To be honest, I don't remember how Marchifornication 2013 ended. I like to imagine it was all settled in the WWE 2013 Royal Rumble. Amid a haze of smoke and lasers, Chris White, Brian Ferentz and Kirk (the Ghostbusterz) made a surprise entrance out of the bubblegum seats to go 3 on 1 versus the Japanese Subway Guy (possessed by AIRBHG).
I fantasize that AIRBHG was smote mercilessly in that match through a series of submission holds, standing moonsaults, and finally crossing the streams of three proton packs. Though AIRBHG's recent appearance in Steelemas unfortunately indicates that he's alive and well.
Knowing full well that it's foolish for mere mortals like us to challenge the all-powerful AIRBHG (seriously, it just makes him angrier) I submit a challenger to fight in my stead — as tribute, if you will: Los Angeles Light Rail Guy.
I ran into him on my daily commute to work this morning. I'll leave it to our benevolent BHGP overlords to decide whether he's fit to contend. From what I gather, he's not possessed by an angry deity. I don't think he has super strength — though he probably has the high level of patience and diminished sense of smell necessary to ride the LA Metro. We didn't speak during the ride even though I was sporting my Iowa Hawkeyes duffle bag and awkwardly angling the Tigerhawk emblem in his direction to try to get his attention. Yet I'm fairly certain we made a telepathic connection as I kept hearing a voice in my head saying "Go Hawks. Go Hawks."
I suppose it would have been easier for me to go introduce myself, but a quiet metro ride is a rare and beautiful thing. So I opted not to disturb the silence, instead simply responding in my head, "yes, yes I agree, go Hawks."