Marcus Binns, a walk-on running back and brother of former Iowa defensive end (and owner of Go Go Gadget arms) Broderick Binns, decided he didn't care much for the price of a shirt at Dillard's last weekend and would rather pay a different amount for it. Unfortunately, doing so isn't exactly, um, legal.
Marcus A. Binns, 21, faces a charge of fifth-degree theft for the incident at the Dillard’s in Coral Ridge Mall.
Police were called to the store at 6:30 p.m. July 13 after a security officer saw Binns switch tags from one shirt to another, changing the value from $75 to $17.32, according to a criminal complaint.
This exploit in bad behavior earned Binns the Younger a simple misdemeanor for fifth-degree theft. That's pretty penny ante for AIRBHG, but hey, it's the dog days of summer -- no one ever said malevolent deities were immune to ennui. Binns' misadventures in shopping will likely earn him an express trip to Kirk Ferentz's doghouse, where he can look forward to running sprints up and down the Kinnick Stadium steps and seeing his chances of playing time recede even further into the distance.
Remember, kids: haggling is for bazaars in Istanbul, not department stores in Coralville. On the plus side, Iowa should finally be on the board in the 2012 Fulmer Cup race, you guys.