Folks are passing out awards in the lull between the end of the regular season and the onslaught of the many, many, many
awkwardly named bowls. And like all bandwagons, we want a spot on the Red Flyer. So with out further ado, The 2013 BHGP Fanpost Football Awards for the University of Iowa Hawkeye Football Varsity Team of Student-Athletes Celebration/Variety Hour!!!
(What follows is the name of honor, description, and winner, in no particular order. PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN AWARDS!!! IT'S THE SEASON TO GIVE, GIVE, GIVE!! OR CORRECT MY POOR ATTEMPT AT A CHUCKLE!)
JVB Quarterback Award (given to quarterback most likely to go into pre-med and is really, really smart. You know, like takes chem tests and whatnot):Jake Rudock
Gary Dolphin Homer-Homer Award (given to a Dubuque-native player Gary Dolphin reminds us very, very frequently is from Dubuque): Mike Meyer, Honorable mention: Riley McCarron
Hughes/Hinkel Award (given to the player everyone shouts, "Holy fuck!! He's averaging what per catch?!? This guy needs more receptions!! Good god!!"): Damond Powell
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before (SMIYHTOB) Award (repeat, repeat, repeat) :Mark Weisman's inability to conform to Air Force life and choosing to sleep on the floor rather than make his bed. Honorable mention: Phil Parker (no relation to Norm Parker).
Doyle Award (given to the one person in B1G you'd like Coach Doyle to meet in a dark alley) :Bo Pelini. Honorable mentions: Bo Pelini, Bo Ryan
Nice Guy Award (given to the most wonderful contributor to the Hawkeye team): AIRBHG, for his lack of interest in the Hawkeyes, Thank you good sir, thank you!
KOK Award (given to the justifiable/unjustifiable scapegoat of the team): Tanner Miller
"I Want You To Want Me" Award (AKA 'Cheap Trip' Award (Link)) (give to a student athlete we'd like to see on the sidelines at Kinnick for their wonderful team spirit!): Darius Stokes for his fantastic sumo-squat, head wagging celebration. Priceless.
Hand to Head Award (no explanation needed): GDGD
Wow! Well Played! (no explanation needed): GDGD
Clark/Cook Award (given to the Tight End with the most distinct nose): CJ Fiedorowicz
The (Non) Top Hat Award (given to the best Tight End without 'Polish' or 'Hat' in their nickname): Jake Duzey
The Naked Bootleg Award (given to the best play involving the QB running into open space in a hook-like pattern towards the sideline without any blocking where he may choose to run for yardage or pass the ball): The Naked Bootleg
The Best Player That Plays for Iowa But Doesn't Actually Play for Iowa Award (given to the player(?) given credit for success on the field by the play-by-play team/national sports caster): Kenyon Murray-Manly (or something like that, I can't remember)
The 'You Rule Like Clayborn!' Award (given to the player who could have left early for the NFL but decided to stay his senior year): Brandon Scherff
The Power Ballad Award (AKA "Don't Know What You Got (TIll It's Gone) Link" Award) (given to the player(s) whose (Power) monster-like terror on the field was colossal and (Ballad) whose loss to graduation is really going make us sad next season): James Morris, Anthony Hitchens, Christian Kirksey
The 'Tim Dwight's initials are TD!' Award (given to the best punt and/or kickoff performance): Kevonte Martin-Manly
Some awards to get you thinkin'
The Murphy Irish Car Bomb Award (given to player that gives life-threatening hits on special teams, in honor of Jamie Murphy)
The Sixer Award (given to the player with the best beer brand sounding name, lager, pils, IPA, etc., may be added)
So there you go, that's all I got. Have fun