Dispatches From Blogfrica: Sippin' On Purple Talks Iowa-Northwestern Hoops

by RossWB on Feb 7, 2012 1:54 PM CST in Iowa Hawkeyes Basketball

If I was a good blogger, I would have started this feature a few months back. But I'm a half-assed blogger, so you'll just have to live with getting it now (and for the duration of the season). What is it? Pretty simple: I ask questions of an opposing team's blogger, they answer. A truly revolutionary idea, no? First up: Friend of the Pants Loretta8 from excellent just Northwestern blog, Sippin' On Purple.

1) Iowa's main defensive weaknesses are an inability to defend the post and a propensity to be victimized by good three-point shooting and effective ball movement. Be honest: is Northwestern's offense going to kill our defense or totally MURDERDEATHKILL our defense?

Yes, that match up would certainly appear to favor Northwestern, what with their #12 in the nation offense per KenPom (ahead of Ohio State, THATS RIGHT, SUCK IT BUCKEYES) and all. Although you won't have to worry about defending the post; I'm pretty sure the BHGP staff could shut down Davide Curletti and Luka Mirkovic. (Ed. Note: This is entirely possible since Patrick and HFMR are giants. -- Ross)

I think Iowa's best bet would be to play zone, take away the back-cuts and hope Northwestern has a cold night shooting threes. Northwestern is also playing with a very short bench due to injuries so full court pressure to speed up the game and tire Northwestern out would be a good strategy as well.

2) John Shurna has an unconventional shooting stroke. Would you say that it most resembles: (a) an otter having a stroke, (b) a chasing dog finally catching that elusive car, (c) a death row inmate being electrocuted, or (d) a fish flopping into a vat of acid?

I'm going with (e) an albatross with two broken wings.

3) Is there a secret clause in Carmody's contract that requires him to have at least one Eastern European player (also called "Eurotrash" by the geopolitically insensitive) on the squad at all times? Where does he dig up these consonant-loving hoops fiends? And I know that you are a wager-friendly person; what are the odds that Luka Mirkovic drains a clutch shot against Iowa on Thursday?

I hope a secret clause is the reason he keeps bringing in these big white stiffs, because it would be pretty inexplicable otherwise. I believe over his tenure, he has recruited players from Serbia, Croatia, France, Morocco, Canada, Trinidad & Tobago, Luxembourg and Denmark, and next year he's bringing in a kid born in Romania.

As for Mirkovic, he's been out with an ankle injury the last three games, an injury that may explain why his game has regressed to poor man's Andrew Brommer levels.

4) On a scale of 1-10, how much does Northwestern's inability to make the NCAA Tournament in basketball rankle you? What are their odds of ending that streak this year? Is that streak more or less aggravating than the bowl game futility streak in football?

That would be a solid 10 out of 10. And this probably isn't the year either, although Sunday's upset at Illinois has rekindled enthusiasm and given them a fighting chance. I'd put their probability of making it at about 15-20 percent right now. At this point I just want them to have a realistic chance going into Selection Sunday, so I can be terrified/excited all day, ignore my friends and family, drink heavily, and then have my dreams crushed in a new and creative manner.

The basketball streak is infinitely more aggravating than the football version, largely because I've seen Northwestern football have great teams and great seasons. There was the program's first year of existence in 1995, the subsequent Big Ten co-championship in 1996, and the fantastically entertaining Big Ten co-champions in 2000 (although NU football ceased to exist that year for one week when a game in Kinnick Stadium was allegedly played, LA LA LA LA I AM NOT LISTENING). But yeah, Northwestern football fans have something to hang their hats on. The basketball fans have nothing.

5) Did Bill Carmody have a childhood trauma that caused his present aversion to wearing neckties? Has he ever considered wearing bowties? Do you find the fact that he looks like a mash-up of Newt Gingrich and Bill Pullman titillating or unnerving? Do you think Bill Carmody could effectively marshal the remnants of humanity for a last-gasp charge at a nightmarish invading alien army? (NOTE: In this scenario, the roles played by Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith may or may not be filled by John Shurna and JerShonn Cobb.)

I really have nothing to add to that.

But I will point out that Bill Carmody has the most underrated troll game in the Big Ten. His sideline histrionics after turnovers are great, but his best work comes when talking to the media. Whenever he's asked by a sideline reporter at halftime what his team needs to do in the second half, he simply says "Make shots" with a straight face, and people actually think he's serious. It's great. If Northwestern were actually good he'd probably get way more lippy too.

6) Finally -- prediction time. Who ya got?

Even though Northwestern should be about a touchdown favorite I'm worried about this game. NU's bench is really short, and Iowa goes deep into theirs. Also, Bill Carmody's teams have traditionally had letdown games after big wins like the one Sunday at Illinois. I'll say Iowa 75, Northwestern 72

Thanks for being a good sport, Loretta. Be sure to check out Loretta and Rodger and the rest of the SoP gang over at Sippin' On Purple. The Iowa-Northwestern game is in Evanston, IL on Thursday, February 9th at 8pm CT, with television coverage from ESPNU.

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Comments

She's a girl, therefore I discount everything she says. //PamOliver'd

In all seriousness though, great feature. And well-informed guest.

by Torbee on Feb 7, 2012 2:08 PM CST reply actions 2 recs

Who's a girl?

Twitter

by The Mexican't on Feb 7, 2012 2:18 PM CST up reply actions

I'm guessing he's referring to Loretta.

by StewMonkey13 on Feb 7, 2012 2:27 PM CST up reply actions

Who I don't think is a girl

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 7, 2012 4:02 PM CST up reply actions

Well wouldn't you agree that its a logical assumption?

I’ve never met a man named Loretta. Just sayin’.

by Torbee on Feb 7, 2012 4:04 PM CST up reply actions

When this all gets sorted out,

I think you and me should get an apartment together!

The High Porch Picnic

by mikjones24 on Feb 7, 2012 4:12 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs

i generally dont correct people

because i find debates about my gender hilarious

no apology necessary.

by Loretta8 on Feb 7, 2012 4:09 PM CST up reply actions

pffffft, typical thing for a girl to say.

"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion - however satisfying and reassuring."

by Bucketochicken on Feb 7, 2012 5:00 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs

"Poor man's Andrew Brommer"

So…a telephone pole inconveniently located on a hairpin turn?

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Feb 7, 2012 2:29 PM CST reply actions

Telephone poles can’t set moving screens.

by Angle's Dangle on Feb 7, 2012 3:12 PM CST up reply actions

Or get 3 fouls in under a minute

"He lowballed us and said: 'Take it or leave it. If you don't take our offer, you are rolling the dice.' I said: 'Consider them rolled.' " - Jim "Huge Brass Balls" Delaney

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 7, 2012 3:18 PM CST up reply actions

A minute might be an exaggeration

35 seconds is better.

The High Porch Picnic

by mikjones24 on Feb 7, 2012 3:44 PM CST up reply actions

More like a wind turbine

with nerf blades

"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass

by chitownhawkeye on Feb 7, 2012 4:05 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs

An orange traffic cone mounted on an RC car with nearly-dead batteries?

by Brock Sampson on Feb 7, 2012 4:49 PM CST up reply actions

Poor man's Andrew Brommer=Yi Jianlian's chair

Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.

by Nickhawk08 on Feb 7, 2012 3:54 PM CST up reply actions

Is jNW using a scarecenter too?

Sure Lisa, some magical animal.

by IowaPharmer on Feb 8, 2012 7:50 AM CST up reply actions

I like how the "just" is in regular font

The High Porch Picnic

by mikjones24 on Feb 7, 2012 2:29 PM CST reply actions

Well I had already written this game off as a loss.

Now that jNWU bloggers are going all woe is me and predicting a loss, I KNOW the Hawks will get blown out.

Editor and author at: Music is Good

by cafreema on Feb 7, 2012 2:42 PM CST reply actions

Magic

White Horn Gold Pants

by DM_Purp on Feb 7, 2012 2:53 PM CST up reply actions

i will not be out-sandbagged

by Loretta8 on Feb 7, 2012 4:01 PM CST up reply actions

...

We’ve seen your court, jNWU; we’re here to help.

"I’m not going to comment on anything beyond where I’ve been so far." - Gary Barta

by SomeJerkPoster on Feb 7, 2012 2:53 PM CST reply actions 2 recs

this was great

More of these please

‎"Stick em' with the pointy end!"

by SantosL.Halper on Feb 7, 2012 3:07 PM CST reply actions

How Does One Become One's Own Editor?

Sounds like a cushy job!

by stargate125645 on Feb 7, 2012 3:11 PM CST reply actions

It helps to be schizophrenic.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 7, 2012 3:45 PM CST up reply actions

I know I shouldn't judge people

But John Shurna has a very punch-able face.

"40 MINUTES OF MEH!" - djwoody

by The Bacon Explosion on Feb 7, 2012 3:12 PM CST reply actions

That's one of the quickest shots I've ever seen.

meh

by tyger1147 on Feb 7, 2012 3:47 PM CST reply actions

If I was to compare Shurna's shooting motion to anyone,

it would probably be Taylor Martinez.

Watching the Cubs piss it away for 31 years.

by CarolinaHawk on Feb 7, 2012 4:14 PM CST reply actions 3 recs

It kind of looks like how I shoot a basketball

Only difference is, his shots go it. Or get near. Or hit the backboard at all.

I’m a poor basketball player.

by Xarin on Feb 7, 2012 4:22 PM CST up reply actions

no title needed

by C-Razzle on Feb 7, 2012 4:27 PM CST reply actions

Awesome

Also, I think Sash would be very good at real life Angry Birds, aerodynamically speaking.

I didn't invent the black turtleneck, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment.

by KilometersDavis on Feb 7, 2012 6:18 PM CST up reply actions

John Shurna's has textbook form on his jumper

It happens to be textbook form for a chest pass, but still.

by NorseHawk on Feb 7, 2012 4:58 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

This is all that has to be said...

by FlyingDutchman1 on Feb 8, 2012 7:47 AM CST reply actions

That is some severely misdirected anger

They participated in the flag part, but I wouldn’t have help up a sign when the rest of the stadium was black and gold with stuff like “Go Hawks” if I were them either. Putting a key portion of the display over the place where they knew the opposing band sits was dumb as hell.

by NorseHawk on Feb 8, 2012 8:31 AM CST up reply actions

Yup

Offsetting the ANF logo would’ve solved this problem. Given all of the impressive attention to detail that went into pulling the card stunt together, it’s odd that wasn’t given more consideration.

The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.

by HawkeyeGirleye on Feb 8, 2012 8:41 AM CST up reply actions