Our blog compadres at The Daily Gopher managed to unearth this late '90s marketing gem for Gopher football. It's well worth your time on a lazy summer day.
Let's break down a few of the most notable parts of this video.
Gophers: masters of disguise. Eat your heart out, Ethan Hunt.
Now I know advertising is all about bending the truth a little and presenting your product in the most favorable light possible, but come on -- this is just a flat-out lie. Everyone knows Glen Mason-coached Gopher teams never tackled this well.
This was the tagline of their marketing campaign. Really.
Now come on, random Minnesota football guy. I know Glen Mason was a clownfraud and all, but if there's one thing he taught his running backs, it's how to carry the damn ball. That's just sloppy.
Even the gopher knows that display of tackling acumen is the most ludicrous thing in this whole video.
Finally, an answer to the eternal question: does a Michigan Man pick flowers? Yes, a Michigan Man DOES pick flowers. Thank you, Minnesota football marketing department!
Seriously, Gopher fans should probably sue for false advertisement at this point. These commercials gave them a wildly unrealistic and improbably competent impression of the Golden Gophers' actual ability to tackle opposing footballers.
Regrettably, this video doesn't include the ad for the Iowa game, which was also a Gopher home game that year. (As for the game itself... we don't want to talk about it. Really, we don't. Trust me.) At least we'll always have the angry gopher.