FanPost

A Word From Scotch Guy, about Friday.

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Friday is for the weak.

Friday is for the people who can't stand the weight of life. Friday is for those who feel like they deserve good things. No one deserves anything, much less good things. Life is earned, and Friday is not the reward.

There is nothing you can do on Friday that you could not conceivably do on any other day of the week, to include Sunday morning and Tuesday at 11:15pm. Friday isn't even Friday really. You think it's Friday and that person in the booth across from you at Chili's thinks it's Friday, but there are well over 4 million people in New Zealand (to name but one Australasian country) who will disagree with both of you. Because at that moment the two of you think it's Friday, they've already moved on to an aspirin and a lawnmower and picking up dog shit.

Friday is a mirage and while it's a warm blanket of convention for the timid clock-watchers in this world, it's nothing but empty promises for the rest of us -- because we eschew the mental handcuffs known as Friday.

Please understand this, you don't need Friday to let your hair down or put your hair up. Nor do you need Friday to be lazy at work. You don't need Friday to leave early or arrive late. You certainly don't need Friday to get away. And I am 1000% certain you do not need Friday see Journey in concert. And lest you think you need Friday to have Black Friday or Friday the 13th, let me remind you that I don't believe in ghosts and Amazon.com proved years ago that Black Friday is really every...fucking...day.

Yes, Friday is for the weak. Friday is for the people who cannot make up their own mind about what they want to do and when they want to do it. Friday is for people who need to be reminded of things. Friday is for people who watch too much television or listen to too much drive-time radio. Friday is for wimps who only have courage one day a week, maybe two. Friday is the one thing you should never, ever believe in. Actually, you should also not believe in love at first sight, but that is another story entirely.

So the next time you find yourself sitting around waiting for Friday, know this: You will be waiting in vein. Because that thing you think is going to happen on Friday and change your life forever (or at least change your life for this week), could just as easily have happened yesterday, or tonight or anytime the sun comes up or the moon comes out. You need to understand that by waiting for Friday you waited just to wait, because you believed in Friday. And Friday is a lie. Friday is a slogan, an advertising campaign for things that already happen 24/7 in Bangkok, Thailand and much of Queens. Yeah, there's nothing special about Friday.

So, fuck Friday and fuck all the robots waiting for it to come and make the week tolerable or whatever Faustian bargain they've made with an overhyped day of the week so they can feel some measure of meaning on non-Fridays. Fuck ‘em all, I say.

See you Monday.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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