can't look at a bonfire anymore without seeing Iowa's secondary that day. TV's supposed to help you relax."
The parallels were numerous for woe-stricken Iowa fans. In the show, the attack comes directly after a feast, not unlike the now-legendary AIRBHGAPALOOZA fete where thousands (if not millions) of Iowa fans descended upon Backpocket Brewery before that night's football game. The once-mighty Stark house is effectively defeated, while Iowa would not win another game after the slaughter at Penn State's hands, despite its 4-2 (2-0) start.
The show even included a nod to Iowa's late rally when a wounded Lady Stark slits the throat of Walder Frey's wife; Frey had orchestrated the entire attack. But just as the late killing brought no joy or relief to Stark, who stared ahead with dead eyes waiting for her coming execution, so too was Iowa's 14-point rally a pitiful afterthought as the horrified fans at Kinnick Stadium and watching on television could pray only that the final gun would come swiftly.
"I would give anything to be able to forget that game," said Iowa fan Will Notgivemyrealname. "Anything. And then here comes friggin' Thrones basically reenacting the game scene-for-scene and pretending it's an accident. Like, I knew the scene was coming. I've read the books. This is the Big Ten, after all. But that was more than just a bloodbath. That was pure 2012 Iowa football and I want an apology from HBO."
Hawkeye fans are encouraged to take up watching Mad Men, as nothing will possibly go wrong in the last three episodes of the season.