Former Hawkeye Big E Langston Wins WWE Intercontinental Title

BLACK HEART GOLD BELTS!

Former Iowa Hawkeyes defensive lineman Ettore Ewen, now commonly known as WWE wrestler Big E Langston, defeated Curtis Axel Monday night to win the WWE Intercontinental Championship.

Wait, let me try that again.

BIG E WON THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP YOU GUYS WOOOOOOOO WE DID IT GO IOWA AWESOME

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WE DON'T EVEN CARE IF THE EXISTENCE OF TWO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS HAS DILUTED THE INTERCONTINENTAL BELT TO SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE EUROPEAN TITLE AND THE MILLION DOLLAR BELT

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BIG E LANGSTON PUTS THE IC IN IOWA CITY

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MOVE OVER RICKY STEAMBOAT BECAUSE THE GREATEST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION EVER IS NOW HERE

Yaaaa

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Here's how he did it: On Monday Night Raw from, um, Monday night, Big E faced WWE Intercontinental Champion (and noted Minnesotan) Curtis Axel. After Axel spent 10 minutes doing what Minnesota wrestlers do -- stalling and running away from Iowans -- Big E slammed the champ, then landed a clothesline and suplex. A big splash nearly ended the match, but Axel kicked out of a pin and Langston's first attempt at his finishing move, the Big Ending.

After a sequence where Axel could not get Langston into a neckbreaker, Langston landed his finishing move. Three ain't enough. Give him five, mofos. We have a new champion.  This is pretty much the greatest day ever.

Congrats to Big E.  Congrats to all of us.

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