James Vandenberg Meets America

In the Iowa football offices

Vandenberg_icon_medium Well........ aren't you going to say anything?

Iconferentz_medium Ummm. You know what time of year it is, you just have to roll with it. C'mon you're a quarterback, this will only make you better.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Two whole days now. I wake up, he's there. I go to lift weights, he's there. Even when I'm in the shower, I know he's standing right outside the door.

James_and_herky_in_the_office_medium

Iconferentz_medium I'm going to be honest, it makes you look very patriotic.

Vandenberg sighs as he exits the office

Vandenberg_icon_medium Alright, where do you want to go now?

Caherky_icon_medium America.

Vandenberg_icon_medium OK... Welp, we're here. Thanks for everything, I'll see you around campus sometime. Bye.

Captain America Herky stays right where he is.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Bye.

Vandenberg_icon_medium *sigh*

Vandenberg_icon_medium Alright let's go.

James_and_herky_in_class_medium

Chicken_fighting_medium

James_and_herky_running_medium

The next day the two Hawkeyes walk through Iowa City with Vandenberg in full uniform

Vandenberg_icon_medium So much for remaining incognito before the Fourth. Hey, maybe nobody will notice a Hawkeye football player in full uniform followed by a mascot wearing a Captain America costume and a giant plastic head. We'll fit right in. (Turning back to Herky) You really had to make me wear this?

Not surprisingly the two are hounded by fans of all ages and after an hour of pictures and autographs, Vandenberg has made it just three blocks.

Vandenberg_icon_medium (Thinking) OK this has gone on long enough. Time for some freedom, just like last year.

Vandenberg_icon_medium HEY! IS THAT A COMMUNIST HIPPIE KICKING A BALD EAGLE THROUGH AN AMERICAN FLAG THAT'S ON FIRE??!! LOOK! OVER THERE!

Herky turns and looks, while Vandenberg takes off on a dead sprint

Herky_chasing_james_medium

The chase is short lived as Vandenberg is tackled by Herky

Vandenberg_icon_medium Why?!! Why are you doing this? Two straight years, why?

Caherky_icon_medium America.

Vandenberg_icon_medium You keep saying that! America, America, America, America. Why always America?

Caherky_icon_medium Because I love it, I love it so much. This great land from the amber waves of grain to the oceans white with foam. There's only one America and I don't know if you truly love it, our last quarterback was made in America. His back said so. With you, there is no proof.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Hey, hey. I love America plenty. I was born and raised in the heartland and raised to respect my elders and my country. I do love this country I really do.

Caherky_icon_medium Enough to leave it?

Vandenberg_icon_medium Love it... and leave it? Wait a minute.

Vandenberg pulls off the mask to reveal one Richard Stanzi

Vandenberg_icon_medium Stanzi?! What is this about?

Pakistanziicon_medium I'm sorry, I should have come clean earlier, but what I am going to say is so shocking that I needed to monitor you to make sure you were ready.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Ready for what?

Pakistanziicon_medium Ready to see if you are a leader. And you have proven that you are. So hold on to your hat: it's about Freedom Squad.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Yeah I know about Freedom Squad, they hired me to take down Minnesota. It did not go well.

Pakistanziicon_medium Well, Freedom Squad has gone evil. I don't know what it is, but for some reason they are not loving America.

Vandenberg_icon_medium So what do we do?

Pakistanziicon_medium We take them down.

Vandenberg_icon_medium Just the two of us?

Pakistanziicon_medium Who can stop a pair of Iowa quarterbacks?

Vandenberg_icon_medium You've got a deal. Let's do it.

Pakistanziicon_medium For America?

Vandenberg_icon_medium For America.

The two men embrace and go their separate ways, each knowing America is at stake.

Pakistanziicon_medium Kids these days. It just gets easier and easier.

Pakistanziicon_medium I'm coming Freedom Squad, I'm coming.

Stanzi takes off his mask

Pakibomb_medium

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