MARCHIFORNICATION 2012, ROUND 1: CY-HAWK vs. BROMMELHEAD

NUMBER THREE SEED: CY-HAWK TROPHY

Cy_hawk_white_people_medium

What it did to get here: Where do we begin? For one, it existed, replacing the former high school shop class-produced trophy. It was widely and immediately derided as the ultimate symbol of the worst trophy ever, even though Jacobi (and another Marchifornication competitor) worked to save it. Got the corn mascot guy a job with the ISU athletic department. Made HEC get all metaphysical on the philosophy of trophies. Eventually was retired, but that was one hell of a week.

NUMBER SIX SEED: BROMMELHEAD

Brommer_bobble_medium

What it did to get here: It's the possibly haunted ceramic representation of one of our favorite Hawkeyes, made doubly awesome by the...
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium Wait a second.
Iconbhgp_medium ...the fact that Andrew, while one of the most hardworking...
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium What the heck is this?
Iconbhgp_medium ...Hawkeyes on the roster, doesn't usually get...
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium I...I...are you seeing this?
Iconbhgp_medium Seeing what?
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium Coming down to the ring, it's...

Gatens_outsider_medium

Icongatens_medium Hey yo
Icongatens_medium You people, you know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here.
Icongatens_medium Where is Billionaire Kirk?
Icongatens_medium Where is the Mandenberg? That punk can't even get in the building.
Icongatens_medium Me? I go wherever I want...whenever I want.
Icongatens_medium And where is Scary Gary? Because I've got a scoop for you.
Icongatens_medium When that Ken doll lookalike, that wannabe weatherman comes down here later this week, I've got a challenge for him.
Icongatens_medium For Billionaire Kirk, for Mandenberg, for the rest of you, you want to go that way?
Icongatens_medium You want a war?
Icongatens_medium You're gonna get one.
Icongatens_medium /drops mic, walks out
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium That was...I don't know what that was.
Gary_dolphin_icon_medium What about the match? What about the match? Your local Lenox home heating expert will want a match!
Iconbhgp_medium Well, the match goes on, of course, Scary Gary.
Iconbhgp_medium Who wins the round, Marchifornicators?

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